


My Pen Friend

by FortuitousOccurrence



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Non-Explicit Sex, bc this is all this is, do you like cute nice relationship stories?, i dunno, there is a little angst but its mostly really cute and nice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 10:32:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 61,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9652046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FortuitousOccurrence/pseuds/FortuitousOccurrence
Summary: Ivy is a college student intent on furthering her Korean language skills. She starts looking for a pen pal and strikes up a conversation with a user named seoulboyxo.





	1. Chapter 1

“I take back what I said about wanting winter to come.” The girl grumbled under her breath. The wind bit through her thick sweater as she trudged to class, adjusting the strap on her backpack. “I didn’t want it to be this cold.” Her face surely looked harder and more angry than she actually was, which was mildly annoyed with the wind and near freezing temperatures. The length of her walk to her class seemed to be just to spite her in the early freezing days of the semester. Looking back at her schedule tucked in her planner, she checked the room number as she approached the building. Rolling her eyes, she headed for the outside stairs. “Of course it’s upstairs.” she sighed. Feeling the weight of her backpack as she tried her best not to fall, the icy cold of the metal handrail prevented her from taking hold, instead depending on her balance. Her balance wasn’t exactly the best bet but she managed the stairs slowly, her books on her back pulling her down.

She walked into the building trying to mask her struggle to catch her breath. She was so sure that the other people waiting in the hallway noticed even if they didn’t show that they did. Sure enough, there her classroom was at the end of the hall on the left. Hardly any seats left. Of course, she thought, stepping in. A seat near the front is usually the best way to get called on but so is the back. But a seat on the second row is all that’s left. She sits down in the second row of desks near the center. Backpack at her feet and hands fiddling with a pen, she braced herself for the usual first day events, syllabi, introductions, and being forced to interact with the other students in the class. She went over her responses again, just as she did earlier that morning and the night before.

The professor began speaking, reading over the syllabus, and essentially repeating the same things she’s been hearing for the past two years. Still, she remained attentive. Half way through the class period and the professor began taking attendance. She prepared herself as the professor went down the list. At the mention of her name, her hand calmly went up and a shaky “here” left her lips. Mentally cursing herself for her weak response, she shook her head a little. Then came the part she dreaded the most. A sheet of paper landed on her desk, a worksheet to get the students to talk to each other. It had a list of the same old questions, ‘find someone who has left the country’, ‘has sisters’, ‘has brothers’, ‘speaks another language’, and so on and on and on. The worst part was that she had to actually get up and speak to these other people, a notion that to this day made her stomach flip and her feet want to run away. But with a false smile and a genuine attempt she managed to get a few names on her sheet before the professor dismissed them.

And the process was repeated twice more before she left for home.

It felt ridiculous how tired she was when she returned to her family’s house. It was dead quiet, neither of her parents or her sister home at this time in the afternoon. Retiring to her room where she’d likely stay for the remainder of the evening, she tucked away any papers from her classes into a drawer where she might retrieve them later, should she need them in the future. She sat in the chair by her desk, debating taking a nap and how it might affect her sleep that night. She opted to stay awake, busying herself scrolling through Tumblr for an hour or two before deciding to do something productive. She needed to review her scripts for her next YouTube video and review her language lessons from the break. The scripts seemed most appealing first so ignoring her perfectly available desk, she set her notebook on her lap. Holding her pen between her teeth, she set her phone to a Kpop station on Pandora and left it to sit as she busied herself with her scripts and video schedule. After an hour went by, the rest of her family was home and her script was finished and ready to film, despite the mess of scratch marks littered all over the page.

Now, onto her language review before dinner. Korean was easier than she expected, as one of those languages that English speakers always seemed to turn into these giant insurmountable tasks. In around a year, she’d managed to achieve the language skills of a four year old. Four different multi subject notebooks and a dozen other books and dictionaries made up her “language shelf” on her bookcase. The fifth notebook sat on her desk open as she reread her notes from her previous lessons. Recording herself speaking some key phrases and sample sentences, she practiced her pronunciation. Once through the section of lessons and finished listening to her recordings again, adjusting pronunciation where necessary, she left her room for dinner with her family.

Family dinners were usually full of laughter and sometimes heated debates when politics was brought up. Afterwards everyone would disperse except for whoever was assigned to wash dishes for the night. The dishwasher was often left unused, unless an unusual amount of dishes required cleaning. It was her night to do the dishes. Though the task felt like it was dragging on, she listened in on her mom’s sitcom playing in the other room, laughing a little as time went on.

After a day that felt longer than it was, she was growing even more tired as she sat down in her room again. This time she readied herself for sleep and settled down on her bed, laptop in front of her as she laid on her side. Not quite tired enough to sleep and feeling a little confident after reviewing her language notes, she logged onto the pen pal site she uses.

Over the year of studying Korean, she’s had several pen pals, few of them interacting with her for more than a month. But this was because of both her and their lack of replies. There was one, HeeJin, who was a very sweet girl that she’d talked to for several months before suddenly, HeeJin stopped replying to her altogether. It was a mystery but months went by and she never replied again. So, now, she’s on the prowl again for a new pen pal, this time someone interesting. Someone she might have something in common with. She updated her profile, adding more of her description in Korean. Entering a new search for Korean speakers, she began filtering through the pages, looking at a few profiles. A couple of them looked worthy of messages but her own shyness got the best of her and the profiles were left uncontacted. There was one by the username blahblahyun, a college student studying fine arts and looking to improve their English. They had similar taste in movies and art. Another by the name of roro88, she seemed cute and nice, also a college student but studying engineering, also trying to learn English. And the other one that she considered messaging, seoulboyxo. He didn’t have a picture on his, at least not a clear one of himself. The only image on his page of a person was of a figure in a long coat, presumably himself, walking down a dark street only illuminated by streetlamps. Any other pictures were of either cityscapes or musical equipment. He didn’t give much information about himself, just that he was a musician and he traveled a lot. He said he wanted to learn English for his job, but any English on his profile was broken. It was obvious he didn’t know much. He talked a lot about music and films he liked. A good 70% of his profile were songs that he liked at the moment, and a couple of them were apparently his own mixes. She listened and enjoyed the majority of it but still wasn’t sure if she wanted to contact him or not, even if only to compliment the music on his page.

So, she listened to her doubts and didn’t. If any of them wanted to contact her they’d be able to see that she viewed their page anyway.

Instead she closed her laptop and set it on the rolling chair in her room. Rolling over in her bed, she settled into her blankets ready to sleep off the worries of the day and rest her eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of the profiles Ivy viewed the night before sends her a message. The two of them introduce themselves and have a nice little chat together about time difference.

She didn’t get up until mid morning the next day, waking at 10 and scrolling through her phone til 10:30. Eventually she had to get up, knowing she had to be at work in the next hour. Groaning, she rolled out of bed, letting herself slide off and onto the floor. It wasn’t good to sleep in that late when she had to get up early several days a week but she was too lazy to change. Sleep was nice. Taking her time getting dressed and washing her face, she rushed to eat something before leaving for her part time job.

She was a temporary worker at a pest control company, only there to help transfer all their paper files to digital. Her duties consisted essentially of scanning files and labeling them appropriately in the company’s archive. The company had been in business for nearly 50 years so this was quite a pile of documents to file. It was more than a pile, it was a mountain. Perhaps an Everest of papers. But she was paid by the hour so the longer it took to archive it all, the longer she would be paid, so she was in no rush. Sometimes she might also need to answer the phone but she avoided it like the plague. Her desk in the back room was cluttered with papers but her phone stayed in sight, even if it was locked and the screen dark. It as more of a safety blanket sort of thing, her phone kept her from fidgeting and from panicking should a stressful situation arise.

But sometimes, not often but sometimes, it could be a distraction.

Her screen lit up with an email and it was too tempting not to just look at who sent it or what it was about. To her surprise, it was the pen pal website.  
“seoulboyxo sent you a message.”

She smiled a little. Maybe someone did want to talk to her. She bit the inside of her cheek as she thought about reading it then. Her boss was out for the day and most of the time, no one else in the office noticed her or came down to her office. Just taking a few minutes to read it wouldn’t hurt. Unlocking her phone and going to her email she read his message to her. The beginning was in English.

“Hi ivyvine, you viewed my page but didn’t message me. i wonder if you are too shy? Your korean is very good and youve only studied a year! I have studied english for longer but my english is poor. even worse speaking. May I use korean?” Then he switched to Korean.

“Korean is much easier for me. Haha. Though I need to use English more, I think I should introduce myself well before practicing any English with you. I know you were looking for a language exchange partner. I hope I can be of some help. I am 23 international age. Because of my career, I travel frequently, mostly around Asia. I spend a lot of time recently in China as well but I know Chinese as well as I know English. Not very good. Haha. But I am working on both. Music is everything to me. It is my source of income and a source of happiness. I know from your page that we have some musical interests in common :) I applaud your good taste hahaha. Perhaps we can talk more? And we can practice our English and Korean with each other?” Then he closed the message in English again.

“I hope you are well. I look forward to your reply. --seoulboyxo” She read it through slowly, hoping that she understood his Korean message correctly. Then she read it all again, the feeling of anxiety creeping up on her like the realization she’ll have to make a phone call by herself or give a speech in front of a group of people. She should reply to him, she thought, opening a new email.

No, not right now. She had to remind herself where she was.

“In a while.” She muttered to herself. Deciding to reply on her lunch break, she went back to work. Scanning a few more folders before she stopped for lunch. Finally her break came and she left for lunch. The little cafe down the street was cheap and open for lunch so she stopped there. With a little under an hour left for lunch she immediately ordered and settled in an empty table near the back. Immediately pulling out her phone, she began thinking of a reply. She debated over which language to use. English then Korean? A mix? She settled on the same message twice, once in English then again in Korean. So, she began.

“Hi seoulboyxo, you’re right. I was too shy to message you. I really liked the music you shared but I wasn’t sure if you would want to talk to me. I even thought about messaging you only about your music but I was too nervous. You can call me Ivy. I’m 20 international age, so you’re a little bit older than me. Don’t worry about the quality of your English. Even making an attempt to use it is better than not using it at all. I’m sure with more practice you can improve. I’d be happy to help you any way I can :) Maybe we could become friends along the way. I have a KakaoTalk (ivyvine214) if you would rather talk there. I hope this finds you well. -- Ivy”

Before she hit send, she checked the time. If he was in Korea now, it would be close to three in the morning. Oh well, he’ll read it eventually. Send. Now, she could enjoy her lunch.

Promptly returning to the office, she continued working. But only an hour later, her phone lit up again. This time with a Kakao message from seoulboyxo.

“Instant message is easier than email, isn’t it?” He asked in English. It had to be four in the morning there right now. He certainly didn’t appear to have a nine to five job but what was he doing awake so early in the morning? Quickly she replied.

“Isn’t it 4 am?” He read it immediately.

“What time is it for you?”

“2pm.” She said. A few minutes passed and her phone lit up again.

“Why are you worried about the time here?” He asked.

“Most people sleep at 4am.” She set down her phone intent on continuing her work but she knew as soon as he replied she’d jump on her phone to respond. A few more minutes passed.

“But am I most people?” He asked.

“I suppose you’re not, considering you don’t appear to have slept any between your first message to me and now.” She sent her message before sending another. “What are you doing awake at this time anyway?” Ten minutes went by but instead of going back to her work, she continually glanced at her phone, eager to know how he might reply. His reply finally came, this time in Korean.

“I was working most of the night.” Her eyebrows raised in surprise. Goodness, she thought. She’d heard about the work ethic over there and he seemed like a very dedicated guy but working all night seemed so tough.

“So, what are you doing now?” She asked, continuing the conversation in his language. “Still working?” Fifteen minutes passed this time before his reply.

“I have shows later today, so I’m currently traveling.” She leaned back in her chair to reply.

“Aren’t you tired? You should sleep, if you can.” She sent it, then regretted it. She literally just started talking to him like an hour ago, why was she so concerned for his health or whether he sleeps enough? But it was too late, he read it.

“Since you told me, I’ll try to sleep.” He said. A moment later, it was followed by a sticker. A dog looking very sleepy and waving, the moon and night sky behind it. She couldn’t help but giggle a little. At least he wasn’t one of those people who never used stickers or emojis. Unsure of what to say, she just set her phone to the side again, thinking about how nice it was to have a new pen pal. Hopefully this one would last more than a few weeks.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivy and seoulboyxo continue talking. But Ivy’s friend is suspicious because of how little she knows about him.

Work finished quietly. It wasn’t her most productive day but she was smiling as she clocked out for the evening. It had been a good day, she thought.  
“I slept in for a while this morning and I wasn’t tired by mid afternoon. I got another box of files done. And I think I may have made a new friend.” She thought to herself as she began her drive home. Music from her phone flooded her car speakers. Something upbeat that she could sort of sing along with. Love Me Right seemed a good fit for the moment. It felt so nice when she could keep up with some of the lyrics. She was lost at the rap parts but she could sing along pretty well. In the privacy of her own car she didn’t worry about anyone hearing her singing however bad she might be. 

“Just love me right, Just love me right, 내 우주는 전부 너야.” Her head gently bopped from side to side as she drove down the near empty road, fingers tapping against the steering wheel with the beat, sometimes mimicking the choreography. The music continued through a few more songs from the album before she arrived home. Greeting her mother and sister as she walked through the kitchen and through the house to her room. 

Later after dinner was done and cleaned up, she returned to her room, intent on doing some reading for her Sociology class. She read two pages when her phone buzzed from where it sat on her bed. Rolling over in her desk chair she retrieved it, immediately seeing a new Kakao message. 

“Hey. Are you busy?” From seoulboyxo. The corner of her mouth twitched up momentarily as she relaxed back in her chair. 

“Not really. I was just doing some reading.” She waited a moment after sending. A few seconds passed and he read it, replying immediately.

“Oh! I’m sorry. Please don’t let me bother you.” Ivy smiled bigger this time as she rolled back towards her desk. 

“It’s for school, so it’s nothing I can’t put off for later.” She flipped over to Tumblr instead of trying to continue reading. She scrolled through her dashboard for a while. After a few minutes.

“Haha. Don’t put off too much schoolwork though.” He replied. 

“I won’t. Did you get any rest?” She replied in Korean this time. 

“I rested a while. I’ll have more time to sleep tonight though.” She waited a minute before replying, thinking over her answer. 

“So, what are you doing now?” She scooted her chair over so she could prop her feet up on her bed, returning to Tumblr for the meantime. 

“Waiting for the makeup artist.” His reply came within ten minutes. But now, Ivy wasn’t sure what to reply. She sat staring at her phone for a few minutes, at least a dozen different replies flying through her mind, but none of them seemed good enough to send. After twenty minutes of typing replies then deleting them before sending, he sent another message. “What are you listening to right now?” She’d forgotten that she had music playing on her laptop until she read his message. Listening a second, she knew the song. 

“David Bowie - Thursday’s Child.” She waited to see what he’d say. After a minute or two she went back to Tumblr. She really did like this song, she thought as she sang along absentmindedly. After ten minutes passed, she put her phone aside and stared at her textbook for a few seconds, narrowing her eyes at it in disgust. But she continued reading, searching for where she left off. Not even a paragraph in, her phone vibrated again.

“I like it. But I can’t find a translation, could you tell me what it’s about?” He asked in Korean. Glancing to her book then back to her phone a few times, she picked up her phone again. She thought for a moment.

“It’s a reflection on who he could have been and who he became. There’s an old Scottish nursery rhyme that says ‘Thursday’s Child has far to go.’ He had a long path ahead of him in life. He didn’t become the man he imagined but he doesn’t regret it because he’s come a long way and created relationships that are important to him. He found things to love along the way that made him into who he is.” It was easier for her to explain this in English, rather than taking twice the time and words to explain her feelings completely in Korean. “I’ll work on a translation of the lyrics for you but this is the gist of it.” Immediately setting her phone aside she went back to her book. 

Time passed slowly as she tried to return to her studies, but then again the early American colonies could only be so interesting, especially when you were being forced to read about it. Once she was able to get back into her history studying, she didn’t pay any mind to her phone, even when it vibrated with a new message. Once the chapter was outlined and notes for the section were finished, she closed her books and leaned back in her chair for a minute. She glanced at her phone, a preview of the message was waiting on her lockscreen. It had been waiting for over an hour now. It could wait a minute more. A quick change of clothes and a few minutes in the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth, and she fell over on her bed. Phone in hand she settled in, holding it above her face. 

“I’ll expect a full translation, haha” He sent initially, followed by, “What do you mean by ‘the gist of it’?“ 

“The basic meaning of it. The basic idea of the song.” She answered. Flipping over to Tumblr in the meantime, she reblogged a few things and read a bit. Fifteen more minutes and he replied. 

“Oh, I understand.” Followed by another text. “Isn’t it late now?” She glanced at the time. 

11:34 PM.

“I suppose it is getting a little late.” She said. What she didn’t say was how tired she really was, but she wasn’t about to risk throwing off another pen pal after she just started talking to him. 

“You said you’re a student. Do you have classes tomorrow?” His replies were quick, within minutes now. 

“Yes but not until mid morning.” 

“You should sleep.” Followed by an emoji, :p. “Rest is important.” 

“And why should I listen to you, Mr workaholic?” She asked, returning the emoji. 

“Because I know how important sleep is. You need it to learn.” 

“What time is it where you are?” She could have easily figured it out herself but she asked him. 

“1:40 pm.” He replied. “I have to prepare to go on stage now. Get some sleep.” She thought a moment about how to reply. Realizing she was smiling, she sent two stickers. The first one of the Kakao characters saying ‘okay’ with a thumbs up, the second was the dog again, this time sleeping beneath a blanket and the night sky. Chuckling a little, she locked her phone, plugged it in, and set it on her nightstand to charge. Burying herself under her blankets, she closed her eyes and drifted off. 

 

Their conversations continued every day for the following weeks. Most days they would talk off and on throughout the day. A while in the morning and a while at night, almost always ending in one of them telling the other to sleep. But some nights, only once every week or two, they would sit in front of their phones talking for hours and hours, about everything from languages to clothes to philosophy to exchanging songs. They’d explain grammar and vocabulary to each other and share music, and some nights when she couldn’t sleep and he was willing to talk, she would ask him the strangest questions, whatever was on her mind. If dogs wore pants how would they wear them? Do you think aliens know what capitalism is? His answers were, in essence, only on their back legs and probably not. But they discussed them for a while anyway. Eventually their late night conversations, at least her late night, devolved into meme battles on more than one occasion. 

Over the next month, he missed a few days here and there. Usually he was only missing for one day at a time and on those days, she found herself feeling a little sad. She realized that she was missing him. 

Now, it’s not as if he was her only friend. She had a few friends from high school that had stayed around. They all still went to the same school, though their plans for after that little two year college were each very different. Hope was in the culinary arts program and wanted to move upstate to be a chef. June was going to business school after her time there. And Ivy was still having doubts about her future but she knew she wanted to get out of their state, get out of the country and live abroad. Hence her solo language studies.  
Which brings us back to her pen pal. He hadn’t replied in over two days and Ivy was getting restless. She met June in the student lounge between her classes on the third day without word from him. 

“I mean he’s had a few days here and there where we didn’t talk but it’s been almost three days. And it’s not like I haven’t made an attempt to talk to him but he hasn’t read my messages.” Ivy bit the inside of her cheek. “What if all our conversations got to be too much? And he decided he didn’t want to bother talking to me anymore? What if he thought I was being annoying?” She didn’t know anyone who could worry like she could, jumping from perfectly reasonable to absolutely ludicrous in a matter of seconds. 

“He’s probably just busy. You’re not annoying. I mean you can be but you’re pretty good at checking yourself before you get really annoying.” June commented with a smile, attempting to console her worrywart of a friend. Ivy continued biting her lip and staring off into space, every horrible possibility sprinting through her mind. “How much do you know about this guy anyway? Do you even know his real name?” Ivy thought a moment. She’d always called him oppa or sometimes she just called him idiot or some random nickname based on their conversation. It hadn’t bothered her until then how little she actually knew about him. 

“I don’t know his name. I know he’s a 23 year old musician from Seoul. He has a sister. But that’s it as far as substantial information. I know a lot about his music taste and some opinions about aliens and memes and dramas but that’s basically all I know about him.” Ivy stared at the table between her and her friend. 

“How can you be talking with him for over a month and not even know his name? Even just his first name?” June paused. “That’s kind of weird that he didn’t tell you his name though.” 

“It couldn’t have just slipped his mind. What if he has a reason why he never said?” Ivy jumped through the possible answers to her new question. A few of them stuck out.

“What if he’s not actually a 23 year old musician?” Her friend suggested. “What if he’s an old man getting off on all your conversations? What if he plans on luring you in then swindling you out of money?” 

“You sound like my mom. I don’t think he’s lying, he’s just not giving me all the information. But I can’t imagine him being anything but a 23 year old musician. It’s like the essence of who he is.” June just gave Ivy a questioning look. 

“Isn’t that what they all say? You know, right before they meet the guy in person and end up on the six o’clock news?” Her expression was that of mother warning a child.  
“Do you think he’s something he’s not?” Ivy was even beginning to doubt. 

“I don’t know, I haven’t been talking with him. But I would be suspicious. He seems like he has something to hide.” She check the time on her phone and gathered her books. “I’ve got to get to class. I’ll see you.” 

“See you.” Ivy returned, a little to distracted by her thoughts to think about her friend leaving. Why wasn’t he telling her everything? Had it just slipped his mind? Surely not, but that would mean he purposefully didn’t tell her. She didn’t want to think that the first real friend she’d found via pen pal wasn’t actually friendly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weeks pass without a word from him. Finally though, he replies and she questions his identity.

It had been over three weeks since their last message. Ivy was ready to give up on the whole thing. It appeared to be turning out just how all the other pen pals did. Really active for a few weeks then, nothing. School went on and she only became more and more tired as the middle of the semester came. 

“One last semester.” She reminded herself. “One more and you’re out of here.” She rubbed her neck and leaned back in her chair as she took a break from writing one of her three mid term papers. Checking the time, she saw it was almost one in the morning. She closed her eyes, hoping just for a few moments of rest before her timer went off and she had to return to her school work. After seemingly no time at all, her phone buzzed and she sighed. With a groan, she looked back to her laptop screen but the light from her phone’s screen drew her attention away. In her haste to check if it was real, she opened the app, not thinking about how busy she was or the fact that he’ll see she read the message. He was back and apologizing for his absence, accompanied with a bunch of stickers. He spammed her with the same message over and over. I’m sorry. 

“미안해 미안해 미안해”

She laughed aloud, placing a hand on her cheek, partly because she was happy and partly because of how cute his attempts at apology were. As she was beginning to consider how to respond, her timer actually went off, reminding her of a more important task. All of her mid term papers had to be finished in the next 48 hours, she didn’t really have any time to spare. Putting her phone to the side again, she reset her alarm to start another work session and went back to work. Fifteen minutes later, her phone vibrated again. She glanced at her screen before she could stop herself, hands still on the keyboard. He sent more apologies, begging her forgiveness. He seemed to think that she was angry and ignoring him. It wouldn’t hurt to let him wait a while, let him feel just a little taste of how his absence felt. She kept writing, struggling her way through paragraph after paragraph.   
Finally, after three more hours paper two of three was finished, at 4:30 AM. She figured 4AM wasn’t the best time to proofread papers so she decided it could wait until morning. Limbs and eyelids heavy with exhaustion, she closed her laptop, not even bothering to turn it off, and crawled into her bed. She was asleep almost as soon as her head touched her pillow. His message was all but forgotten as she slept. 

Morning light creeping in through her curtains caused her to stir. She breathed out a deep sigh as she stretched out her body to the length of her bed. Still tired and half asleep, she closed her eyes again. A minute passed and she was nearly asleep again but her phone buzzed from her nightstand. She groaned, unmoving, waiting a few seconds before picking it up and swiping her finger across the screen. After dismissing her alarm, she checked the time again. 

11:34 AM Saturday, March 5, 2016.

She flicked over to her home screen. The Kakao app had a little flag on the corner of it’s icon, signalling 6 new messages or notifications. Figuring it was him, she opened it. They were all from him. Half of the messages were stickers, the others were something like. 

“I was so busy with work that I didn’t think to talk to anyone. I wish I could tell you about it all. I feel really good about our next album.” Followed by a sticker, then. “I really hope you’re not to angry with me. I would feel horrible if I had upset you. Please forgive me.” And finally, the most recent one came in around 3AM. “I understand if you don’t want to talk anymore. But I’ve missed you. I’ve missed our conversations. I felt like I could talk to you about anything. I’m sorry if I’ve ruined it.” 

She sighed and checked what time it would be there, about 1:30 AM. She’d waited a while to reply to him already. 

“I’m not as mad as I was. I’m more relieved than anything else. I thought you might have abandoned me, well, like most other people do. I missed talking to you too.”   
Send. She rolled out of bed and meandered to the bathroom then to the kitchen. Her parents were already out on errands and her sister was on the family computer. Ivy poured herself some cereal and sat down to her very late breakfast. Mid way, her phone buzzed with a new message. With her mouth full of cereal, she picked it up, checking her messages. He replied, unsurprisingly. He was frequently on late at night.

“Thank God. I was afraid you wouldn’t want to talk to me anymore.” She smiled a little. Then another message came in. “Awww you missed me. I bet you say that to all the boys.” She rolled her eyes and chuckled. 

“What boys? ㅎㅎㅎ” Their messages came in quick succession, mixing Korean and English. 

“Really? You mean you don’t have boys chasing after you?” 

“I remember why I liked talking to so much. You flatter me constantly.” 

“It’s just so difficult to imagine that people might abandon you.” She scoffed and paused, feeling the effect of his message, letting it sink in. That statement meant a lot; it was something that she never thought someone would tell her. She debated how to respond but a thought stopped her in her tracks. Remembering her conversation with her friend a week or so ago, she reconsidered her reply. What he said was touching and she thought that she trusted him but she was reminded of how little she knew about him. She waited ten minutes. 

“You know, you never told me your name.” And she waited. She waited fifteen minutes more. 

“I know.” There was a pause and she knew he saw that she had read it instantly. “I never told you. I have a reason, I swear. I can’t tell you who I am.” Alarmed by his response she quickly replied. 

“Why can’t you tell me? It’s not like you’re famous or something.” She sent it. “Right?” She added. 

“Well, about that, …” Ivy put her phone down, locking it and pushing it to the side abruptly. What did he mean, ‘about that…’ ? He couldn’t mean- Surely not. Would she know him? If he wouldn’t tell her then he must be so well known that she would easily discover his identity. Or perhaps he knows that she already knows who he is but she doesn’t know that it’s him. She knows his name and face and career but she doesn’t know her pen pal is actually him. It’s possible. But what if all of this is jumping to conclusions. She hesitantly picked up her phone again. 

He continued. 

“I wish I could tell you everything but I’m afraid. I’m afraid of misplacing my trust and displeasing my company. I’m afraid of any of this causing any sort of news. I want to trust you but I have no way to be certain.” She put her now empty bowl in the sink and headed back to her room, staring at the screen of her phone. Sitting down on the edge of her bed, she began a reply. 

“I understand the situation. But how can I be certain that you are who you say you are if you don’t tell me anything about yourself?” And she waits, not even bothering to check other apps, she simply waits for his reply. 

“What if I could send you a picture? Enough to show you that I am who I say I am without showing my face?” She thought about it, that could work. After a moment of thinking, she arrived at a specific pose and replied. 

“Ok. Send me a picture of you holding up your left hand with all but your index and middle fingers extended.” After hitting send, she placed her phone down on her bed and laid back, staring at the ceiling. She was too nervous to try and think about who he could possibly be. She wondered but she didn’t search. Finally, her phone vibrated again and she immediately opened her phone, not wanting to see the preview of the message. She tapped the image.

The lighting wasn’t too great but she could see him just fine. He held a black binder in front of him, covering his face and neck. Messy, dark brown hair and the top his head could be seen. His hand was held in front of the book, fingers in place like she asked. She could see his shoulders and bare arms. The picture showed from his waist up. He seemed a little spindly for her usual taste but she didn’t choose him for his looks. No matter her own taste, he fit the appearance of a twenty something Korean man and did as she asked.   
“I had to wake up one of my roommates to take the picture. Is this enough?” He added with the photo. 

“For now.” She quickly added to her reply. “There may come a time when I want to know more, but for now, I can be satisfied.” 

“I knew you would understand ^_^” He continued in another text. “I really do wish I could tell you everything. I want to tell you so much.”

“Quit apologizing or I will get mad at you >:/ “ She knew he’d laugh at that. 

“I’m sorry please don’t be mad” She closed her eyes and laughed at his reply. Another text brought her attention back to her phone. “How do I know you are who you say you are?” She bit her lip and hurriedly went about taking a picture like his. Face covered, though she wouldn’t go to her sister to help her take the picture, she had to try and retry several times to get her desired image using one hand. And she sent it. 

“If I can’t see you, you can’t see me.” She set her phone to the side as she started up her laptop. She was just logging in to proofread her paper from the night before when she saw his reply. 

“You have pretty hands.” She giggled, holding her phone against her chest a moment. 

“My dad always said they were a musician’s hands but I never played music much.” 

“I wonder how big your hand would be in comparison to mine.” She thought a moment. 

“Send me a picture of your hand with another object for reference, like a pen or something.” She asked, picking up a ruler from a drawer on her desk. She measured her hand and took a picture of it beside the ruler. He sent his picture. His hand dwarfed the pen he held. Eyes a little wide, she sent her picture then checked her email. A few minutes later.   
“Your hands are so small and cute :3” Smiling and biting her lip, she typed a reply. 

“And your hands are giant.” Before she knew it, her mind wandered to how her hands might fit with his. For seconds, she thought about how his hands might feel. Realizing her mind’s detour, she shook her head and dismissed the idea. Why would she let herself get her hopes up like that? If he was as famous as he seemed to be then he probably had women lined up wanting to date him. Why would he ever be interested in her like that? She was a pen pal, a language exchange friend, and very little else to him. 

He thought about the same thing, how soft her hands might be, how they might look wrapped in his own. He thought to reply with some sentiment to reflect that daydream but he got lost in his own mind. In thinking so much about talking with her, holding her hands and the like, he fell asleep. 

But she didn’t know that.

Waiting for him to reply proved long. Her phone sat silently for over an hour and she resolved that he must have fallen asleep, so she went about her final midterm paper.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivy and her pen pal talk over a phone call when he wants some help with his pronunciation. She can’t quite put her finger on it but his voice sounds familiar. Nervous that she might be crushing on her pen pal, she discusses her anxieties with her friend June.

Time goes on. As it usually does. Weeks pass. They continue where they left off, talking every day when able to. Occasionally he wouldn’t be on for a week or so at a time, but now she worried less when he was away. Their language studies continued, although her own lessened because of how busy she was as the semester began to come to an end. 

One night though, well it was night time for him, he had some questions about pronunciation. As you can imagine, teaching pronunciation can be incredibly difficult via text.   
“This would be so much easier if we could talk to each other, like really talk. Can I just call you?” She finally asked. She could sense how unsure he was about it from the long wait before his reply. 

“What if you recognize my voice?” He said finally. It was the first time he’d talked about his celebrity identity in a long while. 

“Idk. I might but I might not. It’s up to you.” She said. “You don’t even have to talk, you could just listen to me.” And she waited while he thought it over. Alone in her room at home, she waited sitting on her bed, staring at her phone. She hated phone calls, why had she allowed this? Why had she initiated this? A new fear came over her. She didn’t know why. What could he even judge her by with just a phone call? How she stutters sometimes, how soft and quiet her voice is? She had nothing to be afraid of but anxiety still seized her chest when she saw the call come up on her screen. She didn’t think that he would but she swallowed her nervousness as best she could and picked up, placing him on speaker since she was alone. 

“ 여보세요?” She asked hesitantly, answering in Korean. A second passed.

“Yes. It’s me.” He answered and her heart felt like it might burst out of her chest. She wasn’t sure whether it was from making a phone call or from hearing his voice for the first time. 

“Hi.” She smiled, grateful he couldn’t see her stupid smiley face or know just how hot her cheeks had become since the call began. “So, you wanted help with your pronunciation.” And she sent herself into teacher mode. Occasionally he would repeat what she said but for the most part he was quiet. His pronunciation was fairly good, it just needed a little polishing here and there. Once she finished her explanations. “Was that everything that you needed help with?” 

“Yes. But could you talk to me more? In English?” His voice sounded deeper when he used English and vaguely familiar. She thought about it a moment.

“What do you want me to talk about?” 

“What is the weather like right now?” He asked and she got up and went to sit by the sliding glass door that looked out at her backyard.

“It’s warm today, about 70 degrees. There’s a light breeze and hardly a cloud in the sky. The perfect spring day. The sky is a gorgeous blue today, everything seems bright.” She paused, considering what to say next. “What’s it like where you are? Tell me in Korean.” 

“It was windy and cool but not cold. Clouds covered the sky all day but now, the sky is clear. If the lights of the city weren’t so bright, I would be able to see the stars.” His tone turned wistful and his voice softer than before. It made her smile as she looked up at the bright midday sky. 

“Are you staring up at the sky now?” She asked. She heard movement before his reply, as if he got up and walked a short distance, judging by his heavy footfalls.

“Yes.” He replied. It seemed as though she had been smiling since the call began.

“Then we’re both watching the sky at the same time.” She said, laying down by the window, staring out, her phone lying beside her head. He was quiet. “I wonder how many times that’s happened before.. .. . and we didn’t even know it.” She trailed off and they sat there looking up at the sky for a minute, quietly imagining they were with the other, that they could see what the other sees. Suddenly another voice interrupts them from his end then a great deal of nothing, just sounds of something rustling against his microphone. She could almost hear his voice and someone else but it sounded like she was listening to them through a wall. More movement from his end and she was sitting up staring at her phone in her hands. Should she say something? Is he still there? She hesitantly leaned her head closer to her phone and spoke. 

“Oppa? Are you there?” She’d begun calling him that after she asked him over a month before what she should call him, because she didn’t like calling him by his username all the time. Though she’d never said it out loud before. For a moment she thought she heard another voice speak. 

“Oppa? Who is that? Who is that on the phone?” She thought she heard them say, though she might have been wrong it happened very quickly, then all was quiet again. 

“You called me oppa.” She could almost hear the smile in his voice, followed by a few laughs. The laughs were short and quiet. 

“What? Don’t laugh at me. What else am I supposed to call you?” She complained, fighting a smile on her own face. 

“No, it’s cute. I like it. It sounds nice hearing you say it.” He said. She was quiet a moment. He liked it. What did he mean by that? He continued speaking before she could say anything. “I’m sorry about before, I didn’t know my friends would be home so early.” Pausing briefly he continued, “I should go to bed. All of them will be home soon and we have to get up early tomorrow.” 

“Okay. Good Night.” She said, her smile falling at the end of their call. 

“Good Night.” He replied, and the call ended. She laid back down on the floor, the sunlight flooding in the windows covering her. She sighed, staring out at the sky again. He liked her calling him ‘oppa’. 

He liked her calling him ‘oppa’. She smiled a little. She liked calling him ‘oppa’ because that’s what he was to her. A close friend, who happened to be a male who was a little older than her. That’s all it was, right? 

Looking up at the sky again, she began daydreaming. Did she really like him as just her friend? Was that really all she wanted? She wasn’t even sure. There were times when she was lonely, when she thought about how nice it would be to have someone to hold her hand or sleep beside her or just kiss her sadness away when she was feeling stressed.   
She wasn’t sure of anything. Normally, she would try to process these emotions on her own but today, she called her friend June. 

“Hello?” Her friend answered. 

“Hey.” Ivy’s voice was subdued, obviously still lost in her thoughts. 

“What’s going on? You never call me.” She always texted her friend, unless the message was time sensitive. This one wasn’t but she didn’t feel like typing everything.   
“I talked with him on the phone today.” 

“Really? How did it go?” June sounded eager to know. 

“It was really nice. I don’t know what I was expecting him to sound like but his voice does sound a little familiar. But that’s not really why I called.” She paused. “You know I usually call him oppa. I don’t really have any other name for him unless I want to say seoulboyxo all the time.” 

“Yeah, and?” 

“Well, I called him oppa during the phone call and he laughed.” She paused, halfway expecting her friend to laugh at the situation. She didn’t and Ivy continued. “Like it was a soft laugh, like when something nice or cute happens and you smile and giggle a little. Like I could hear the smile in his voice then he told me that he liked me calling him oppa.” 

“Okay. Good for you.” 

“The thing is though. Oppa is pretty frequently used by girls to their boyfriends. Do you think it’s possible that.. he might…” She trailed off. 

“Maybe. You guys seem awfully flirty sometimes, at least from what you talk to me about. It’s possible.” 

“But what if that’s just how I’m interpreting him though. He might not mean anything by it, except that he likes having me as a friend.” She added. 

“I don’t know,man. I think that you’re overthinking this. He says he likes you calling him something that most girls call their boyfriends, but also call their older brothers. But he has never even hinted at just wanting a sibling relationship with you, but he has hinted at wanting to have a more romantic relationship with you. He’s never talked about either outright but there is more evidence to support him leaning in towards romance. At least based on everything that you’ve told me about your conversations.” Her friend had a point. “Do you like him? Like in a romantical sort of way, I mean.” 

“I don’t know. I think I do but you can never be sure about these things. I could have a crush one day then be uninterested the next. It’s happened before.” 

“Have you ever been uninterested in talking to this guy?” 

“No, it’s always been so easy to talk to him. Well, aside from the massive time difference.” She smiled briefly.

“And you get sad and kind of irritable when you don’t talk to him for prolonged periods of time? You miss him when he’s gone for a day or more.” Her friend suggested.   
“Yeah. But what are you getting at? We’re friends.” Ivy shot back, she knew exactly where her friend was going with this.

“I’m saying that it’s okay to have a crush on him. You get little mini crushes on any moderately cute guy who looks your way. Remember that blond guy with the broad shoulders that held the door for you that time at the library? You had a dreamy look on your face the rest of the day.” June paused. “It’s okay if you want to have a crush on him and it’s okay if it just happens.” ‘So quit fighting it’ is what she wanted to say.

“The idea of someone liking me back at the same time I like them is just so strange and outlandish to me. Like I can’t imagine it ever happening and the thought that it might actually be happening is kind of terrifying.” Ivy confessed. 

“I know you probably don’t want to hear it but you are charming and sweet and smart and a total dork. He’d be an idiot not to have a crush on you.” 

“You’re right that was not really what I wanted to hear.” Ivy replied. 

“Okay, don’t believe me. But speaking from an outsider’s perspective, you seem pretty enamored already.” Both girls stayed silent for a few moments. 

“I don’t know why I’m worrying so much about this.” Ivy said finally. 

“The only advice I can give you on this, because you are almost definitely more experienced with relationships than I am, is to just let things happen. Try not to dwell on things too much and overthink it all. Let yourself feel whatever it is that you feel and don’t worry about meeting his expectations or even trying to define every little thought that enters your mind.” 

“Thank you.” Ivy said quietly. They were silent again for a few seconds. “Have you seen how pretty the sky is today?” 

“No, I hadn’t noticed.” 

Ivy smiled a little, a gentle, tired smile. 

“Well, I’ve got some homework that I should be getting onto.” June continued. “If that was all you wanted to talk about?” 

“Yeah. That was it. I’ll see you Thursday.” 

“Alright. Bye.” And June was gone. 

Ivy tried to relax, laying there on the carpeted floor. She tried to relax her mind. Stop worrying. Let herself think about her conversation with June and her conversation with him. She thought about him in a romantic way before but never for very long. There were only little passing daydreams of simple things. Driving down the road together in the summertime with the windows down. Showing him her tiny little hometown and all its quirks. Movie nights on the couch when her parents were away, complete with a running commentary on the film. She thought about what his smile might look like. Brilliant, probably. She knew he had big hands. She thought about how his hands might feel in hers, then she considered how his hand might feel against her cheek.   
She shook her head again. 

“No.” She said to herself. She thought about what he would do if he was there with her right then. He seemed like the type to play with her hair while he continually talked about how pretty the weather was and anything that it reminded him of. She caught herself smiling at the thought. “Is this really what I ever wanted to happen?” She wondered aloud.   
Is this what she signed up for when she decided to get a new pen pal? 

She wasn’t sure, but it’s what she had now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivy shares her plans for the future and accepts her feelings for her pen pal. She begins packing and has a chat with a friend about her feelings for her pen pal and her thoughts on the first big decision of her life.

Another month passes, May is just getting started and exams are around the corner. It’s time for Ivy to have a plan for her future, even if that plan is simply finding a job and working for a while. But that wasn’t her intention.

“I’ll be in Seoul by this time next month.” She told him. She had complained about exams being so tiring so he asked about her plans after the had her associate’s degree. She answered, though she didn’t think that he’d expected it. Waiting patiently for his reply, she listened to music as she laid back on her bed. 

He read the text and immediately reread it. He reread the text over and over again, in disbelief and shock. She would be here in less than a month. It made him want to shout for joy. 

She would be here! Here! He’d be able to see her face to face. He’d be able to see her and take her to dinner and show her all the things that he loves and just maybe finally tell her something important.

He stood up and started dancing, the smile on his face was nearly hurting him. Kyungsoo walked in, upon seeing his friend in such a mood, he casually retreated with a laugh or two under his breath. 

“She was going to come here!” He thought. “In less than a month. That was really soon.” His dancing slowed, until he sat down again staring at his phone. Suddenly a wave of nervousness came over him and he was at a loss of what to do, but only for a moment. Twenty minutes had passed since her message when he replied. 

“Aww, are you coming all that way for me?” He joked. She laughed and replied.

“I have more reasons to come to Korea than to see you >:p” 

“Really? I always thought I was the most interesting thing about Korea to you.” 

“Not quite the most interesting thing.” She said.  
“You do want to see me when you come?” He was worried a little that she might not want to meet him, an irrational fear but a fear nonetheless. 

“Of course I do. It’s one of the most exciting and nerve wracking things about going.” She continued. “I’m really excited.” 

“Me too.” He added. “We should have dinner together when you get here.” He hoped that she might reply with more things she’d like to do, but then again, she wasn’t the type to come right out and say anything. He knew this. “Or I could show you some of my favorite places.” He bit his lip, nervous though he knew she would say yes.

“That would be wonderful. I could get a free, exclusive tour by a Seoul native.” She smiled at her phone as she sat in front of her desk. She should be studying but instead she was spending her precious free time texting her, self proclaimed, “favorite dork.” 

“Free? Who said anything about free?” While she chuckled at his message, he was thinking about what his price was, and whether he was willing to admit it to her or not.   
“What’s the price then?” In hindsight she probably should have seen his reply coming but at the moment, she didn’t think about it. 

“A date with me.” 

Her cheeks heated up and she could feel her heart speed up. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she set her phone down on her lap as she looked away. Since their phone call, she’d thought of little else than school work and her response to him should that very question arise. Even though her answer had been rehearsed a dozen different ways and it was such a simple response, it was still a little scary to press send. 

“Deal.” Her fears would have been significantly eased if she was able to see his reaction when he read the text. He jumped up off his seat and walked around the entire apartment with his hands on his cheeks before stopping to reply.

“How long until you arrive?” She glanced at her countdown, even though she knew already.

“I leave in 26 days.” He checked his calendar. So she was arriving on the 29th of this month, he checked his schedule. He might be busy for a few days surrounding the 29th, but surely he could find some time, even just for dinner with her. But he was packed for the rest of the month, mostly practice sessions for the new comeback but maybe, just maybe he could find a way to get out of it for one evening. He wasn’t exactly thinking straight, his joy at the thought of seeing her face and letting her know who he is clouding his judgement. 

“I’m going to countdown the days until I see your face.” Upon reading his latest text, she stood up, taking the few steps to her bed and let herself fall over onto her comforter. Not even trying to suppress her giggles, she wiggled around on her bed, surely ruining the neat, smooth surface that she preferred. She reread the text over and over, unable to do anything but smile for a solid ten minutes. Unable to stop herself, she started daydreaming about how their first meeting might go. Would she recognize him? What would she wear? What would he wear? Lost in her mind for another ten minutes, she was startled by another text from him. “Have you started packing yet?” 

“No. I was busy working on some things for my final exams but I decided that I’d rather talk to you.” 

“Awww I feel so loved.” 

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“So, you still don’t know who he is?” Hope asked lying across Ivy’s bed. She had come over for the afternoon to hang out, though this time it was mostly watching Ivy sit on her floor in front of her mostly empty suitcase debating on whether she should pack certain things or not. 

“Nope. He hasn’t told me.” Ivy replied, picking up a pair of sweaters and situating them in her suitcase. 

“Aren’t you worried that he’ll be some psycho preying on innocent foreign girls?” Hope asked. Ivy rolled her eyes when Hope wasn’t looking. 

“I have thought about that, yes.” She answered. “But I have a good feeling about this.” A minute or two pass as Ivy goes through a stack of t-shirts. 

“You know, you should really have a passcode on your phone.” Hope commented with Ivy’s phone in her hands. “He sent you a message. Should I read it to you?” Ivy scoffed and went back to her pile of clothes. 

“No. I’ll reply later.” She said, refolding a shirt. 

“You guys are so cute.” Hope said, Ivy’s phone still in her hand. 

“Stop reading those.” Ivy said, setting the clothes on her lap. 

“Why? Do you guys get really flirty? Like dirty?” Hope joked. Ivy laughed.

“No. We’ve started flirting a lot but nothing dirty.” She paused a second. “Stop looking at those.” 

“Alright. I only read what was already on the screen.” Hope set her friend’s phone down again. “So, you really like him then? You’re like in love with him?” Ivy could tell her friend was joking but some of it was still serious. 

“I’m in like with him. I just really like him. I think he really likes me too.” Ivy stopped her actions again to smile and stare off into space for a few seconds. With a sigh, her hands went back to work refolding. A quiet pause passed. “Are you sure you’re okay coming with me for the first week?” 

“Of course I’m sure. One of my best friends is moving all the way across the world to go to school in a foreign country. I’m going with her, at least for a little while.” She smiled. Ivy smiled back. 

“The first week is mostly going to be hunting for a place to live, shopping, with a little sightseeing, and of course my placement interview at the university. Rather eventful but also not.” Ivy said.

“And we can’t forget about whatever his name is. He wants to meet you awful bad, doesn’t he?” 

“Yeah,” She paused and smiled, “I don’t know I’m going to be so busy and probably jetlagged. But I’ll see him whenever he wants to meet.” 

“What if he wants to meet at 2AM?” Her friend asked. 

“Then, I will have to politely decline because I don’t stay up late or wake up that early for anyone.” She laughed. Looking back at her suitcase, she held up a sweater to her friend.

“Take it or leave it?” 

“Mmm. Take it. You’re not going to need it for a while but it’ll be nice to have when winter rolls around.” Ivy rolled the sweater and placed it in her luggage. 

“I love how you assume I’m going to be there long enough to see winter.” Ivy commented. 

“Why wouldn’t I? I thought you were going to stay for a couple years.” Hope sat up to look at her friend. 

“I am, but my parents are hoping I’ll be back as soon as possible. Or better yet, just not go.” She picked through another stack of tops. “I’m ready to get out. Get out of this town, country, out of my parents’ reach so I can experience life on my own for a while.” Stopping her work, she looked up and continued. “I just want to be able to live on my own and experience things, you know. I want an adventure.” 

“You are one of the most cautious and anxious people I know.” Hope pointed out. 

“I know but the idea is to make myself experience things. I know I’m going to be terrified of everything for a while but it’s the best way to learn. By doing the things that scare you. By experience. And if I have to go halfway around the world just to feel alive then it’ll be worth it.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivy departs for Korea with her good friend Hope and they embark on a rather uneventful first day.

She didn’t think that she’d cry when it happened. I mean, she suspected that she would but she also thought that she’d be able to control herself enough, at least until she was out of sight of her parents. The airport was as busy as ever on this Thursday morning in May and Ivy was shaking. Her hands couldn’t stay still and she was sure that the trembling in her body was obvious to anyone looking on. It wasn’t but the feeling of it only added to her nervousness. She was sure that this was what she wanted to do but she still felt this nagging feeling that she should stay with her family, stay with what made her comfortable. But she had Hope to join her during this first week away, the first week of this big change. 

The entire drive to the airport, she was shaking and clinging to the sound of the radio to keep her mind from wandering. This will be a good thing. Everything worthwhile seems scary and intimidating at some point. This will be worthwhile. The more she told herself this, the better she felt. It was a complicated emotion, wanting to flee and wanting to stay at the same time.

Her mother was in tears by the time they reached the point to say goodbye. Ivy couldn’t count the number of hugs her parents gave both her and Hope, but she was determined not to show her tears where her mom could see. She made it into the line for the security checkpoint when she let them out with a smile and a laugh. Hope smiled at her, instantly understanding her friend’s sudden display. 

“You okay?” She asked. Ivy just nodded and wiped her tears on the backs of her hands, laughing again. 

“Yeah. I just really hate crying in public.” Ivy blinked quickly and shook her head, trying to clear the emotion from her mind. She was entering a new era, a new chapter.   
Her first adventure. Her first big decision. Her first time out completely on her own. 

By the time the plane took off she was ready, the rising plane filling her with determination. This could be one of the best decisions she ever makes but she won’t know until she lives it.

The flight was long and she wanted nothing more than to curl up and sleep somewhere after being stuck in a flying metal tube for nearly 23 hours. Thank God she had Hope with her, otherwise she likely would have gotten turned around and spent considerably more time than necessary in the airport. Hope knew literally no Korean so she had to rely on her friend, her very shy, quiet friend. But together they managed to get a taxi. Instead of trying to tell the cab driver the address of their hotel, she hastily wrote it out in Korean. Ivy took a picture of the street outside on the way to their hotel. Sending it to him, she wrote. 

“Guess who just landed ;D” 

As they were pulling up to their hotel, she received his reply. 

“Tell me about everything as it happens. I want to know what you think about everything.” She shoved her phone into her pocket as they got their things and paid the driver.   
Once in the safety and solitude of their hotel room, Hope collapsed on the bed with a loud groan while Ivy went over to the window, looking down at the street below. They both sighed. Ivy sat down on the edge of the bed, not allowing herself to flop over like her friend did. It was noon and they needed to get on Korean time now. 

“Let’s take a little time to freshen up, wash our face and brush out teeth, maybe change. Then let’s go get lunch. I have some things I should go ahead and do and get out of the way. Okay?” Ivy proposed. Hope groaned again.

“Okay. You can use the bathroom first. I’ll just take a few more minutes to sit here.” She muttered. Ivy rolled her eyes.

“You’re not going to sleep this week away. Don’t fall prey to jet lag.” She started walking to the bathroom. “I will jump on the bed to wake you up.” She stepped into the bathroom and texted her mom, letting her know the flight went well and they were taking care of themselves. After washing her face and changing into some new clothes she leaned against the bathroom counter to text him again. 

“I’m at our hotel now. Everyone I’ve met so far has been very nice and helpful. I’m tired but excited to get out on the street and do things. I think my friend is asleep though. She fell over on the bed when we got here.” She sent it. He was probably busy about that time but he’d read it eventually. She returned to the main room and Hope was still laid out on the bed, lying on her stomach. Ivy tried gently calling her name and shaking her shoulder but no response. She jumped up and down on the edge of the bed and called her name a little louder but her friend only shifted her position and grumbled a little. 

“You’ll feel better if you wash up and walk around for a while.” Ivy told her friend. No response. “Aren’t you hungry?” Hope opened one eye to look up at Ivy. Ivy smiled and nodded. “I’m hungry for some actual food after that plane ride.” Hope sighed and rolled over. 

“What did you have in mind for lunch?” Hope asked as she sat up and yawned. 

“Well, we’re right near Hongdae so I figured we could walk around and pick a place that looks good.” Hope thought over her friend’s idea a few seconds. 

“Alright. Give me like fifteen minutes to clean up a little.” She stood up and went into the bathroom. 

 

Their afternoon was tiring, though they were already tired when it began. She continually updated him on what she thought of everything, even how embarrassed she felt when she choked up the first time someone spoke to her in Korean and she stuttered through a reply. Now, she and her friend were each sitting comfortably in their own beds in the hotel room with their laptops in front of them, music playing softly from Ivy’s phone. It was close to ten at night when he texted her again. She had been waiting up for him to reply, while her friend had just closed her laptop and laid down to sleep for the night. 

“I’m back! Why did you freak out? You speak Korean well.” He said. 

“But I’m afraid of getting something wrong when I’m speaking to native speakers.” 

“You’re not like that with me.” He pointed out.

“You’re different.” She countered, shifting to lay on her stomach. 

“I stutter when I speak English too.” 

“But not with me?” 

“No. You’re different.” He replied, smiling at his phone. 

“So, did you still want to meet this week?” She asked. A few minutes passed before he replied. 

“My schedule changed. I can’t see you this week :(“ She visibly slouched when she read his message. Rolling over onto her side, she contemplated a reply.   
“ Oh :( that’s a shame.” She didn’t know what else to say. 

“I know I’m amazing but that’s no reason to cry. Please don’t be sad. I’ll find time to see you soon.” 

“I’m so nervous about meeting you though, maybe a few more days won’t be so bad.” She confessed.

“Do you still want to meet me?” He asked hesitantly, afraid that she might be changing her mind. 

“Yes! Of course I do, but I’m also a little afraid because I still don’t know who you are and you’ve never really seen me.” What was she afraid of? That he wouldn’t find her pretty enough or think that she doesn’t look like how he thought she looked. 

“It will be a little weird going from a name on a screen to a person standing in front of me but I think we can manage the shift. Right?” 

“Right.” She replied and locked her phone, not intending to nod off but she did nonetheless, her lack of energy finally catching up.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivy begins her classes. He knows that the both of them are getting frustrated about not having the time to meet so he gives her a little surprise. And one afternoon, out of the blue, she gets a text from him.

A week passes. 

Ivy went to her placement interview and was placed in a Korean class a level higher than she expected. She found a room that was only an eight to ten minute walk to the university. She moved in and her friend left. After a week full of sightseeing, wanting to get the really touristy things out of her system first, she was ready to settle into life in Seoul. They had visited the palace and Seoul Tower and went to markets. They even went to a club for the first time. But eventually the time came for Hope to go back home and Ivy to begin what she went there to do in the first place. 

The first day of classes arrived and Ivy was a bundle of nerves. She was ready before she needed to be. She ate breakfast in her room, her tiny little goshiwon room. Thankfully she was able to find a goshiwon room within her price range that included a private bathroom and shower. It was nearly perfect for her situation. If only she could calm down a little about her first day in classes. After checking her phone for the possibly hundredth time that morning, she decided that she ought to begin her walk to school. With one last look in the mirror, she gave herself a smile and a nod and she exited the room. She didn’t pass anyone on her way down the stairs or while she retrieved her shoes from her locker on the ground floor. 

Her walk was uneventful but memorable. She wanted to remember everything about that day, everything about every moment she had there. Her messenger bag patted against her side as she made the trip to the university, then to her building. She’d already been by the building to see where the room was, so she walked right to it and inside. 

She felt a little behind the other students, but only a little. Most of them already knew each other from taking the previous levels together and Ivy was once again the outsider. Smiling through the awkward introductions and stuttering her way through full sentences, she made it through in one piece. She had some extra work to catch up on so she could keep up with the others but she left her classes, filled with determination. 

That night, she talked to him about everything that happened in class and how she already had homework. He listened to her ramble on about how excited she was. The truth was, he loved that she was so excited and enthusiastic. It was cute. He had suggested that he might be able to see her that first week of classes but it seemed like he wouldn’t be able to see her that week either. 

“I’m so sorry :( I really want to see you but I just can’t find time to spare from preparing for our next come back.” He texted her. She thought a minute about her response as she laid on her bed, phone held above her face. 

“I understand but. . . . :/ I really want to meet you already.” She sent her message, but instantly felt bad. Thinking it sounded a little selfish, she shook her head as she scolded herself. ‘Why would you say that? You sound so needy and impatient. He probably feels bad enough.’ She wanted to hit herself for speaking so thoughtlessly.   
“Can I show you something?” His new text drew her attention again. 

“Okay.” She replied quickly, curious about his vague message. Next thing she knew he was calling her. “What is it you wanted to show me?” She answered, laying on her side with her phone lying on the side of her face. 

“Well, I wanted to play something for you and I figured it would be better if I called instead of sending an audio file.” His voice sounded nervous and unsure but she was sure he had a smile on his face. 

“I’m listening.” She replied, very interested. No one had ever serenaded her before. 

“Okay.” He cleared his throat and she could hear him strum a guitar. “I started this song recently and it’s not finished but I really wanted to share it with you. Think of it as something to tide you over until I can see you... because I’m just as frustrated as you are. Anyway-” He stopped himself and started playing the guitar again. “It’s for you.” He paused speaking for a moment and began singing. She couldn’t remember or understand everything that the song said but her eyes still watered and she put a hand over her mouth. She could understand enough to know that this song was about loving someone from afar, someone you’ve never really known, though what happened as a result of that love was beyond her skill level. Nevertheless, she was nearly crying. He only played for close to a minute and a half before he paused. 

“What do you think?” He asked. She took a deep breath and wiped her face before putting him on speaker and rolling over onto her stomach. 

“I wish you could see my face.” She wiped her eyes again. “I’m on the edge of tears. No one has ever done anything like that for me before.” 

“I really like you.” He blurted out. She leaned her head down beside her phone on her pillow. 

“I like you too.” She returned. 

“Would it be too weird if I wished I could kiss you right now?” He asked and she nearly dropped her phone. A few moments passed as she silently giggled at his question. 

“Not at all.” She rolled over to lay on her back, the phone beside her head on the pillow. 

“I wish I was there to kiss you.” He said, a wistful tone to his voice. She was glad he couldn’t see her at that moment because she was still trying to recover from his song and had her hands on her cheeks. 

“Well, I’ve come thousands of miles across the world to be here. We don’t have much further to go.” She commented, staring dreamily up at the ceiling.

“Just a few more days. I’ll find time to see you.” 

“That’s what you’ve been saying for almost two weeks now.” She countered. 

“I know, but I have to mean it sometime, right? I mean it.” 

“You really mean it this time?” She asked, head turned toward her phone. 

“I mean it. Just a few more days.” 

“A few more days.” She repeated, though she doubted he would be able to get away if he was preparing for a new comeback. 

 

She was going on her third full week in Korea and at least three days since the night he shared the song. He had since sent her a simple little recording of it, as much of it as he performed for her that night. She’d listened to it a few times since then, everyday, whenever she thought about him and meeting him. 

Today in class she was paired with another classmate and they would have to perform a conversation in front of the class together sometime in the next week. She was paired with a guy from Germany, who thankfully spoke English well. His name was Erich and he was tall, blond, and broad shouldered, and an excellent student. He was nice enough and was definitely one of the better partners she could have been paired with. As the class came to a close for the day, he approached her. 

“Would you want to start on the script today? We could get lunch and work on it.” He asked her in English. 

“Yeah, sure. That way we can get it done and start memorizing it.” She nodded and gathered her books. She didn’t have any plans for the afternoon. That she knew of. 

She entered the elevator with Erich when she got the text. 

“What are you doing for lunch?” 

“Today?” She shot back quickly. He read it immediately.

“You’re out of class now right?” 

“Yes.”

“Do you want to get lunch with me?” She sucked in a breath and glanced at Erich. She took a couple seconds to consider it. 

“Okay. Where did you want to meet?” She replied and locked her phone, turning to her classmate as they stepped out of the elevator. 

“I’m so sorry. Something has come up and I can’t work on the script this afternoon.” She paused, biting her lip. “Could we both write our parts of the script and compare over lunch tomorrow?” He seemed a little confused but he was an amiable person. 

“Okay. Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiled and continued walking away, out of the building. She checked her phone again. 

“I’m at your university. Where are you?” Her heart dropped. He was here. She was going to meet him in a matter of minutes. She thought over her outfit, her makeup, her entire appearance. She could have put forth so much more effort that morning but no, she pulled on a long dress and pulled her hair up in a messy bun. Biting her lip again, she replied.

“The Korean Language Education Center. Big brick building on the south-west side of campus.” She stepped outside and glanced around as she walked over to a bench. Sitting, she sent another text. “I’m sitting outside, near the main entrance.” After checking her hair and face in the camera on her phone, and briefly scolding herself for only putting on BB cream that morning, she started looking around. Who could he even be? He changes his hair frequently for his job and she has no real measure of his height or body shape. She’s never even seen his face. 

“What are you wearing today?” He asked, the vibration of her phone startling her. 

“Long flowered dress and a green jacket.” She told him. Choosing this time to stare at her phone, she was too nervous to look up and see someone searching for her. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was hoping and praying the whole time that no one would recognize him and ruin this whole day. He was lucky to find this time to get away and he wasn’t about to waste it. Her directions weren’t perfect, considering he was on the opposite end of campus and refused to speak to anyone to ask where the KLEC building was, for fear of being recognized. He found a building that he thought might be it but he wasn’t sure about which way was the south-west side of campus. He walked closer to the entrance and glanced around. He stopped in his tracks when he saw her sitting over on a stone bench, all alone. His heart felt like it might explode. This is what he’d been waiting for, right? Why did he feel so light headed? He took a deep breath but instead of walking to her, he turned around and took a few steps in the opposite direction. He needed to calm himself, he back and forth between two spots for a minute or so, continuously looking over at her. Suddenly she looked up, glancing around for a few seconds before going back to nervously fidgeting with her phone. He slid his own phone into his pocket and stared off ahead of him. He took one more deep breath, attempting to calm his breathing, and turned to walk towards her.

Slowly he made his way to her bench. Along the way, he admired her. The way she sat, ankles crossed and hands folded in her lap while holding her phone. The way some of her hair was falling out of her sloppily, and likely hastily, made bun. She wasn’t looking up or around at all. Had she seen him already walking over and chosen to ignore him? Surely not, he told himself, though it wasn’t very convincing. She was so close now. ‘Here we go.’ He thought to himself.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

After a few minutes of fiddling with her phone she felt someone standing in front of her.

“Ivy?” He asked. Oh goodness, his voice sounded even better in person. She looked up at him. A white mask covered half his face and he wore a snapback. He was taller than she expected. He wore shorts because of the early June heat and a loose button down shirt open over another shirt. She was nearly looking straight up, he was so tall. “I’m seoulboyxo.” Suddenly unsure of what she should do, she stood up and held out a hand. She was sure she looked like a deer in the headlights when he first spoke to her but she quickly replaced her shock with a welcoming smile as he put his hand in hers, her small hand in comparison. 

“Hi.” She said, a little breathless. Finally looking at his face, well the upper half of his face, she stared. A moment passed and she was sure he said something but she didn’t hear him. Her heart thudded in her chest even louder than before and her expression of shock returned as she recognized him. 

“Hi.” He returned. His hand was firm around hers and softer than she expected. Seeing the shock in her wide eyes and not wanting to let her go yet, he pulled off one side of his mask with his free hand, pulling the whole mask off. He bit his lip, waiting for her response. She glanced away, hand still in his. 

“You’re. . . EXO.” She looked up at him again. 

“I told you I was famous.” He smiled. Oh God, his smile was even more enchanting in person. She had to swallow and remind herself to breath. 

“I know but I didn’t think you’d be. . .” She trailed off. 

“You’re not unhappy, are you?” His smile disappeared momentarily. 

“No!” She rejected the thought. “It’s just a surprise. It’s kind of a lot to wrap my head around.” 

“Should I introduce myself?” He asked, his smile returned. She stayed quiet so he took it upon himself. “안녕하세요. 박찬열 입니다. My name is Park Chanyeol.” And there it was, there was no denying it now. 

“I know who you are.” She said. 

“I know you do. I remember you saying that you liked EXO that first time we talked, before you knew I was a KPop idol.” Goodness he knows about everything doesn’t he. 

“You still wanted to talk to me and meet me even though you knew I was a fan?” 

“Of course. You know me, not EXO’s Chanyeol. Though I suppose you know both now. If you didn’t know who I was until you already cared about me then, I would know you weren’t in this just for who I am on stage.” He paused, looking down at their hands still clasped together. “Besides, I like you.” She never imagined she’d hear that from those lips. A few silent seconds rolled by.

“What made you think that a mask and a hat was a suitable disguise?” She scolded him, finally removing her hand from his. “You’re on a college campus. Are you an idiot?” She wanted to hit him for being so careless. He laughed and put his mask back on. 

“How else was I supposed to meet you?” 

“I don’t know. Discreetly, a little cafe somewhere. Certainly not a place as public and open as this.” She glanced around. They were quiet a moment, while he looked at her and she looked away. “So, lunch? Did you have anywhere specific in mind?” Her question brought him back to reality. 

“Oh, yeah. I know a place. We can walk there.” He looked out around the area as well, while she picked up her messenger bag. 

“Lead the way.” She said, gesturing to him. They walked together, side by side, down the street and around a few alleys to a little restaurant hidden between two much larger buildings. 

“It’s nothing special but it’s quiet and secluded. I thought you would appreciate it.” He said as they sat down. 

“I do. Thank you.” She smiled, surprised he would think about that when choosing a restaurant. Most people didn’t think about her comfort when they went out, much less dates.   
The restaurant was a family owned place, all the food was cooked with love. The staff were all children of the owners and very friendly. Chanyeol, while he could be shy, didn’t seem to know a stranger when he interacted with the staff. You would think he’d known them for years, but when she asked him about it, he confessed he had only been there twice before. The interior was mostly light colored wood, with old photos framed on every wall. 

They talked and laughed, probably too loud for the staff’s liking but there wasn’t really anyone else in the restaurant. Before they knew it, it was almost three thirty in the afternoon and they had been there for almost two hours, mostly just talking. But as the time was going on four o’clock, they decided that it might be best if they leave. As they stepped back out into the summer heat, she had the idea that they stop for ice cream, partly out of a desire for ice cream but mostly out of a desire to find something else to do together. They stopped by an ice cream shop for a treat and kept walking back in the direction of a park about a ten minute walk from her place and a twenty minute walk from the college. Sitting down on a bench under a tree, they set about eating their half melted ice cream. If the heat itself wasn’t uncomfortable, then the humidity was. Ice cream helped though, as did good company and a light breeze. 

As shocked as she was when she first saw him, now that they’d spent half an afternoon together, she couldn’t imagine him as anyone else. He was entirely who she expected and she could feel the feelings she had for him solidify in her. He was something special. He caught her staring at him. 

“What is it?” He chuckled out his question. 

“Nothing. I just-” She considered telling him what she was just thinking but instead talks about her ice cream. “I think red bean ice cream is growing on me. I’d never tried it before but I like it.” She took another bite of her ice cream. He just smiled at her and looked out at the park again. His mask was discarded in his pocket, it had been for a while at that point. He noticed a girl and her friend talking closely with each other while repeatedly glancing their way. Chanyeol leaned up and looked to Ivy, his hand reaching into his pocket for his mask. 

“Let’s keep walking.” He suggested, glancing back at the girls. There were four now and they had phones in their hands. Ivy followed his gaze and nodded, understanding immediately. 

“Okay. Let’s go.” As if it was a normal occurrence, she stood up with him and walked to a trashcan and dropped her cup and napkin in the bin. She gave him a smile, meant to reassure him that she was fine with it, with having to get up and walk away because of fans. She could tell he was nervous from the girls’ sudden appearance so she playfully decided to bump against him with her shoulder. He laughed and walked even closer to her as they began to exit the park. Their hands brushed repeatedly and Ivy would let her hand nearly slide into his then just as quickly, remove it, a sly smirk on her face. It was so cute to her, how frustrated he was getting and how badly he was trying to conceal it. His hand made a move, quickly reaching out to grab hers but she increased her pace and glanced back at him with a smile. 

“Can’t keep up?” She joked, still walking. Laughing, he rushed forward to grab her hand and she sidestepped him. “You’re going to have to try harder than that.” His expression grew more determined, smile still in place as he looked her over. They stood there for several seconds staring at each other, then he made his move. He didn’t go for her hand but rather her waist, picking her up just a few inches off the ground. Laughing, she clung to his shoulders. “No. No. No. Put me down.” 

“Will you hold my hand?” He had to fight his own laughter. 

“Yes. Yes. Put me down.” Her feet returned to the paved walkway. 

“Good, because I couldn’t hold you up much longer. You’re so heavy.” He reached for her hand but she punched him in the arm first. She let him take her hand in his as they continued toward the edge of the park. They were so busy glancing back and forth at each other, they didn’t see the group of girls had followed them and beat them to the street corner where they were headed. Chanyeol already had his mask back on but it was a little late for that. Unfortunately the group had doubled in size to ten or so girls. But if they were going to leave the park, they had to walk past them. Ivy squeezed his hand and turned her head from the girls as she and Chanyeol hurried past. 

“Chanyeol oppa? It is you isn’t it? It is you. Chanyeol oppa? Who is she? Who is that? What are you doing with her?” Their questions were quick and repeated many times at a volume entirely undesired by both Ivy and Chanyeol. It was unnerving to Ivy when the girls were so close to her and so vocal. 

“She’s my friend. Please be kind to her.” He said as the two of them continued past the girls.The couple hastened their pace but the girls began to follow. 

“Where are you staying?” He asked Ivy. “I’ll take you home.” 

 

“It’s closer to the university, about a ten to fifteen minute walk from here.” She explained. He made a decision within a few steps.

“I have a car waiting on the other side of the uni, we can take a cab there and I’ll drive you back.” Hands still clasped together, he used his free hand to hail a taxi. They were quiet in the confines of the cab. After their hands disconnecting while they entered the taxi, he looked down to see her hand shaking. He glanced up at her face. She was biting her upper lip and fidgeting with her phone in her other hand. As soon as his hand touched hers again, she looked at him and the lip biting stopped. He wasn’t sure what to say, so he just smiled and put both his hands over hers. “I’m sorry about that. It’s one of the hazards of the job.” His smile relaxed and began fading. “They can be rather. . .” he chose his words carefully, “energetic. I’m so sorry that happened.” Once again, she’s surprised by him. No one takes her anxiety into that much consideration, her own parents don’t check on her like that. But he’s asked her if she was comfortable in a restaurant and if she was comfortable ordering her own ice cream. When her hand was shaking, he took it in hers and gave her a smile. His kindness and consideration was almost as strange as revealing his identity or those girls showing up. It was nearly as unnerving as well. 

“I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me like that.” She gave him a smile. “It’s just been a lot to process today. I’ll be fine.” 

“I thought you were fine?” He asked, slightly concerned. 

“Just give me a day or so and I’ll be fine. I can deal with this.” He watched her face as she spoke. “I just need to process all of this. You and fans and your career. I honestly don’t know what I was expecting when you asked to meet me for lunch today. I had no idea that you would be this- ... celebrity. I’ll come around to it.” She nodded, trying to assure him she still liked him. He was about to speak when the cab came to a stop. With a swipe of his card, they exited the vehicle and resumed walking on the street, following him to his car. 

“Do you still want to go on a date with me?” He asked, glancing down at her. 

“Yes.” She answered firmly and swiftly. “I haven’t thought about going back on that once.” She glanced up to see a smile return to his face. He showed her to the car, opening the door for her and everything. She told him where to go. As the car began to pull out onto the road again, she had a thought. “Were you at all surprised by seeing me for the first time?” He glanced at her quickly, a goofy grin appearing again. He looked so much better when he smiled like that. 

“Of course I was. I saw you from a distance and had to walk away to calm myself down enough to talk to you. I was so nervous because you seemed so pretty, even from a distance.” 

“That’s what took you so long to walk up to me? I was too pretty?” She chuckled. 

“Well, in my defense you were sitting in a very pretty way as well. It looked like an effortless sort of pretty.” She just kept laughing, only pausing to point out where he should pull over. 

“You flatter me constantly, that in itself is worth at least one more date.” She commented, as she gathered her bag, ready to exit the car. 

“So, dinner next time?” He asked. She nodded with a smile left over from her previous bout of laughter. “I’ll take you somewhere nice next time, where people won’t interrupt us.” 

“Okay.” 

He thought about their conversation over the phone a few nights before. 

‘Would it be too weird if I wished I could kiss you right now?’ He dismissed the thought, now wasn’t right. But he still wanted to think about it. 

“Well, I ought to go. I still have homework to do. Text me when you find time to have dinner.” She moved to open the door. 

“It will likely be late in the evening, so eat a late lunch.” He added. 

“So, you’ll give me a warning next time?” She joked. 

“Maybe.” His smile made her not want to leave but he probably had other things he needed to do and she certainly had a pile of homework waiting for her. 

“I’ll see you then.” She said, hesitating ever so briefly before exiting the car. 

“Okay. I’ll see you.” He watched her walk up to the glass doors of the building and disappear inside. Picking up his phone he texted his manager. “What’s our schedule like next week?”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivy tells her friend about meeting her pen pal. Ivy and Chanyeol set up a dinner date and feel a little awkward in an upscale restaurant. Ivy is faced with a decision.

At the moment and the few brief moments after he watched her walk inside, away from him, Chanyeol forgot the comeback the following week. All he could think about was when he could see her again. Even after he thought he was fine, after he had finally met her and his pulse had slowed, she managed to rile him up again. Throughout the afternoon his heart felt like it was on a rollercoaster. As soon as he felt calm, he would look at her and she would smile or say something and he would be nervous again. There was a comfort about her presence, like he didn’t need to talk or fill the silence even though it was their first date. He already knew so much about her. They already had inside jokes. He already held her hand, soft and slender in his own. He could still feel her hand in his. He could still feel how she clung him when he picked her up, how she laughed with her mouth by his ear. It was addicting. He replayed the afternoon in his mind over and over as he drove away. 

Once inside her sardine can of a room, she dropped her bag and crawled onto her bed, laying down on her back with her hands folded and resting on her stomach. Ivy bit her lip and took a deep breath. 

‘So that was him’ She thought. She wanted to talk to someone about it but who would she talk to, who would believe her. Assuming her sister believed her, she couldn’t be trusted to keep her mouth shut, besides she isn’t the best when it comes to romantic advice. She wasn’t about to talk to her mom. She mulled over the thought for a moment, before picking up her phone, holding it above her face. Deciding to message Hope, she opened her text messages. 

“So I met him today.” Send. And wait. 

“You realize it’s like the middle of the night for me right?” Her friend responded in around two minutes. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t wake you up did I?” Ivy apologized.

“No, I was still awake. So what was he like? Was he hot or nah” 

“Oh he was hot but you won’t believe me if I tell you who he is.”

“why?” Her friend quickly added, “it’s not like he’s anyone crazy famous right?” She had told her friend about his stardom when he told her several months before.   
“well… I’m pretty sure you know who he is.” Ivy started to chew on her fingernail after she sent the message. 

“so he’s a member of BTS? bc you know that’s the only kpop I have the time to keep up with.” Hope was right, she didn’t keep up with many other kpop groups, or any other kpop groups really. 

“He’s in EXO.” Ivy explained. 

“am I supposed to guess who he is?” Ivy stared at her response to her friend for a minute or two before sending it.   
“He’s Park Chanyeol.” Her friend responded after a few minutes. 

“no way. there’s no way.” Followed by, “do you have pictures?”

“No. At the moment I wasn’t thinking ‘oh I should get a picture of him so my friends will believe me later.’ ” Although she expected disbelief, Ivy was a little annoyed that her friend didn’t believe her. 

“Ok, no reason to get snippy. What was it like?” 

Ivy thought a moment about her reply. 

“He texted me out of the blue, asking to have lunch. So I cancelled my lunch plans and waited around for him. He seemed almost as nervous as I was. Then we walked to a little restaurant and had lunch. He is so funny and oh my goodness his laugh is just as adorable in real life. We were there for at least a couple hours then we walked some more to go get ice cream. We had ice cream in the park and held hands as we left. He left me outside my goshiwon and we’re hopefully going to have dinner next week. So, yeah.. Pretty nice.” A few minutes went by and Ivy rolled over onto her side, still lying on her bed. 

“Too nice. Are you sure this date happened? It sounds like something out of a fan fiction or one of those dreams you have.” 

“Ikr. Looking back it doesn’t even seem real but it actually happened.” She hit send and looked at her hand. She could still feel his hand in hers. Smiling, she remembered how easily he slid an arm around her waist and picked her up. 

His hands meeting her side and sliding around her back to pull her in against him. The heat from his body and the strength in his arms. His smile. His laugh. The scent of his cologne. His arms lingering around her. If she had looked into his face at that moment, would she have been tempted to kiss him? Would he have kissed her? Would his lips have been as soft as she imagined? His lips. Would they taste of the sweet vanilla ice cream that had just passed them by?

She shook her head as if to shake away the daydream. 

“I had homework.” She reminded herself. Removing herself from her bed, she moved to her desk chair and began to unpack her books to start working on her homework. As she opened her workbook, her phone sounded an alert. 

“He sounds sweet, but still, be careful.” Hope warned. 

“I know.” She smiled at her phone, missing her friend. 

“Be sure to use protection ;)” Ivy laughed at her friend’s message and shook her head before her mind could wander. She replied with an emoji, a blank expression as if to say ‘really?’   
“But seriously, be careful about the protection thing and be careful about letting him get too close too quickly. You tend to fall for people really fast.” Hope added. 

“I know. I will. About both.” Ivy responded. 

“I love you and I don’t care who he is. If he breaks your heart, I’ll come back to Korea and break him.” She added, “Now, I’ve got to go to sleep. I’ll talk to you again tomorrow.”   
“Good night.” Ivy sent the message as she checked the time. 4:45 PM. With a sigh, she looked back to her books in front of her. 

A full week passed before he could see her again. Well, a week and a half. It felt like three weeks. The comeback and subsequent promotional activity had him booked solid for at least a month but time could be found for dinner one evening. 

The flirting only increased since they met face to face. His brief and infrequent moments of free time were spent texting her or laughing at something she sent him. Frequently she sent him vines that she saw or pictures of cute animals. He returned the favor, although most of the vines he found hilarious were Korean jokes and she couldn’t quite understand them most of the time. She still laughed. 

Tuesday came with added nerves and eager anticipation. Normally, she wouldn’t want to be out late during the week. It was hard enough to wake up in the morning falling asleep before midnight. She could forget waking up on time if she stayed out after twelve, which she likely would. He said he would meet her there at nine. She checked the time as she stood in front of the mirror on the back of her door. 

8:15. 

This time she was going to put forth an effort, which honestly wasn’t too much different from her not trying. A little bit of makeup. An attempt at decent eyeliner, BB cream, a little concealer, and a lip tint. Her hair was loose but surprisingly tame. She wore black pumps, the only pair of heels she brought with her, paired with black skinny jeans. Well, they were more like jeggings. With the jeans, she wore a white button down that was a little too long, her sleeves rolled up. Her gray tank top could be vaguely seen beneath her blouse. A silver and blue necklace finished her ensemble. Giving herself one last look over, she smiled at her reflection. 

“Not too bad for your limited selection, Ivy. Not too bad.” She said to herself as she turned to take a glance at her backside in the mirror. She smiled again, “not too bad at all.” Then she remembered the time. “Oh, I gotta go.” She picked up her little purse and checked that she had her cards, some cash, and her phone. 

Carrying her shoes in one hand, she hurried down the stairs, dropping her slippers in her locker. After she’d slung her purse onto her shoulder, she hurried out the door to the subway station. Living in the “college town” of Seoul, the subway was still busy when she got on. By 8:45, she was off the train and walking to the restaurant. The place was a very upscale, nice restaurant and very busy. There was quite a few people waiting outside, most of them couples. She glanced around for him, but he was nowhere to be seen. The few little benches that sat outside the building were occupied so she stood and fiddled with her phone, she was still a little early. 

Time passed. She checked the time again. 

9:10. 

She’d been standing around for nearly twenty minutes now and she was really feeling it in her feet. Shifting back and forth, she tried to alleviate the growing pain in her feet. The cafe across the street looked more and more appealing as the seconds went by. She could always text him where she is and wait for him there, where she can sit in the nice little air conditioned cafe. She started to walk towards the road, looking both ways as she approached the curb. A familiar voice called out to her, causing her to hesitate and look back at the sidewalk.

“I thought we had a date.” Chanyeol said loud enough for her to hear as he hurriedly walked to her. 

“I’m not the one who was late.” She said as the two of them stepped back up onto the sidewalk. “I was going to wait for you in the cafe over there. My feet were aching and I wanted to sit down.” Glancing down at her heels, his expression changed. 

“I’m so sorry. Rehearsals ran late and then there was traffic and I tried to borrow a tie from Junmyeon then decided against the tie and I had to take a detour because of some construction work then I had to park a couple blocks away.” He spoke so quickly, she barely understood him but his apology was genuine. She started laughing as he finished speaking. “What? What is it?” He asked, genuinely confused as he looked down at himself to see what she was laughing at. 

“We’re wearing the same thing.” She put her hands on her cheeks as she kept laughing. Sure enough, he was wearing a white button down and black pants. Even his sleeves were already rolled up because of the summer heat. Their outfits were mirrors of each other’s right down to their silver jewelry. He started laughing at the coincidence as well but he stilled his laughter as he looked her over. The nervousness he felt at the moment he thought she might be ditching him suddenly came back. His smile never disappeared, even as he bit his lip and suddenly she knew why he was staring. With a chuckle she returned the both of them to the present. “So, I assume you had a reservation for this place.” 

“For 9:15.” He checked his watch. “Right now.” He offered his hand to her with a grin. Hand in hand, they were seated quickly in an upper level of the restaurant that was quieter and significantly less crowded. But it also held less tables. They had a table near the corner. It was surprisingly quaint. Nice but not really fancy. He let her sit near the wall, furthest away from the rest of the crowded dining room. When offered any alcoholic beverages, wine and the like, he glanced to her with a questioning look. A brief shake of her head and they moved on to food. Once the waiter left with their orders, she decided to elaborate on her quiet decision as it was something that he didn’t yet know about her, mostly because it had never come up before. 

“I don’t drink. No one in my family, well my immediate family, does. And technically speaking, I’m underage, not in Korea but at least by my country’s standards.” She explained and took a sip of her glass of water, part of her not wanting to look up at his surprised face. 

“I didn’t think about it. I just figured you didn’t want to.” Suddenly feeling a little awkward he sipped at his drink as well. 

“This feels rather adult doesn’t it. Nice restaurant. Dinner. You almost wore a tie.” She tried to be funny but mostly felt embarrassed at her attempt. But he still chuckled. 

“It is, isn’t it. I should have worn the tie, then we could really act like grown-ups.” He smiled. 

“We could have but you had to decide against the tie.” She sighed with a grin. Picking up her glass again, she continued. “So, what should we talk about? The economy?” She laughed, unable to control herself. 

“Young people these days? Am I right?” He made a serious expression, mimicking her tone. His ‘grown-up’ impersonation fell apart within seconds.  
“Ha ha ha.” She gave a mock laugh and Chanyeol was about to fall out of his chair trying to stifle his laughter. “Did you see that debate the other night? Absolutely riveting.” She paused to laugh at how hard he was laughing. In all honesty, she didn’t think that it was that funny but he was so amused by it. It was cute. 

 

Dinner was as delightful as its rather humorous beginning. She had been worried about being out after midnight but now she didn’t want to be home before midnight. She’d rather spend her time with him. As busy as he was, they had to make every moment count and spend every moment they could together. So, that’s why they were on their way back to her place. They weren’t about to end the date but they couldn’t very well go to a park as hot as it still was or the mosquitos that were sure to be out. They weren’t keen on sitting in a cafe or even just sitting in the car. Her building had a common area on the ground floor that would likely be empty at this hour. 

With his hand in hers, she led him in and to the common room. It was bright white and light colored wood, with wood tables and chairs throughout. At least one flower sat in a vase on each table, some of them had more. Sure enough, it was empty and the lights were still on. 

“Are you sure we can be in here? It feels weird with no one else.” He asked, looking around the room. She nodded. 

“It’s fine. Someone comes by sometime at night to turn off the lights but that won’t be by for a little while yet.” She looked back at him. “I don’t want to say goodbye yet.” He looked down as he smiled. His cheeks warming as she smiled back at him, she took both of his hands in hers, pulling him further into the room. They swung their intertwined hands back and forth, the two of them swaying a little. He released one hand twirled her around before rejoining hands. Her giggle was like music to him. They continued that pattern in the silent room for a minute. 

“Do you want to dance?” She asked. 

“Could we play music?” He returned, looking hopeful. She nodded. 

“Most of the rooms are soundproof or nearly sound proof. As long as it’s soft, no one will hear.” She assured him. He pulled out his phone as she dropped her purse on a nearby table. He set his phone on the table as well, as music began to play just loud enough for them to hear it. Something cheerful and sweet. 

She held out her hands to him as she approached him. Once his hands were around hers, he spread their arms out, well as far as her arms would go, swaying the two back and forth for a moment. She took the lead after a few moments, pulling him closer, a hand on his shoulder and the other in his. His hand found a place on her waist as the two picked up the pace and slipped into time with the music again. As the song reached a crescendo, she swung out away from him, then spun back into his arms. With both their hands clasped again, she let him hold her there with her back against his chest. She ran her thumb over his as she stayed there, neither of them moving to change position. She could feel his heart beating fast through his chest. 

The song changed. A new song featuring a familiar deep voice played through the speakers on his phone. It had a similar feeling as the last one but softer. Gently and without a word, she turned in his arms to face him again. Smiling up at him, she had to ask. 

“This is yours?” She asked, her smile staring up at his bashful face. 

“Yeah. I didn’t realize I’d left it on shuffle. I can choose something else.” He seemed like he might jump over to his phone any second. 

“No, I like it. It fits you.” Picking his hands up again, she tried to sway him back and forth with the music in order to dispel how nervous he had suddenly become. With a goofy grin, she swung his arms side to side with her. His smile returned, that natural sweet smile that she already loved so much. He twirled her around in his arms again, bringing her close to him, his arm on her waist again. Not without blushing, she let herself enjoy being that close to him and rested her head against his shoulder, as that was the highest point that she could comfortably reach. As they stayed like that, she couldn’t think of many moments in her life that made her feel as nice as that did. She thought about how rare it was for her to find someone she could get along with so well that actually liked her as much as she liked them. Really, it was a first for a man to hold her like that, at least that intimately, that carefully, that warmly. Closing her eyes, she let herself get carried away in the thought of him, the feel of him. His heart was still beating loud but slower now, as if he too had relaxed. 

Suddenly, she remembered her friend’s advice, not the part about protection. She should be wary of letting herself go so quickly. Ivy looked up at his face, still remembering what her friend said. He looked back down at her, his smile relaxing into this gentle expression while his eyes continuously glanced at her lips then searched her face for permission. There was no mistaking what he was considering but Ivy was still debating it in her mind. Kiss him now, risk regret later? Listen to her friend and be careful or go with what feels good at the moment? Maybe this time was the time to take this slow. He was something special, she could feel it, so why wait?

Basking in the feeling of affection from his touch and his warm brown eyes, she made her decision.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chanyeol can’t see her again for three weeks but he finds a way to make up for it.

Ivy bit her lip, unsure of what to do as this wasn’t exactly a frequent dilemma for her. She averted her gaze and glanced to the side. He resigned, a little bit disappointed but respecting her space. A smile returning to his face, he looked a little to the side as well but that means he didn’t see her lean up on her toes. Only noticing after her lips met his cheek, his mouth opened in surprise and quickly turned to a smile. 

“Not just yet, okay?” She said quietly as she returned to stand fully on the floor, looking back up at him. He nodded, smile still in place. 

“Okay.” He repeated back. She needed time and that was okay. If she needed weeks or months or even more time, he could wait for her to be ready. He brought their clasped hands against his chest between the two of them. Looking up at those big brown eyes, she wanted so badly to kiss him but at the same time she was so afraid of screwing up what was probably one of the best things that’s happened to her. 

“Miss Ivy! What are you doing here this late?” A shrill woman’s voice interrupted them in Korean. Her landlady, Mrs. Ha, stood by the doorway. She was a small older woman, very conservative and old fashioned. “What is this young man doing here with you at this hour?” 

“Mrs. Ha!” Ivy separated from her companion, leaving at least a foot between them. “We were just saying good night. He is going to leave soon.” She assured the woman with a smile. 

“As long as he doesn’t go upstairs with you.” The woman grumbled lowly. “I’ll be back in five minutes to turn off the lights.” She added as she walked away. Ivy turned to Chanyeol and gave an awkward laugh as she pushed her hair back. He picked up his phone from the nearby table, silencing it. 

“Sorry. I thought it would be her daughter that came down here to close up for the night.” She tried to apologize, picking up her purse. “I guess you ought to go.” The situation couldn’t help but make him smile, it felt so silly. Earlier they were joking about being grown up and now, he was being ushered away by a little ahjumma who wanted to protect Ivy’s innocence. “You know, before she comes back and chases you off with a broom.” They laughed a little as they walked towards the exit.

Far too quickly for their liking, they reached the front doors and turned to face each other. They nearly kissed a moment ago, should they hug goodbye, Chanyeol debated in his mind. Moving almost too quickly, he put his arms back around her waist and held her close again, bending down a little so his head was right beside hers. She couldn’t hold back her smile as she hugged him back, trying to lean up into him so he didn’t have to lean over so much. When he began to move away, she felt his lips press against her cheek for just a moment and for a few seconds she forgot how to breath. Hoping he didn’t notice the change in her breathing, she smiled at him and wished him a good night as he walked out. 

In a dreamlike state, she walked upstairs with her hand on her cheek the entire way. It was almost like a burning feeling where he kissed her cheek. Quietly and efficiently, she washed up and changed for bed the same as she always did. Laying down in her bed she stared at the wall with a giddy grin on her face. Such a warm feeling had taken over her body, entirely unlike the humid oppressive heat that waited outside but that sweet gentle warmth that she had only felt from sitting in the sun on a mild spring day. You know, those mid-Spring days when it’s not too cold or not too hot and the sun hits you just right so that you want to lay in it all day like a cat on a windowsill. Was it contentment? Was it happiness? That couldn’t be all it was. The pleasant burning sensation where his lips touched the skin of her cheek, that wasn’t like the warm Spring day. That sensation was like when you’ve been cold for so long and you walk into a warm room or drink something hot. It burns a little because it’s become foreign to your cool skin. In this particular case, she’d never been in love and having someone of the opposite gender look at her with such affection was entirely foreign. And the feeling of his lips on her skin was just as, if not more, foreign to her. But oh, how delicious this new warmth feels. 

 

He wouldn’t be able to see her again for three weeks, until the promotions for the new album slowed down. It was disappointing to them both but he had plans to make up for his absence. 

One week from their previous date, a wednesday, she came home right after classes to take a nap. After only twenty minutes, a rather hard and loud knock on her door woke her up. Patting her cheeks to wake herself up, she took a breath and opened the door. Mrs. Ha looked at her around a bouquet of roses. 

“These were just delivered for you.” She handed them to Ivy. “Are they from the gentleman who was with you last week?” 

“I think so.” She smiled and picked out the card. Mrs. Ha left and Ivy shut the door, already moving to her desk.

‘ A rose for every day I’m missing you. -- your idiot ’ Ivy laughed and laid them on the desk, taking a closer look at them. There were seven, seven days since she last saw him. All seven were either coral or pink in color. A giddy smile remained on her face as she remembered their previous date, nearly kissing and his kiss to her cheek. He sure was something special. 

 

A week later, on the next wednesday, another bouquet arrived for her. This time there were fourteen and they were all light purple or yellow with red tips. 

‘ Has it been fourteen days since I last saw you? It feels so much longer. -- your idiot ’ When she talked to him about the roses, he just got shy. But then again, they were both very shy and sweet about the whole thing. 

“It was the most obvious way to me to show you that I missed you.” He explained. 

“The most obvious way?” She asked incredulously. 

“Okay, it was the most romantic way.” 

“The most romantic way? Sir, are you trying to seduce me?” She joked. 

“Seduction implies desire. My intentions are pure. Besides, you already seduced me on our last date.” He countered. She could sense the dorky smile on his face, she had the same expression on hers. 

“And how did I manage that?” She was almost afraid to ask. 

“Those skinny jeans you wore last time. And you really are more charming than you know.” He replied. Just as she began to prepare a response, he added to his answer. “But mostly the way you looked when you considered kissing me and your kiss on my cheek.” 

“I know how that feels, to be seduced by a simple kiss on the cheek.” 

 

The third wednesday came and no bouquet arrived. An interesting change, she thought, he probably had something planned instead. A few more days passed with nothing out of the ordinary. The weekend came and he was back in Seoul but told her he might not be able to get away. As much as she missed him, her midterm was coming up and she wanted to spend the better part of the weekend reviewing. She told him it was okay, she had some things she could do. 

Sunday comes and she’s been studying pretty well uninterrupted well into the afternoon. But of course something would have to ruin it. A gentle knock at her door roused her from her study session. She jumped up to the little window that looked out into the hallway to check who it was. Even though she was busy, her face lit up at the sight of him.   
Chanyeol stood in front of her door, nervously glancing back and forth, up and down the hall. Hurriedly, she opened her door, ushering him inside. 

“How did you know where my room is? What are you doing here?” She asked as she shut the door, leaning back against it. 

“The girl who lives two doors down from you told me. I told her I was your boyfriend and I wanted to surprise you.” He smiled and kissed her forehead. 

“That’s not exactly smart of her to show you where I live just because you said you’re my boyfriend.” Ivy grumbled for a moment. 

“I brought dinner.” He held up a plastic bag in one hand. “Does that make up for it?” Her smile returned. 

“Yes.” 

“And, I brought this.” He produced a single red rose in his other hand. “I felt that twenty four roses was a little extravagant and hard to carry with one hand.” 

“It’s beautiful. Thank you.” She smiled at him as she took the rose, suddenly too shy to kiss his cheek again. Setting the rose with the others, she hurriedly cleared her desk to have a place to set the food. In a matter of minutes they were sitting on her bed eating away at the takeaway he brought with him. By the time they finished eating, she had her book out in front of her again as he skimmed through her notes. 

“So, you have to know all of these sentence structures by Tuesday for your midterm?” He asked. 

“Yep. That’s why I need to study. I’m not very good at using some of them.” She answered without looking up from her book. 

“I can help you if you want. We can practice together.” He offered. She looked up at him sitting less than a foot away. 

“I guess we could try that.” As she was finishing her sentence, her phone rang. Immediately picking it up, she realized it was a video call from her mother. Panic ran across her face as she tried to turn away so he wouldn’t be in the camera’s view. Gesturing to him to be quiet she answered it. 

“Hi mom.” She said cheerily. 

“Hey baby. How’s studying going?” Her mother smiled back at her. 

“Eh, it’s going.” Ivy shrugged. “What are you doing calling at this hour? Isn’t it crazy early in the morning?” 

“I was about to leave to drive your sister out to church camp but she’s taking her time, so I thought I’d check in and see how my oldest is getting on.” 

“Well, I’m getting on just fine. I actually was just about to take a break and go get dinner with a friend. I should actually go ahead and leave pretty soon.” She tried to usher her mother to end the call. 

“Okay, well, I just wanted to check in. Be safe. Have fun with your friend.” 

“Okay, Mom. I will. I love you.” She waved goodbye to her mother. 

“Good night, baby. Love you too.” And she was gone. Ivy visibly relaxed a little as she set her phone down. 

“You didn’t want her to see me?” Chanyeol asked, setting her notebook down on his lap. 

“My mom would flip out if she knew I had a boy in my room, at home or halfway across the world. Especially halfway across the world.” She explained. 

“Why? Because I might do something like this?” With a sudden burst of courage, he discarded the notebook and crawled up over Ivy, pushing her back so that she was leaning up on her elbows to keep from laying all the way back on the bed. 

“That’s exactly why.” She replied, pulse quickening. As nervously as when she first saw him and when she last looked into those eyes like this, she considered it again, kissing him. Door locked and no chance of anyone stopping them, those brown eyes could be so persuasive. What would it mean for her plan to “take it slow”? She thought. Then she decided again.

“Fuck it.”She murmured. She can kiss whoever she damn well pleases. Putting a hand on his cheek, suddenly the playful situation changed. Leaning up ever so slowly, nearly hesitantly, she pressed her lips to his. The burning sensation returned and as he responded, pressing back, she felt a sudden difficulty to breathe. Separating her lips from his, she looked up at those brown eyes again. He seemed to be just as affected by it as she was. He smiled and glanced at her lips again. 

“Kiss me again.” He whispered in the quiet room. There was no hesitation this time as she kissed him. She slid her hand from his cheek to his neck and her other arm moved up to drape across his shoulders. He moved with her and held himself just over her as she laid back on the bed. She kept one hand in his hair and he kept a hand on her waist. The burning spread through the majority of her body, wherever he touched her. Kissing him was like a breath of fresh air after you’ve held your breath for a long time. Like your first breath, pure and joyous and once you start you can’t stop. Through the slow moving tangle of hands and limbs and tongues, an hour and a half later, they laid on their sides facing each other, pressed close together on the small bed. He had his legs bent, one of them across hers, because he was too tall to fit on her bed and he slid down so his face was pressed against her neck. He continued to idly kiss her neck as they laid there together. Her fingers lazily trailed back and forth over his arm, from the top of his clothed shoulders to his elbow. 

“I feel so lucky to have met you.” She said, a faint smile on her face. 

“I think I love you.” Is what he thought to say, but he didn’t. It was a big thing, saying ‘I love you’ to a person. It’s a milestone in a relationship. Sometimes saying it too soon can cause problems even if you mean it. And he did, he really believed he loved her but for these reasons, he was too nervous to say what he wanted. “Didn’t you have to study?” He asked instead. 

“I don’t want to study now. I don’t really think I’m in the right mindset to study right now anyway.” She glanced at him then paused. “Let’s just watch a movie.” They both sat up, otherwise Chanyeol would have fallen off the bed. They shifted positions and brought her laptop over, logging onto her family’s Netflix account. Now, he was leaned back against her pillows with her in his lap. Her laptop sat on her desk chair, turned to face them while some movie they randomly chose began to play.

“Isn’t this what people call ‘Netflix and chill’?” He asked, a goofy chuckle infiltrating his question. 

“No.” She answered quickly, then “Maybe.” She looked up at him. “I’m still deciding.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go shopping for a new dress for Ivy, though Chanyeol won’t tell her why. She challenges him to a one on one basketball game in order to win another hint about the surprise. She realizes the extent of her feelings when he helps her after their game.

They grew closer that night and although they couldn’t see each other again for nearly two weeks, they continued to grow closer as they talked like they always had. Their texts grew flirtier and their phone calls grew longer and more frequent. His music, and the music of EXO, changed to her. It felt different when she listened to it now, almost like it was more important to her because it was part of his life and a part of him. He loved the other members like family and he loved the music they performed and the music he created himself. She was realizing that all of it, the members, the music, his music, was each an essential part of him.

Anyway, she complained about not having any decent skirts or dresses. She had the dress she wore that time he met her but all her other dresses and skirts were left at home in her parent’s house, thinking she wouldn’t miss them much but she missed having the option to wear a casual skirt or a dress, especially in Korea. It was so much more acceptable to dress up whenever and wear skirts and dresses in casual settings. It didn’t seem that Chanyeol forgot anything when it came to her, so one evening when he had some time, he asked her out specifically to go shopping. She thought he meant for him or someone else, not her. In shorts and a t-shirt, she headed out with him to a shopping center in a nearby neighborhood. He kept a hat and a mask on the entire time. Only an hour remained before the shopping center closed and it was a Tuesday night, so only a few people were out and about in this particular center. Upon entering, he asked her where she wanted to go. 

“I don’t know. You were the one who wanted to go shopping.” She replied, looking around the large open area in the middle of the building. Their hands were clasped together between them. 

“I know, but do you really want me picking out clothes for you?” He asked, a smile obvious on his face despite the mask. 

“I’m broke college student, that’s why I haven’t been shopping for a while.” She gave him a look as if to scold him. 

“I know.” 

“I’m not about to let you just buy me clothes.” She put a hand on her hip and stared at him. 

“Isn’t your birthday next month? You can consider it a birthday gift.” He tried to convince her. 

“Why couldn’t you just take me shopping closer to my birthday then?” She countered, her disapproving stare persisting. 

“I have other things planned for your birthday and shopping would conflict with it.” He said looking up away from her. 

“Really? You already have something planned? Why would you do that?” Confusion replaced her disapproval. 

“It’s your first birthday away from home. I want to make it nice for you.” Chanyeol returned his gaze to her, as she smiled at his thoughtfulness. That was so kind of him. But should she let him buy her a new skirt or dress or whatever. . . 

“This is part of my birthday gift?” She asked again, raising an eyebrow at him. He nodded and smiled again. “Okay, but that is the only circumstances that I’m allowing this.”   
“So, which store?” 

“Surprise me. I’m curious to see where you go with this.” She wondered if she’d regret it. He looked her over one time then led her away to a shop on the other end of the mall. It was sort of a mix of his style and hers, modern, elegant, and polished but with a little bit of a vintage influence. He chose it because of a few dresses in the window that he thought would look nice on her. She didn’t like them all that much. The higher a hem is above her knee, the more uncomfortable she gets. And those dresses were not comfortable to her. She tried two dresses on in that shop, while Chanyeol sat outside the changing room. 

“So, what sort of setting is this dress supposed to fit? Casual, really dressy? Like, what am I dressing up for?” She asked from beyond the curtain. 

“Just a nice evening out. Nicer than that first time we had dinner but not like, super nice.” He answered, fiddling with his phone. After a few minutes, she stepped out in her shorts and t-shirt again, shaking her head. 

“These are not really my style.”She said carrying the dresses in one hand. 

“I don’t even get to see.” He made a face. 

“You really don’t.” She commented as she walked past him. Two stores later, she was in the changing room again after nearly falling in love with a red dress she saw on a rack. Now, this one she would share. Tentatively pushing the changing room curtain back, she smiled at him as she stepped out. Her hands shook, wondering what he might think about it. His face lit up mostly at her cute, shy expression but the dress gave her this extra little something to her appearance. A little more confidence perhaps. It was crimson with an off-the-shoulder neckline and short sleeves. The hem of the pencil style skirt ended at the bottom of her knee, a comfortable length. It showcased her shoulders and accentuated her waist, and gave her an overall slimmer, taller appearance. For a moment, he felt like his eyes might burn at the sight of her, a burn he wouldn’t mind feeling again and again. 

“What do you think?” She turned and struck a pose before laughing at herself a few seconds later. “It’s nice, right?” Glancing down at the dress, she avoided his gaze.   
“It’s great. Very sexy.” He said without thinking, a smile still on his face.

“Sexy?” She repeated, suddenly feeling very self conscious, even more so than before. No one had ever told her that before. She felt a little accomplished, a little proud, and a little embarrassed. 

“Yeah, I mean, you just- you look great. Really. . . so beautiful. . .” He trailed off, as if suddenly coming back to his senses or perhaps losing them. He swallowed and looked back at her face. “You really like it?” She nodded.

“If you insist on buying me a dress, I choose this one.” She conceded, looking down as she wrung her hands. “Okay? But only if you insist. I don’t like charity and I’m not about to owe you anything.” She said, looking back up at him. 

“I insist. It’s part of your birthday gift.” He smiled and held his hands out to her. Sliding her hands into his, she let herself take a few more steps towards him. 

“Fine. I’ll let you buy me a dress.” She paused, staring him down. “But I’m still a little nervous about what you’re planning for my birthday.” 

“I’m not telling if you’re looking for answers.” He said with a knowing smirk. 

“But if I wanted a hint…” She leaned towards him, a smile growing on her own face, trying to soften his will. 

“Well,” he made a face as if he was momentarily deep in thought, “it’s something you’ve told me you really wanted to do.” He admitted. 

“I’ve told you lots of things that I want to do.” She pouted. 

“How many of them would involve you getting a new dress?” He asked. 

“None of them necessarily. What are you planning?” Leaning into him, she played on his earlier confession of her being sexy and pouted as she looked up at his face.   
“A surprise, which it will remain so until I choose to reveal it.” He bit his lip and sucked in a breath as he looked down at her cute expression. She was like a puppy, all big eyes and a sweet pout, except she was also very enticing in the same ways, plus that dress hugging her body. He swallowed again and stared her down. 

“Fine. It’s a surprise. I’ve never liked surprises.” She took a step back and turned to the changing room. “I’m going to change back so we can hurry up and buy this thing.” And she disappeared behind the curtain again. 

They walked out of the shopping center as it closed, bag in hand, well, his hand. It wasn’t a long walk back to her place. The neighborhood between the center and their destination was pretty safe and quiet and altogether void of most nightlife that you could see in places like Sincheon and Hongdae, the college areas. Apartment buildings sat quietly lit with warm lights in the windows as families were readying themselves for sleep, while most businesses and office buildings were dark and devoid of activity. Only little convenience stores and gas stations were still lit up in bright white light. Streetlights were yellowish over a silent children’s park that they began to pass. 

Swings, slides, and a merry-go-round, among other equipment, rested after the day’s activities with the children from the nearby apartments. A basketball court stood empty just beside it, nearly empty except for a forgotten ball resting beside a bench along the court’s side. 

Ivy stopped, causing Chanyeol to look to her then the subject of her gaze. Glancing at him with a mischievous smile, she began walking over to the court, towing him along.   
Turning to face him, she continued pulling him along as she walked backwards onto the court. 

“I challenge you to a brief game.” She announced, dropping his hand from hers. 

“Really?” He nearly laughed. He was certainly more fit than she was, not to mention the advantage his height gave him. 

“If I win, you have to tell me the surprise.” She offered as she went to pick up the lonely ball, bouncing it a few times. 

“No. I’m not telling.” 

“Fine. Another hint then?” 

“Okay.” He laid the bag he held across the bench as he watched her dribble the ball back and forth as she walked around the court. “What happens if I win?” 

“The next time we go shopping together for clothes, I’ll let you pick an outfit for me and I’ll wear it on an occasion of your choice. But that only happens once. Okay?” She holds the ball in her hands, stopping to look at him, waiting for confirmation of their bet. He had a playful smile as he rolled his shoulders and walked onto the court in front of her.  
“Okay. How do I win?” He discarded his mask, stuffing it into his pocket. There was no need to wear it when there was no one around, and he was too focused on how he could beat her at her own challenge. 

“First one to five points wins.” She bounce passed the ball over to him. “You ready?”

“I was born ready.” He passed the ball back to her. “Ladies first.” She immediately sent the ball right back. 

“Ladies first.” She repeated, her mischievous smile returned. He stared back at her for a few seconds before springing into action, easily dribbling the ball up to the hoop and sinking it in with a lay-up. She grabbed the ball and rushed out away from the hoop and before he could get his hands between her and the net, the ball was in the air. With a swish of air, she earned three points at once. Biting his lip, he was both surprised and more determined as he chased after her and the ball. It quickly became a struggle as he attempted to make a shot like her first one. The ball bounced off the rim and she scored another point with the rebound. She moved to quick for him to get to. 

“Wait, what’s the score now?” She asked nonchalantly as he ran off court to pick up the ball after he bounced it off the backboard in another three point attempt. “Don’t I have four? And you’ve got what? One, right? Or was it two?” He gave her a stern look as he jogged back up to the court. She watched him score with another lay-up, clapping when he made it in. 

“That makes two.” He said before the both of them went back at it, the struggle for the ball. He made another point, but then she went in for a lay-up to toss it in. But seemingly nothing at all caused her to misplace her footing as she left the ground and her jump left her falling to the concrete. The ball however still launched out of her hands up into the air. As she landed against the concrete and Chanyeol experienced a moment of panic and worry as she pushed herself up, the ball hit the backboard, rolled against the rim, and by some miracle, fell through the net. Not by some miracle, the ball landed on Ivy’s back and she fell to the ground again as Chanyeol rushed over, the ball bouncing away. He had his hands outstretched to her as she pushed herself up into a sitting position. 

“Are you okay?” His voice actually sounded nervous as he crouched down beside her. 

“Well, that sucked.” She said, looking down at the dirt and imprint of concrete and little rocks on her hands. Brushing her hands off, she started to move and saw her knees, tinges of blood were just beginning to mingle with the bits of dirt and rocks now stuck to her skin. “Beautiful.” She sighed. Suddenly she paused a moment, before looking at Chanyeol. “Did it go in?” He had a moment of disbelief before he fell back on his butt with loud, hearty laughter and his hand on his chest. She had just glanced at her now, bleeding legs but decides to ask about whether she scored that winning point. “Well?” She asked, leaning forward and fighting the urge to laugh along. 

“Yes.” He admitted finally, calming his laughter. 

“Yes!” She would have jumped if she were standing. “You owe me another hint.” She pointed to him with a victorious smile. Glancing back to her knees, he answered her. 

“I’ll tell you after we fix your knees.” He stood up, holding out his hands to help her up with him. She let him pull her up and she brushed herself off. 

“It’s not that bad.” She said, looking down at them. “I could get home.” She started to walk forward and made a face. He watched her walk over to where he stood by the bench. 

“Let’s go over to the little store on the corner. We can get a drink and put some bandages on your knees.” He suggested. She sighed and glanced around then back at her knees.   
“I’ll carry you there.” 

“No.” She replied immediately. 

“It’s just a block away.” He paused. “It’s uncomfortable to walk, right?” She made a face. 

‘Damn it, he was right.’ She thought, a moment passed. “Fine.” She acquiesces and following his lead, she climbs onto his back. His arms hooked underneath her legs and the bag was securely in her hands as he walked them the full block down to a convenience store. About ten minutes later, she was leaning against a parking meter while he was kneeling in front of her with a tube of some medicinal cream that he rubbed onto her now relatively clean knee. 

She couldn’t help but watch him as he knelt there, expression soft and gentle yet focused on the task at hand as he gently wiped away the dirt and blood, then rubbed medicine into her wound. It was a gentle expression he held as he pulled the paper off the adhesive bandage and carefully pressed it into place. She wondered if he would do this for many other people, probably not. For loved ones and very close friends, maybe not even friends. But even then, he’d still help them, even if he wasn’t tending their wounds himself. Suddenly a thought crossed her mind as he began on her other knee. 

This man kneeling before her was not the man that she thought he was initially. She didn’t mean who she thought he was when he first sent her a message or when she first knew his identity. She meant the man who she believed Park Chanyeol to be. That man was goofy and charming, always confident and so hardworking. She always knew he was so much more than people could see but knowing him so closely was something that she could only describe as a privilege. Not because of his status or his celebrity or even his talent. It was a privilege to know him because of how sincere he is, because of the type of person he is. The man before her, cleaning the dirt from her scraped knee without complaint, he was a man with flaws. He could be forgetful and a workaholic. He could get downright whiny on his bad days. But he’s a man who always tries. He puts one hundred percent of himself into everything he does, whether it’s his craft or his relationships or whatever else. No matter how bad he feels, he puts on a smile for the fans but also for the people surrounding him. He could be so gentle and kind as well, caring for every person in his life, from his parents to the other members to, now, Ivy. Staring down at him, she felt her eyes begin to water. Shaking her head, she rubbed her eyes, trying to chase the unexpected tears away. He glanced up at her. 

“Are you okay?” He asks, pausing his actions. “Does it hurt?” 

“I’m fine. When are you going to give me the other hint?” She replied, changing the subject. He went back to bandaging her knee. 

“It’s much more lavish than you’d allow but it’s a gift so you don’t have a say. I’ll kidnap you if I have to.” He explained, pressing the bandage against her skin one more time before looking up at her again. He smiled a soft, closed mouth smile, gentle and quiet and warm. She reached out to touch his face, tentatively at first but slowly pressing her palm against his cheek. Closing his eyes, he turned his face and kissed her palm, lingering several seconds as she watched him. It was a peculiar, delicious feeling, his lips on the skin of her hand. The gesture felt so intimate and intense, he might as well have kissed her for the first time all over again. He looked back up at her, smiling that gentle smile again while he held her hand to his cheek with one of his own. They couldn’t stay like that forever though, no matter how much they wanted to.

After a few moments of smiles and quiet little gestures, he stood up, releasing her hand so she could climb again onto his back. He felt the need to continue talking as he took her home, so they talked and laughed. 

When he dropped her off at her building and she watched him walk away towards where his car had been parked most of the evening, she stayed at the glass doors until he was out of sight. Her desire for him to stay had never been stronger and she couldn’t help the near melancholic feeling that she felt remembering the image of him walking away from her. She knew the most probable cause of that feeling, though she hadn’t said it out loud yet. 

She went upstairs, opting to use the elevator instead. Once her books for the next day were stacked together on her desk and she had retired to her bed, she looked down at her knees again, then the hand he kissed. Smiling, she sighed, thinking about not only the events of that evening, but when she first kissed him, when he sent her all those flowers, when he sent her that song that he wrote, when he first said her name, and when she first looked up to see him standing in front of her. All those moments, she could feel them swirling around inside her like a storm, a storm that she hadn’t been willing to label until she was sure. But now, she smiled, almost chuckling, at the realization that dawned on her that late evening. 

“I can’t believe I’m in love with him.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivy joins Chanyeol for a recording of a music show. She meets the other members and embarrasses herself by freaking out a little backstage. And she and Chanyeol share an intimate moment in his car.

The next night after their shopping trip, she was laying on her bed laughing as he talked over the phone making fun of something silly that happened in rehearsals that morning. He had trouble controlling his laughter as he told her, and she was pretty sure she could hear something fall in the background. 

“Are you ever going to introduce me to other members?” She asked as the thought crossed her mind. He hadn’t even given a hint at introducing her to the members, even though he talked about them often. 

“Do you want to meet them?” He responded with a question. He was genuinely surprised that she brought it up, not even thinking about how he had been inadvertently keeping her from them. 

“Of course. They’re important to you and unless you’ve forgotten I was a fan before we met.” She answered. 

“Okay. You’ll have to meet them sometime.” He meant that both in the sense that eventually she would meet them regardless and she should actually be introduced to them sometime in the near future. His mind jumping to different ways to introduce her, how she should meet them, in small groups or all at once, over a meal, at the dorm, he found an idea that wouldn’t involve much initial interaction with the other guys. “Have you ever been to one of our shows?” 

“Nope. Never had the chance.” She replied, curious where he was going with this. 

“Would you like to come to a recording of a music show?” Silently, she laughed a little at the thought, though she wasn’t sure why. It might have been the thought of herself at a place like that, a setting that she had only ever seen on a computer screen, that caused her to laugh. She hesitated, giving it a brief thought, would she really want to go? Music and Chanyeol and his band, but on the other hand lots of people and cameras? But Chanyeol and the other members.

“Okay. When did you have in mind?” She answered, feeling a little brave at the thought of going. 

“Friday.” 

“Ooh, I get to see you twice in one week, aren’t I lucky?” She meant her comment like a joke but he was silent. “Chanyeol?” 

“I hate that we feel lucky to see each other just twice in a week, when most couples get to see each other nearly everyday.” His tone was solemn. She suddenly felt a nearly overwhelming urge to hold his hand or hug him or touch his cheek, something to comfort him. 

“I know. But it’s part of our lives, besides I’m happy just to see you when I do.” She tried to offer some comfort to him. 

“It’s part of my life. If you dated anyone else, you could see them every other day.” Now, he was letting that sadness get away from him. 

“But I’m choosing to date you. You’re my boyfriend.” She said, rolling onto her side. She was suddenly very aware that that was the first time she called him her boyfriend. 

“You’re my girlfriend.” She could hear him say quietly. Smiling at his whisper, she checked the time. It was well past midnight. 

“Oppa.” She said to regain his attention. “I hate to go but I have some errands to run before school so I need to get to sleep before I fall asleep on you.” 

“Okay. Sleep well. I’ll send you the details on the show recording.” He sounded nearly content but with a tinge of sadness from his previous comments. 

“Okay. Don’t throw a pity party without me, okay? I’m part of this relationship too.” She chuckled, trying to lighten his mood. “Dream of me.” She phrased it almost like a question. 

“Always.” 

 

In retrospect, the ordeal was rather well organized. Although at the time, Ivy had difficulty seeing it because of her own anxiety altering her view. She arrived considerably early and waited outside among the numerous other people there for the recording, having received her pass and ticket beforehand. There were a lot of girls, teenagers and adults.   
There were plenty of men there as well but it seemed that around Ivy, females were the majority. Some of them looked at her a little oddly, but in the nearly two months that she’d been living in Korea, she had come to expect it. Waiting in line, she fiddled with her phone, aimlessly scrolling on Tumblr. She still reacted nearly the same when she saw pictures of Chanyeol show up on her dashboard. Whenever a particularly good one came up, she’d give it a smile, a nod, a like, and sometimes a muttering of approval, usually a long drawn out ‘nice.’ She wondered if that was weird, considering her being a fan of his group but also his girlfriend. It’s probably not really as weird as she thought it was. 

Once inside and seated, she just sort of watched people go about their work, preparing for the show, as well as other audience members finding their seats. This wasn’t even the most stressful part. The really stressful part came after the show. EXO’s performance was great. She thought they did wonderful and she had to make herself look away from Chanyeol on more than one occasion so that she would pay attention to the other members. 

The stressful part was when she was supposed to go find Chanyeol backstage afterwards. He couldn’t very well just drive around and pick her up, someone would recognize him or his car and a taxi would be too noticeable but he didn’t want to go meet somewhere else. So she was supposed to utilize the pass he arranged for her and find him backstage, among the dozen or so dressing rooms and countless people hurrying about. She was not thrilled but she was still willing to weave through the mayhem to find him. 

Part of her worried that security wouldn’t even let her through to the back, but it worked, she flashed her badge and walked on. People were everywhere, managers, make-up artists and stylists, and other assorted crew members. Everyone had a job and everyone was busy but she was looking around like a little puppy suddenly dropped in the middle of a metropolis. So many people were all moving about their business not paying her a second thought. She walked through the halls looking around but she hadn’t found any indication of EXO’s dressing room yet. Stopping and looking around again, she made a decision to ask someone close by. Preparing what she was going to say, she turned around to the person standing nearby her. She told herself she was going to ask the nearest person and quickly to avoid taking forever either because of shyness or indecision or a combination of both. Leaving no time for indecision, she turned and spoke to the person that had just stepped up next to her. 

“Excuse me?” She began in Korean. The man was looking down at his phone but when he looked up she closed her partly open mouth. He raised his eyebrows to question what she was about to say. 

“Can I help you?” He seemed genuinely confused as he looked down at her. She opened and closed her mouth a few times then looked down at the pass in her hands as she asked her question, briefly glancing up at the man in front of her. 

“Where is EXO’s dressing room?” Her stomach felt like it might come right up her esophagus and fly out of her mouth, she was so nervous and embarrassed.   
“Around the corner, on the left.” He pointed in the direction she should go, still looking very confused.

“Thank you.” She gave a deep bow and hurried away, eyes to the wall away from the man. Hand on her heart, she tried to calm herself a little. She had never been so glad to see the word “EXO” as she approached their door. Clenching her eyes shut for a moment, she knocked and the partly open door was pulled even more open by a surprised Xiumin, or Minseok rather. He had already changed and gotten rid of his stage makeup. 

“Hello. I’m Chanyeol’s friend.” She bowed and introduced herself, a tentative smile on her face. To her relief after her previous awkward encounter, he smiled and bowed back.   
“I’m Kim Minseok.” He stepped backwards into the room and she followed. 

“I’m Ivy.” She bowed again with her introduction. “A pleasure to meet you.” He repeated and returned the sentiment with a kind smile, before turning to the rest of the room. 

“Chanyeol-a.” He called out no louder than he spoke to her. Chanyeol turned from where he sat across the room. Smiling at the sight of Ivy standing beside his bandmate, he hurriedly finished wiping his face and walked over to her. He greeted her with a hug and a kiss to her forehead but a few seconds after her head leaned against his chest, she started laughing. He looked down at her confused. 

“I just made the biggest fool of myself.” She laughed, speaking English to him, partly not to embarrass herself further in front of the rest of EXO.   
“What? How?” He asked, beginning to laugh along. 

“I decided to ask someone where your room was and the person I asked was,” She paused to laugh at herself, “It was Choi Minho, from SHINee. I freaked out when I saw who he was and he was so confused.” She leaned her head forward against his chest as he laughed with her, putting an arm around her. Quickly she straightened up to stand beside him, his hand lingered on her back. Minseok couldn’t help but chuckle overhearing her predicament. Most of the other members had already finished changing clothes. Some of them had turned to watch the girl who stood next to Chanyeol. 

“Everyone.” Ivy winced at how loud his voice was, even though he was speaking barely louder than his volume when he spoke normally. Any of the members who had not already turned to look at them, turned their attention to Ivy and Chanyeol. “This is Ivy.” He glanced down from the others to her. Smiling, she exchanged bows with the members, bowing several times in a few different directions. 

“Hello.” When she stood straight again, she shifted her feet so she stood closer to Chanyeol, suddenly feeling very nervous again. Junmyeon stepped forward first. 

“He wouldn’t stop talking about you this morning.” He held out his hands and shook hers. “I’m Kim Junmyeon.” She knew who he was but the fact that he introduced himself to her made it all seem much more normal. After all, she was just meeting her boyfriend’s coworkers/friends. Junmyeon had a warm smile that could put one at ease, it was no wonder Chanyeol talked about him being such a great leader. A few of the others came up to introduce themselves and talk to her a moment. A few of them just quietly introduced themselves. After only a few minutes of talking with the few members who took the initiative to try and chat with Ivy despite her mediocre Korean, Chanyeol made some excuse and managed to get himself and Ivy out of the room. Sliding his hand into hers, they walked through the halls towards the back entrance.

“You didn’t want to stick around to get food with them?” She asked. “Or did you just want me all to yourself?” She looked up at him with a grin. 

“Both.” He returned her grin and squeezed her hand. 

They detached hands long enough to cross the distance from the doors to his car. Two hours and one very large bowl of bingsu later, they parked on a secluded side street near her goshiwon, the radio playing at a low volume. 

“Today was interesting.” She said, leaning back against the seat, her head lolling to the side to look at him. 

“How?” He raised his eyebrows and leaned back like she did, shutting the car off. 

“It felt very strange and very normal at the same time. On one hand, I went to the recording of a television music show where my international popstar rapper boyfriend was performing.” He couldn’t help but smile. Whether he was smiling at the popstar boyfriend part or just the fact that she called him her boyfriend. “And on the other hand, it was just visiting you at work and it felt that way, like I was just visiting you at work.” She paused to laugh at her own thought, looking away, ahead of her. “Just another day at the office.”   
Smiling, he couldn’t help staring at her. 

“You did enjoy it though?” He asked. 

“Oh, yeah. Except for the whole embarrassing myself in front of a member of SHINee thing, it was really cool.” Glancing back to him, she answered, smile lingering. 

“How do you think we did?” He asked. “As a fan..” He added. 

“Well,” she paused to tease him with a moment of suspense, “I thought you did really well out there today.” 

“Really?” He seemed surprised, but also unsurprised. 

“Yeah, you guys looked and sounded great. I know you guys have worked really hard preparing for performances like that. I mean, do you have any idea how many times you’ve told me things like ‘Sorry, I was at rehearsals.’ Or ‘Sorry, I need to go to dance practice.’ I’ve seen how hard you work. Even if you hadn’t talked to me about it, it shows when you perform.” She smiled at him, laying her hand over his. Glancing down at her hand on his, he followed up on his previous question. 

“What did you think of me?” She bit her lip and looked to the side. 

“Honestly?” She asked. He nodded. “I thought you were pretty darn great out there. I mean like A plus, very nice. You looked like a dream and everything sounded great so yeah…” She trailed off at her confession concerning her true reaction to his performance. 

“A dream?” A cocky grin was growing on his face. She looked away, fighting her own smile.

“Yes. Try not to get a big head about it but believe it or not, I am actually attracted to you.” She deadpanned. 

“But to call me ‘a dream’, you must really like me.” He said, leaning over the gearshift with that same cocky grin. “Like really like me.”

“Maybe I do.” She said, leaning in a little as if she were telling a secret. 

“Good. I really like you too.” He leaned in even further, far enough to press his lips to hers. Hints of strawberry lingered on her lips and tongue from the bingsu they ate earlier in the afternoon. Her hand over his began moving up his arm then skipped right to his neck, resting there. A few moments later, she began to pull away and he was ready to chase her lips but a light pressure from her hand on his neck caused him to stay put and look over her face. 

“I-” She breathed, trying to get her words out, “I love you.” Watching those deep brown eyes, she waited for any sort of response. Her worry didn’t even ease when he smiled.   
“I love you too.” He put a hand on the side of her face, rubbing his thumb over her cheek for a moment. He pushed her hair behind her ear and she put her hand over his again as it rested against her cheek. 

“You really mean it?” She asked, genuinely scared of what he might say to that. He nodded and ran his thumb across her cheek again, his eyes watching every move in her face. 

“I really mean it.” Closing her eyes, she felt a small smile return to her face at his confirmation. She felt him kiss her uncovered cheek, lips lingering against her skin. “I really love you.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chanyeol reveals his surprise for her birthday but Ivy thinks it might be too much. They have a heart to heart and set some boundaries.

Ivy swears her smile lasted for weeks after that afternoon in his car. 

Chanyeol stayed busy for a few weeks afterward, and as her birthday approached, he still wouldn’t reveal anything about his plans. 

After three weeks with only texts and nightly phone calls between them, her birthday was right around the corner, that coming saturday. Ivy sat on her bed that thursday before her birthday, her laptop and a notebook in front of her. Fresh out of the shower, she had sat right down to study, a towel draped around her shoulders and her hair still wet atop the towel. She was in the middle of letting out a tired sigh when a loud knock on her door caused her to jump. Carefully setting her laptop and book aside, she got up and stepped to her door. Hugging her towel around her, she hesitantly opened the door an inch but quickly opened it more. 

“Surprise!” Chanyeol stood outside with that dopey grin on his face. Ivy was definitely surprised, he hadn’t said anything about coming by. 

“Hey! Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” She put her arms out to hug him. If anyone else had come to see her at that hour, right after she had showered and changed and prepared to turn in for the night, she would have turned them away. As little as she’d seen of him lately, she couldn’t imagine getting sick of him. She used one hand to push the door shut behind him as they stepped into her little shoebox of a room, his head bent down so he could kiss her. 

“I got home and realized I could actually come see you tonight.” He kissed her again, unable to hold back his smile. “보고 싶었어.” I missed you. 

“ 나도 너무 보고 싶었어.” I really missed you too. She replied, still smiling from the surprise. It wasn’t until she kissed him a few more times that they let each other go, sitting down on her bed, backs against the wall. 

“What were you doing before I interrupted you?” He asked, removing his hat and ruffling his hair. 

“Just writing a little. Not homework, just extra practice.” She paused to glance at the page she had been writing on in her book. “Afterwards I was planning to probably watch a show or something, then probably call you if you didn’t call me. After that I’d probably go to sleep.” He nodded, listening. “It’s an exciting life, I know, but someone has to live it.” She smirked. 

“Let’s do that. Let’s watch a movie.” He agreed, just happy to have found some time to spend with her. 

“English or Korean, because I am not about to fight over subtitles again.” She said, remembering that time he wanted to watch a Chinese movie and they argued for a good half hour over which subtitles to use. 

“I can’t read Korean that quickly! We’re not using Korean subtitles.” She had said. 

“I can tell you what you miss in the subtitles.” He tried to argue. 

“No, it’s not the same.” Their first argument. She wished she could recall it fondly, perhaps she would many years in the future. 

They settled for an English speaking one with Korean subtitles. Minutes later they were wrapped up in the blanket off her bed with a bag of chips beside them. Unusually enough, they stayed fairly quiet through the film. Ivy was tired and had just wanted to curl up with a movie and fall asleep but a body next to her was an added plus. When Chanyeol was on his way over, he had felt the same way, tired and wanting to lay down beside Ivy and relax. But now, he was feeling a little different. 

He was nervous and trying to contain his excitement. Her birthday was in just the day after the next and his surprise started that afternoon before her birthday, but he hadn’t told her anything about it yet. After the way she reacted to him wanting to buy her a dress, he was a little afraid of how she might react to this, because it was much bigger than a dress. 

“I really love the soundtrack for this movie.” She commented over halfway through. 

“Yeah.” He said in reply, short and soft. She looked up at him with a confused expression. 

“You okay?” She asked. He thought for a moment, then smiled. “What is it?” 

“Will you get something out of my bag?” He requested, though the smile on his face made her a little nervous to look. She was closer to his backpack, so she leaned over and unzipped it.   
“What am I looking for?” She pushed the contents around with one hand. 

“A little book.” He watched her sit back up with the little black book in her hands. “Look at the paper that’s sticking out.” She opened the book and pulled out the two papers that had been sticking out the top. Looking them over, they were plane tickets. Plane tickets from Seoul to Kyoto. Ivy looked up at him with wide eyes. 

“What?” 

“You know how we were talking a few months ago about places that we wanted to see. You talked about a lot of places but I remembered you mentioning how you wanted to visit Kyoto.” She stayed quiet, looking back down at the tickets in her hands. “You wanted to visit a Buddhist temple and see the bamboo groves and the monkey park nearby. We can do all that.” 

“Why would you do that?” She spoke finally. 

“I want to. I wanted to give you a nice birthday gift.” 

“The dress was a nice birthday gift, this is- it’s- It’s an awful lot.” She looked up at him. Part of her wanted to just accept it but it felt like so much. 

“If it bothers you, you could consider it just a nice weekend for the both of us, instead of . . .” He trailed off tried to ease the situation, feeling a little disheartened. 

“I don’t know what to say to this.” She glanced down at the tickets briefly, feeling his mood dampen. Putting a hand on his arm, she continued. “I mean, it’s-”She paused, “Thank you.” Looking up at him again, her solemn expression cracked into a soft smile as a chuckle fell from her lips. “This is just so- It’s so great. Really thank you.” She couldn’t help but allow her smile to widen once she saw his return. “This is probably the best birthday gift I’ve received.”

“I don’t have to kidnap you?” He asked. She shook her head and looked at the tickets again. 

“You’re too good for me.” She said quietly, slipping the tickets back into the little book that he brought them in. 

“What? You can’t mean that.”

“I mean it. You, you’re everything. You are so much more than I am, and it amazes me everyday that you come back to me, that you would love me.” She glanced up at him as she dropped the book back into his bag. 

“Why are you saying things like that?” His smile was gone and his hands reached out to hers, the movie forgotten in the background. 

“What can I say, you caught me on an off night. It’s something that I think about.” Her fading smile had a bitter twinge to it. 

“I love you because you’re worth loving. You’re funny and smart. You have this confidence in the way you speak that makes you sound like you know everything there is to know about any topic you choose. You’re playful and sweet. You seem so nonchalant about everything but you care so much about working hard, yet to others you don’t seem to put forth hardly any effort at all. You’re incredible.” His expression was nearly pained as he replied to her. “It’s a privilege to know you and an even greater pleasure to call you my girlfriend.” She squeezed his hand in hers rather tightly as she kept her eyes shut. Although her face was pointed towards her lap, he could see the smile trying to take hold of her expression and that brought a smile creeping back onto his face. 

“Thank you.” She glance up at him again, for no more than a second, before scooting closer to him. “For loving me.” 

“It will always be a pleasure to love you.” His voice was deep and soft as if what he said was of the gravest importance. 

“Don’t say that.” She shook her head as she looked up at him. 

“But I mean it.” She could tell he meant it and she didn’t want this conversation to continue anymore than it had. 

“I know you do.” She said in the same tone. Shifting to lean up on her knees beside him, she put her hands on his shoulders as she kissed him, one hand creeping up his neck. His own arms wrapped around the lower portion of her back, gently urging her closer. After several minutes, she sat back down beside him, their thighs pressed close together. As she continued to think about how he spoke to her, she felt tears coming to her eyes. He was so gentle with her, so gentle and so serious about his feelings. They hadn’t had many moments like that, but even so, it seemed like he knew just what he needed to say. Shaking her head and blinking a few times, she tried to drive them away. “Why are you making me cry like this?” She commented, bringing a hand to her eyes and still trying to blink away the tears. 

“No, no. Please don’t cry.” He leaned down, trying to see her face while putting up a hand on her cheek. “Please don’t cry.” He spoke even softer, swiping his thumb underneath her eye. She shook her head and sniffled. 

“I’m not crying. I’m fine.” She smiled up at him. “I hope this doesn’t ruin my birthday getaway.” 

“Not at all.” His own smile returned with hers. “Do I have permission to dote on you this weekend?” 

“No. We can do the things you already mentioned but nothing more extravagant.” She said, leaning against his shoulder, a genuine smile finally back on her face.

“But you’re my girlfriend, if I want to shower you with the affection you deserve, I can.” He protested. 

“No. You can shower me with affection all you want but please only employ an appropriate amount of gifts.” She looked back up at him, a hand resting on his chest for effect. 

“You’re sweet and an absolute dream but I have to draw the line somewhere and weekend trips to Japan is my limit.” There’s something she never thought she’d say.

“Okay.” He answered dejectedly, then in seconds he turned hopeful. “But you are excited for this though, right?”

“It is hands down the best birthday gift I’ve ever received.” He couldn’t help but blush and look away at the excitement of traveling with her combined with his own satisfaction at her happiness. Inside he was congratulating himself, it was a little rocky in the beginning but she liked it. 

“Hell yeah, Chanyeol! You did it! Best birthday gift of her life!” In his mind he was cheering and patting himself on the back. But on the outside he merely smiled again and kissed her forehead and said “I’m so glad”, letting his head lean against hers. 

“Oh, jeez. I’ve got pack then.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivy and Chanyeol begin their weekend in Kyoto. Ivy wonders about Chanyeol’s intentions for their getaway.

Friday was simultaneously too soon and not soon enough. After frantically packing a few things the previous night, after Chanyeol left, she found herself having trouble making it through her classes without thinking about something else she should bring or what she was looking forward to most, being with him or being in Kyoto. 

Her classes for the day ended and she was packed and on her feet towards the door quicker than usual. She caught the elevator with two friends from the class. One was a woman in her early thirties from Sweden, Maja, and the other was a girl closer to Ivy’s age from Thailand, Hathai. All three of the women frequently went out to lunch or dinner with each other so it was no surprise when Maja asked about lunch plans. 

“I can’t today. I’ve got a plane to catch this afternoon. I’m going out of town for the weekend.” Ivy felt a little excited to admit, seeing as how the three of them rarely went anywhere except for a few cities just outside of Seoul. 

“Really? Where are you going?” Hathai asked. 

“My boyfriend surprised me with a trip to Kyoto this weekend, on account of my birthday and all.” It felt good to say that to other people. ‘My boyfriend.’ 

“No way! It’s your birthday this weekend! Why didn’t you say anything?” The two women were fairly surprised. 

“It’s Saturday and I don’t really like to make a big deal about it usually. But he was insistent that he wanted to do something really nice for my birthday.” Ivy couldn’t help smiling and blushing a little thinking about it all. 

“Who’s this boyfriend anyway? I don’t remember you talking about him much.” Hathai asked.

“Is it that guy you met when you first got here? I remember you mentioning that guy before.” Maja added. 

“Yeah, it’s that guy.” She smiled. 

“So, it’s going well with him?” 

“Oh, yeah. He’s great.” Hathai looked a little confused about who she was talking about so Ivy elaborated. “We were pen pals for a while then I came here and we met and we just really hit it off.” 

“What was his name again?” Maja asked as the elevator doors opened and the trio began walking out of the building. Ivy specifically hadn’t mentioned his name previously. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust her friends, it’s that she wasn’t sure how nosey they would get. She debated a few seconds internally about what to say. 

“His name is Chanyeol.” She admitted. 

“Seemed like you had to think about it.” Maja couldn’t help but comment. 

“I just wasn’t sure whether I should say or not.” She winced at her own admission. Now she’d done it. They’d be fools not to be nosy now. 

“Why?”

“No reason.” She mentally berated herself. Why would she say something like that? 

“Why? Is he famous? A politician’s son? Married? Please don’t say he’s married.” Maja listed out her thoughts on it. 

“No, he’s not married. But I have got to hurry home and get my stuff together before we head over to the airport, so I’m going to leave this to be continued at a later date. Okay? I’ll see you Monday.” Ivy smiled and parted ways, turning the corner down to her street. 

She had thirty minutes in her room to finish packing and change clothes. Upon her arrival home, she found a rather welcome surprise waiting for her. 

1:45 rolled around and right on time, she got a call from Chanyeol. 

“Hey babe.” She answered the phone as she was locking her door, a little surprised at her own greeting. They hadn’t reached the pet names like babe or honey, before now that is.   
“Hey. Ready to go?” His voice to her ear was like sunshine pouring down on her. It put a little spring in her step knowing he was downstairs waiting for her. 

“I’m on my way down.” 

As soon as they were sitting in the cab, he couldn’t help but stare at the skirt she wore. It had birds and bright leaves fluttering all the way around it.

“I thought you didn’t have any skirts with you?” He asked. 

“My mom mailed my favorite skirts to me and timed it just right to align with my birthday. How great is that?” He’d never seen a brighter smile looking back at him. This weekend was going to be great, he could feel it. 

Time felt like it passed so quickly when they were constantly poking at each other and finding any little thing to make fun of. Even on the two hour plane ride, they hardly stopped talking. Shades and smiles on, they left the airport in Osaka. Another quick cab ride and they were waiting on a train to take them on to Kyoto. 

Standing by for the train to arrive, she took her own bag from his hands to hold it herself for a while. She perked up at the sight of the train approaching. As she felt the rush of air cause her hair to fly out to the side a little, she also felt a hand along her upper thigh area which caused her to look up to the side with a suspicious smile.

“Did you do that to keep my skirt down or did you just want to put your hand there?” She smirked. Almost immediately his hand was in the air and he was stuttering, already scolding himself internally. 

“I just- the wind- your skirt- ” 

“I know. ” He visibly relaxed. “Although to be honest I don’t think my skirt was in that much danger of flying up… but I don’t mind.” She felt her cheeks warm at her own comments but his face was so embarrassed still. It was so cute to her how he got so shy and embarrassed and how his cheeks and ears would flush a little pink. 

Bags stowed, they sat down in their seats on the train, letting Ivy sit by the window. The city began to move away and quickly they were seeing more and more trees whiz past them outside the train window. Finally quiet, Ivy watched the scenery outside change, savoring every ounce of vibrancy that the deep green of late summer had to offer them. As the mountains grew closer, she realized the dreamy look she held on her face and felt like laughing a little at herself. 

“Chanyeol-a” She called him in a dreamy voice. She only glanced over to him when she felt him turn his head to her. “Isn’t it pretty?” He chuckled at her question, more at her tone.

“It’s prettiest here in the fall and springtime.” He commented. 

“But it’s summertime. Everything is alive and growing. It’s beautiful.” She looked back out the window. 

“It’s kind of hard to focus on the view when I have you sitting in front of me.” He grinned. 

“Shut up.” She hit his thigh and left her hand there, still looking away with a grin. She could feel him tense under her touch so she looked back at him. “You okay?” 

“Yeah.” He looked embarrassed again, a little pink tinging his ears. 

“You are okay with the touching, right?” She felt the need to ask. 

“I don’t mind it.” He paused and glanced at the little family across the aisle to his left. He seemed as if he wanted to say something but stayed quiet. 

“You’re not just saying that are you?” She realized why he was a little nervous as she asked him. The mother in the little Japanese family beside them threw them a judgemental look, eyeing Ivy’s hand on Chanyeol’s leg. Ivy returned the stern expression then softened when she looked at Chanyeol again, her hand unmoving. 

“I’m not. If I’m honest, I like how close we are.” He answered but Ivy’s mind was already moving to the source of the sudden discomfort. 

“You know, we’ve never dealt with PDA, like at all.” She mused, chuckling a little. “This could be fun.” Chanyeol had a nervous smile on his face as he felt his cheeks warm, unsure of what she meant. “But I don’t want to cause trouble, or get stared at anymore than usual.” She turned her palm upward, inviting his hand to hers. Chuckling at the relief on his face, she leaned against him and looked back out the window. They were nearly there. 

Before they knew it, the sun had fallen behind the mountains and they were checking into the little house where they’d be staying. To Ivy’s surprise the house was entirely theirs for the whole weekend. It was a small, traditional style row house in an older neighborhood. All the houses along the street looked nearly the same. It was cosy and very much like a home. The owner, a middle aged American woman, showed them in and gave them a basic description of where things were and reminded them if they needed anything, she was only a phone call away. 

And she was gone. 

While Chanyeol dropped their bags in the little bedroom around the corner from the living room, Ivy went to look over the rest of the place. The bathroom was separate from the house and to the far back right hand corner was a little garden area. Ivy stepped outside and looked up at the ever darkening evening sky. It was just like in Seoul, hardly any stars could be seen. She felt something touch her shoulder and her eyes snapped to her side. Chanyeol had followed her. He looked up at the sky too as he put his arms around her. She leaned into him, looking back up. A few stars peeked through the city haze and the faint sound of traffic could be heard in the distance, much quieter than where she currently lived in Sinchon. It was really nice to be somewhere quiet again, well somewhere quieter. A faint rumble in her stomach reminded her that she hadn’t eaten since before their flight. 

“So, any ideas on dinner?” She asked. He too had forgotten how long it had been since he last ate, around mid morning. Before he could reply she continued. “The owner said there were a few restaurants within just a few minutes walking distance.” He nodded and began to draw away.

“Let’s go then. You get to choose where we go tonight. Tomorrow I’ve made plans.” The two began walking back into the house, through the bedroom to pick up their wallets and Ivy’s purse. Once the front door was locked and the gate shut, they started off walking down the street, hand in hand. For once they weren’t nearly as worried about him being recognized and swarmed, although Ivy had a mask for both of them in her purse, just in case. 

 

As they returned to their lodging and began to ready themselves for sleep, Ivy couldn’t help but grow nervous. She thought that maybe this trip would be when they finally grow even more intimate with each other. She had gone to use the bathroom and wash up first. Staring into the mirror above the sink, her mind raced. Did he really have any intentions like that coming here? Did he realize that she thought that he might feel that way? Did she just misread the situation? Should she have asked him directly about it beforehand? Probably. Too nervous to face him in anything else when she was so unsure, she put on a tank top and shorts but left her hair loose as she had earlier in the day. 

After washing her face and brushing her teeth, she began to walk back into the house but caught sight of herself from the side in the mirror. She glanced over herself and bit her lip, puffing out her chest and pressing her hands over her stomach and back. Turning a few ways, she looked herself over. If they were to really be so close tonight, what would he think? She nearly laughed aloud at herself for thinking such thoughts. Why would it ever matter? Dismissing any worst case scenarios that her mind tried to bring to her attention, she walked back into the house, to the bedroom. He was sitting with his phone in his hands on the edge of the bed. When she got close, he smiled up at her. That sweet, toothy grin sent a shiver through her and she couldn’t help but to smile back. 

“So, is it alright if I sleep on the outside?” she asked. The room was small and the bed was pushed up against the wall in a corner. 

“Okay.” He nodded, looking back at the bed. 

“Thanks.” Her voice was soft and quiet, fitting to the night that surrounded them. She yawned as she plugged her phone in an outlet to charge. Without a word, Chanyeol stood and gathered a few things from his bag and left the room. It was a nice, much needed quiet that Ivy felt in comparison with the ever present noise and music that she normally heard at night. After a minute or two, she decided to climb into the covers and lay on her side, still browsing a couple social media sites on her phone. A minute or two more and she heard him step around the corner and drop his discarded clothes on his bag. He stopped to plug in his phone beside hers before crawling up on the bed beside her. Propped up on his elbow, he laid on his side facing her. She rolled over to face him, discarding her phone on the little table by the bed. 

Barefaced and the both of them in nothing more than a tank top and shorts, they smiled at each other, both too lost in studying the other’s face in this rare moment of complete silence. That sweet, sleepy expression of his made her want to curl into him and sleep but damn, was it hot. She pushed her hair back and the blanket down to her waist. It wasn’t enough. 

“Ugh. Okay.” She sat up and looked at him. “Do you mind if I turn the AC up a little more? I just can’t sleep when it’s this warm and then you’re beside me - I just - you know?” He nodded back.

“Okay.” Another nod and she stepped out of bed to up the AC and promptly returned, leaving the blankets turned down and her legs bare to the warm night air and the cool rush from the AC. 

Instead of awkwardly returning to their quiet, sweet stares, she shifted closer to him, letting her hand ghost back and forth over his arm. 

“I thought you said it was too hot in here,” he commented. He let his head fall to her level, faces just centimeters apart. 

“That’s what the AC is for. Besides, it’s your fault anyway, looking like this.” She grinned, gesturing to his toned arms and he chuckled. 

“Me? You don’t think that you’ve made an impact on the temperature of this room, Miss Short Shorts.” His hand wandered down to her butt as he spoke. She might have felt her cheeks heat up if she wasn’t already so warm, instead she only felt the butterflies in her stomach. 

“You think I don’t know what I’m doing?” She whispered, leaning her lips so close to his he could nearly taste the lip balm she had just applied several minutes before.   
Nonetheless, he grew quiet, nervous about being so close with her. After that first time in her room, Chanyeol’s kisses were sweet and lingering but still chaste. Ivy always assumed it was because they were in public or he wanted to take things slow or something. At this moment though, he couldn’t think of any reasons to keep things sweet and chaste, those short shorts, her hand on his chest fiddling with his shirt, no one around, and those soft lips so close to his own. Well, he couldn’t think of any reasons except one. 

“I know you do.” He smiled and stared down at her lips, his own partly open. “I actually had a plan for the whole weekend. If you wanted to do this, I thought that we might tomorrow night.” He bit his lip as he struggled to control his breathing. 

“Oh.” Her face retreated a little.

“I thought getting dressed up and the nice dinner might provide a really nice, romantic evening. The perfect evening, for us to take that step together.” He looked away from her face, unsure how she would feel about his little plan. “If you even wanted to. It’s entirely up to you.”

“So you planned to whisk me away to Kyoto and seduce me?” She grinned and stifled a giggle.

“Well, when you say it like that.” He laughed. 

“And here I thought I was going to have to be the bold one and initiate it first.” Shifting away from him a little, she pushed some of his hair back from his forehead. “You’re such a sweetheart.” Her hand rested on his cheek, thumb brushing across his face. Leaning into him, she kissed him, sweet and lingering and chaste like he had kissed her before.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivy and Chanyeol continue their weekend in Kyoto, growing closer in more ways than one.

Her pillow was damp near where her mouth had been when she woke up. Groaning a little, she stretched her neck and legs before picking up her phone to check the time.   
8:32 AM. 

“Good,” she thought, “there’s plenty of day left.” She had a few messages from friends wishing her happy birthday. Hope even sent a message at midnight Korean time. Ivy yawned and smiled, setting her phone down again. It was always nice to wake up naturally, even better when you woke up naturally on your birthday knowing your friends were thinking about you. She rubbed her eyes and rolled over to face her lover. He was still asleep and lying on his back, mouth parted. She scooted closer to him, leaning her face against his shoulder and after eyeing his revealing tank top, put her hand on his chest. Eyes still closed, he smiled and took a deep breath. 

“Sleeping Beauty awakes.” She said smiling back at him. 

“Sleeping Beauty?” He turned his head to look at her. “Weren’t you supposed to kiss me then?” 

“I suppose I was, wasn’t I?” She propped herself up on one elbow. “I suppose we’re just going to have to do this again.” He giggled and closed his eyes, stifling his laughter as he tried to look like he was asleep. She watched him for a few seconds before leaning in to kiss him but he started laughing again. “Come on now. I thought you were an actor. Pull yourself together, man.” He pursed his lips and shook his head then was still. She took her time reaching his lips, enjoying the sight of him patiently waiting for her kiss but after several seconds she met his lips, gentle and slow like the morning. He smiled as her skin met his but quickly returning the pressure her lips gave. Wiggling a bit, he managed to slip his arm around her. His hand pressing against her back, she leaned more into him, nearly on top of him. Lips and gentle caresses only lasted so long and after a short while, gave way to tongues and heavy breaths. When he realized how heated their kiss had become, Chanyeol gently pushed her away. 

“We’ve got to stop before you make me want to spend anymore time in this bed.” He shook his head and moved to sit up. Chuckling, Ivy settled back onto the bed on her back looking up at him as he ran a hand through his hair and stretched. 

“So, Mr. Man-with-a-plan, what are we doing today? Or am I not allowed to know?” 

“We are spending the day in Arashiyama.” He scooted to the end of the bed and stood up, straightening his clothes and fiddling with his hair again. Ivy sat up and watched him. “It might be a little crowded but,” He sat down on the edge of the bed to look at her, “I was thinking we get breakfast then head over there, see the Zen temple, Tenryu-ji, then the monkey park and lunch, a walk through the bamboo groves, and a boat ride on the river.” He made a face, nervous about her reaction. “I mean, it’s up to you. Your birthday.” He trailed off. She wanted to giggle at his little nervous gestures. He really was nervous that she wouldn’t like what he had planned. 

“It sounds great, a lot for one day but it should be fun.” She smiled, wiggling a little where she sat. “I’m so excited.” He sighed and smiled, looking away, relieved. “Go on and wash up. We’ve got a lot to do today,” she urged him. Smiling, he got up, grabbed a set of clothes from his bag, and headed out to the bathroom. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She loved the feeling you get when you know you’re somewhere that’s really old, that feeling of being able to feel history and the people who had been there before. It was something that Ivy always felt she thrived on. Tenryu-ji gave her that feeling she’d been missing. Reaching the monkey park was a small trek up a hill and there wasn’t much to see as the monkeys weren’t very active in the midday heat. A little sweaty and tired, they stopped at a little local store for a drink and lunch which they ate sitting by the river on a bench. 

“You don’t really get to see much of the countries you visit, do you?” Ivy remarked between sips of her water. 

“Very rarely,” he paused, “Only a few times were we ever able to have any free time abroad. I think that just makes opportunities like this even more special, being able to visit a country and sightsee and enjoy it.” 

“I hope we can travel more together someday.” She looked out at the river and the boats passing by. 

“I hope so too.” 

They watched the river and passersby until their lunch was gone and then began the trek to where they heard the bamboo groves were. It wasn’t as crowded as they thought it might be. A few people would pass by them as they walked but the paths weren’t filled. 

Green bamboo loomed above them, blocking out most of the sunlight that rained down. Both of them were enamored with the scenery. When Chanyeol would glance at Ivy though, she had the most peaceful and happy expression resting on her face. Part of himself was still patting himself on the back for such a good trip but the other part of him was curious what made this so precious to her. What was it that made her so happy about this place? He didn’t ask though, he just walked with her and smiled. After a while, she put her arm around his and leaned closer to him. 

“Thank you,” she said. “I needed to get out of Seoul for a while.” She took a deep breath and looked up at the trees ahead and the bits of blue sky that peeked between the leaves. “I’m not used to living in such a large city. I mean, I have to really search and search just to find a tree or a patch of grass. It can get so stifling living somewhere with so little nature. I mean, I lived in the countryside my whole life. I used to play in the woods and fields as a kid. It was a really big transition to move to Seoul, so it feels really nice to be out in nature again.” 

“I’ve lived in Seoul my whole life so I’ve never known country living but I’ve really enjoyed camping in the past. I like places where you can actually see the stars.” She looked up at him when he spoke. “I like the countryside.” He smiled, softly, similar to how she had smiled at the trees before. 

“We should take a picture here,” she commented. “I want pictures of me and you, for those times when we can’t be together. I want to remember how good this day was.” 

“Okay.” He stopped and looked around. “Right here?” She nodded and stood up on her tiptoes as he held his phone out, balancing herself with a hand on his shoulder. They got a couple pictures together, smiling together and Ivy kissing his cheek. 

“Send all of those to me,” she said watching his screen as he swiped through the pictures they just took. “I kind of want some from a distance, like full body shots with the bamboo in the background.” Chanyeol looked around. 

“We could ask that guy.” He gestured to a man nearby with a rather large expensive looking camera who was taking some pictures for himself. Ivy nodded. “Who’s asking, me or you?” 

“Rock, paper, scissors?” She knew he probably didn’t want to approach a stranger either. They played. Ivy lost. Taking a deep breath, she approached the man, Chanyeol close behind her. “Excuse me, sir?” She spoke to get the man’s attention. He was an older looking gentleman who turned to them with a confused expression. “Hi. Would you mind taking our picture?” She asked with a smile, gesturing to Chanyeol and herself. 

“Photo?” He asked with a heavy Japanese accent, his hands gesturing to the two of them. 

“Yes, if you don’t mind.” She answered. He seemed happy at that point, nodding and smiling at the two of them. “Thank you so much sir.” Chanyeol added his thanks in Japanese. She showed him the camera function on her phone and went to stand by Chanyeol. A cute photo with peace signs out and a simple one with them standing side by side, hands clasped together between them and smiles on their faces. The man approached them and handed Ivy’s phone back as they thanked him again in Japanese and bowed. He smiled and nodded enthusiastically before heading on his way. Ivy glanced through the photos the man took, smiling and nodding her head. “I’ll send these to you.” She looked back up at Chanyeol, her hand reaching for his again after depositing her phone in her purse. 

“We ought to be heading back if we want to have that boat ride today. It’s getting late and we need to be back in Kyoto by six,” Chanyeol said. “We’ve got dinner plans.” 

“Oooh. Is that where the dress comes in?” she asked as they headed back the way they had come. 

“Yes, I suppose it is.” He smiles a toothy grin at the walkway ahead of them. After a while they arrived back at the river’s edge and found a covered boat to take them on the river. While Ivy and Chanyeol sat at the back, an older woman and two young girls sat on the bench in front of them, facing the bow of the small boat. As they got underway, Ivy couldn’t help but wonder about something. 

“I’m curious,” she began, “Did you really have all this planned when you took me shopping that night? Or did you just want an excuse to buy something for me?” Chanyeol glanced to her and away again, then back to her. 

“I was coming up with a plan as we went along. I didn’t approach the night with that plan but I thought of it while we were out together.” He briefly took his hat off to run his hand through his hair. 

“I knew it.” She looked away from him at the scenery around them. Chanyeol couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

“Like you actually knew.” He scoffed playfully. 

“Okay, well maybe not exactly. I thought you might get me flowers and take me to a nice dinner but this,” she paused and turned to him with a smile, “This is nice too.” 

“This is really nice,” he confirmed, putting an arm around her shoulders. “Besides, after the comeback and promotions and how busy I was, I think we both needed this trip.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour or two later, they were back at the house, both readying themselves for the nice birthday dinner that Chanyeol had planned. While Ivy was in the bathroom cleaning up and taming her hair after the wind off the river blew it around, she heard a knock. 

“I’m going to leave and come right back. Okay?” Chanyeol asked from the other side of the door. 

“Okay?” Ivy replied, confused. “You gonna tell me where you’re going?” A moment of silence passed as he thought. 

“No. It’s part of the surprise,” he answered. “I’ll only be gone a few minutes,” he added further away from the door. 

“I wonder what that was about.” She thought aloud. “He’s probably getting cake or something.” 

By the time he returned, she was sitting on the bed, fully dressed and ready to go, while she scrolled through her phone. She knew exactly when he was back as she heard his footsteps through the house. His footsteps and his loud “I’m back!” following the sound of the front door. Really wanting to make an impression when he saw her all dressed up, and to make herself feel a little more sexy, she leaned back on one hand nonchalantly with her legs crossed so the skirt would ride up a little. She heard him stop in the kitchen before walking around the hall to the bedroom. He halted a few steps into the room, face unchanging as he looked her over while she acted like she hadn’t seen him. With her eyes still on her phone, she didn’t notice how he smiled a little and swallowed as he stood there for a moment before clearing his throat and continuing into the room. She looked up with a grin. He was already dressed for dinner as well, wearing a suit, no tie and the first button undone. 

“Hey, you’re back.” He just smiled back at her. It was that sweet smile that he always had, sweet and genuine.

“Yeah,” he paused to look at her dress again, “you look really nice tonight.” He turned to check his hair in the mirror on the wall near the door. “Where did you get that dress?” Smiling, she stood up.

“My boyfriend bought it for me. He’s a real gem.” She stepped up behind him, hand reaching out to glide up his back. 

“He must be really handsome to get a girl like you.” He looked at her beside him in the mirror. 

“Oh, he is. I think he might be even more handsome than you.” He twisted his torso to look at her. She chuckled at the expression on his face, somewhere between a playful smile and confusion. “I bet you’re a better kisser though.” His expression didn’t change, still slightly confused or perhaps choosing not to act on the situation. As she put a hand on his cheek he chose to embrace it- her. He was blushing as he leaned his head down a little, even though she still had to lean up on her tiptoes to kiss him. In seconds, his hands were drifting over her sides and he bent down even more. Both of them were hyper aware of everywhere they touched the other and even though they were pressed together, it wasn’t enough.They knew how to fix that urge but they knew they had dinner to get to. Nonetheless, they continued their kissing until his phone rattled against the wood table by the bed, pulling them both back to reality. He stepped away and picked it up, his breathing uneven. 

“The group chat with the other members. It’s nothing though.” He looked up to her, seeming a little discontent. 

“Don’t we have dinner to get to?” Ivy said, returning to the moment. He checked his watch.

“Yes. Very soon. We should leave.” He looked into the mirror to fix his hair again. She leaned over to check her lipstick as he moved away and straightened his jacket. Quickly grabbing her purse off the bed and followed him out to the front doors. He stopped to pull his shoes on when she saw his face and laughed. 

“Come here.” She held a hand towards him as he looked up at her confused. Standing up straight, he stood as she put a hand on his face, her thumb wiping a spot close to his mouth. “As handsome as you are, wearing my lipstick out to dinner might draw attention.” She smiled as she stepped away to put on her own shoes, not noticing how he smiled after her. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

Dinner was flirtatious. It seemed that the day had only become more and more flirtatious as it went on. Once they both knew the other had the same idea, there was no letting go of it. Hence, dinner was filled with cute smiles and suggestive comments. It was hard for her to balance her attention with how incredibly good the food was and his amorous remarks, which she returned. Dinner was followed by a sudden quiet, coyness on the ride back to the house as if the both of them had suddenly allowed the nervousness of their first time with someone finally hit them, instead of a gradual creeping feeling like many people experience. Suddenly too nervous to do anything risque in the back of the cab they were in, Ivy took his hand in hers, holding it on her lap almost like an invitation. As they grew close to their destination, he moved their clasped hands back and forth a little against her thighs. His lips were fighting a smile when she glanced up at him. 

As the cab was paid and driving away, they walked back to the door. Ivy unlocked the door and they stepped inside the entryway. He shut the door and locked it for the night behind them. Instead of immediately removing her shoes and continuing in, Ivy turned to look at Chanyeol, her stomach flipping when he looked back. She bit her lip, the butterflies in her stomach growing more active as she took a few steps towards him. She didn’t have a witty quip to approach him with this time, just a bold statement as he met her halfway. 

“I love seeing my lipstick smeared on you.” Her voice came out soft, just seconds before their lips met. It gave her a rush like that first time they kissed, the adrenaline of something new. But this time, this kiss was like a forest fire. It ignited everything it touched and nothing was safe. His hands held her neck and face, while her own pulled him closer by his waist, fingers digging into his shirt where it met his pants. Breathing heavy, Chanyeol pulled his lips away and turned his head a little, smiling. She paused as well, but for a shorter period. As quickly as they had started and stopped again, she ghosted her lips along his neck, leaving soft kisses as she went. He exhaled deeply and willed his eyes open again. 

“I have something for you in the kitchen.” His hands rested on her upper arms and he looked down at her. 

“Is that why you went out earlier?” she asked. He nodded. 

“Go sit in the bedroom.” He smiled and gestured with his head in the direction of the bedroom. Smiling back, she felt her cheeks heat up as she took her shoes off and they parted ways in the living room. So, she sat and waited a few moments on the edge of the bed. When she heard his footsteps coming closer to the bedroom, she quickly stopped checking her hair in the nearby mirror and acted casual. He hit the light switch as soon as he could reach it, a cupcake with a lone candle becoming the only illumination in the dark room. “Happy birthday!” Ivy could only giggle as he sat down next to her with it. “I should have told you happy birthday this morning. I could have been the first.” 

“Actually, I got a message from my friend back home before you woke up, so, either way, you weren’t the first,” she paused, “but you were the only one I spent the day with and today was great.” He smiled. 

“Did you want to sing? Or?” he asked, handing her the cupcake.

“No. Don’t sing. I never know what to do when people sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to me.” She looked to the candle and closed her eyes for a few moments, making her wish. ‘I wish that this year I will become a more happy, capable, and confident me.’ She smiled when she’d made her wish and blew the candle out. Chanyeol gave a little cheer and clapped, which only made her laugh. He turned on the light and sat back down. 

“This one’s strawberry and vanilla but there are three more different ones in the kitchen if you want a different flavor.” She shook her head.

“I like strawberry.” She started eating on her cupcake and Chanyeol left momentarily to get his own from the kitchen. A couple minutes of quiet cupcake eating later, Ivy tossed both their cupcake wrappers into the little trash bin behind the door and returned to where she previously sat. There was a moment of silence as the both of them tried to think of what to say or do. 

“Did you really intend on doing something like, you know, this weekend?” she asked, leaning back on her hands. He smiled and looked at his lap. 

“I thought about it but I didn’t plan for it. I mean, I’m prepared but it was just a possibility,” he paused. “I made a playlist.” He looked to her this time before pulling out his phone and showing it to her. “I was thinking about you one night and this just sort of happened.” 

“Nice,” she scrolled through the songs, impressed and even more turned on by the fact that thinking of her inspired such a sultry compilation of songs. “It’s titled ‘With my darling’.” She couldn’t help but point it out, enjoying the cute embarrassment on his face. “You wanna play it?” she asked. 

“Yeah,” he answered, mouth parted as he took in that smile of hers that she has right before she does something mischievous or a little naughty. That smile would be the death of him. He hit play on the first song and leaned forward, reaching across her to put his phone on the bedside table. She smiled catching him watching her lips as he leaned towards her. Putting a hand on his cheek, she closed the distance between them and kissed him again. The feeling from before returned, the fire spreading again but this time she could feel herself reaching for it, wanting every bit of the flames. As they pressed closer together, lips never parting, her hands drifted down to his shirt, slowly but surely unbuttoning it. She’d nearly gotten halfway, when he abandoned her lips in exchange for her neck and she could hardly form a coherent thought as he sloppily made his way from her neck to her bare shoulder. She had been tugging the dress up all night, a little paranoid about what people might think of seeing her bare shoulders but this, this is what this neckline was made for, she thought. One of her hands went to rest on the back of his head as he continued across her collarbone, driven by her heavy breathing and soft incoherent murmurs. It was only when she felt one of his hands gripping the zipper on the back of her dress that she felt any sort of nerves like what she felt in the entryway. 

“Yeol,” she said trying to calm her breathing. He leaned away, a concerned look on his face. 

“Is something wrong? We can stop.” His hands relaxed down to her waist as he studied her face. 

“I just wanted to say something before any of this goes any further. Okay?” He nodded. “It takes me a while to open up to people, you know that. There are very few people I trust wholeheartedly in the world, very few people that I share my hopes and dreams and fears with. My parents. My sister. Hope. And in the eight months that I’ve known you, you managed to make the list. It took Hope four years for me to really open up with her but somehow you managed to reach my heart in even less time and I saw her everyday.” She can feel herself losing control of breathing and tries to take a few deep breaths to calm herself. She shook her head, chuckling awkwardly. “I don’t know why I’m getting like this.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway, I- I’m trying to say that I trust you. I feel happy whenever I see your face or you enter a room, or I even hear your voice. I love being around you. I want to be with you.” She smiled gently, nervous as to what he would say. The few moments before his reply felt like whole minutes went by. 

“I love you. You know I could talk about how much I love you for days. I could write so many songs about it, and I probably will.” They both chuckled at that. “But, I feel like how I feel with you is something that I’ve been wanting for a long time, like the kind of romance that I used to daydream about. That’s why I really want to make this last.” Neither could find the will or reason to contain the smiles that they managed to put on the other’s face. 

“We got so serious. If I didn’t know any better I might think you were trying to make me cry saying such sweet things.” She bit her lip and watched his smile. 

“You started it.” 

“And I’m going to finish it, because there’s something else we started that we need to finish.” Her hand on his neck began to slide down, joining her other at the buttons on his shirt. Too nervous to look him in the eye, she focused on unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way. He couldn’t help biting his lips in anticipation as he watched her, his own hands still lingering on her hips. As the last button separated from its buttonhole, he helped her pull the shirt from his shoulders, tossing it to the side. For a moment they were silent, her looking at him and him watching her reaction to him. 

“And you…,” he said finally, locking gazes with her. She shifted, still sitting, so that her back faced him. Pulling her hair aside she felt him scoot closer, one of his legs folded in front of him on the bed so that he could face directly at her. His hands, since the first time she felt them, had been clumsy and comforting but they were so close to being her undoing. The zipper of her dress came down slowly. When he reached the end and the fabric began to pull away, and his knuckles brushed their way up her spine, she knew she was done for, letting a breathy sigh leave her. And when his hands flattened against the smooth skin of her shoulder blades and slid to push her dress down, she knew her previously bold flirtations were about to be outdone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ivy’s dress is something like this http://n1s1.hsmedia.ru/e6/76/4d/e6764d9c41c48ef4db45959efb139401/401x512_0_a8b7d85d4351bc08c222de7dff71c428@401x512_0xc0a8393c_9357954901370464570.jpg


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivy receives some shocking news from back home and turns to Chanyeol to help her pick up the pieces. (featuring D.O and appearances by a number of other EXO members)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was really important to me to write because it is heavily inspired by something that happened to me recently. I’m not far from home but it still hurt like it hurt Ivy. I suppose this was just my way of coping with it. It’s pretty sad but also comforting with some lighter parts towards the end.

Their flight back to Seoul left at four in the afternoon. The word content wasn’t quite strong enough to describe the pleasant atmosphere that surrounded the two of them. Seemingly nothing could ruin their happy little weekend. Not a delay on their flight or their train into Tokyo breaking down. Not that any of these things actually happened but even if they did, they probably wouldn’t be able to bring them down from that cloud of contentment that they’d been floating on for the whole weekend. 

“This is the longest amount of time we’ve spent with each other.” Ivy pointed out on the plane back to Seoul. 

“We’ll have even longer times in the future. I know it,” Chanyeol commented, fiddling with her small hand in his. 

“I know.” 

Their cab headed to her place first, back to the hustle and bustle and noise of Seoul. Finally switching her phone off airplane mode, she noticed a few missed calls from her mom. 

“That’s weird,” she muttered. Usually if she didn’t answer, her mom would send a text or something. But this time, only five missed calls. “My mom has called me five times in the last half hour.” She glanced up at Chanyeol beside her for a moment before staring puzzledly at her phone. 

“You should call her back if she’s that eager to reach you.” He seemed mildly concerned but a jolt of fear struck through Ivy. What if something was wrong back home? She glanced out the window. They were just around the corner from her place. 

“I’ll call her as soon as I get in the door.” She took a deep breath, suddenly afraid of what her mother might have to say. Chanyeol wanted to offer some sort of comfort but if it was something bad, he didn’t want to give her false hope. 

“Whatever it is, it can’t be the end of the world,” he tried his hand at a few comforting words. 

“Yeah,” she paused, making herself smile, determined not to let this weekend end on a bad note, “it might be something good like my sister got into college or, something.” They stopped outside her building and the driver helped her with her bag. She said good bye to him in the car, a sweet kiss and a promise to text him later. One last wave and a smile as she went inside, and the car began to drive away. 

“Goshiwon sweet goshiwon.” She thought as she pulled her small suitcase up the stairs (what with the elevator being out of service since Friday night). When she closed her door behind her and looked at her little shoebox of a room, she sighed. What if it was something really bad? She thought of her grandparents and her dogs. When she realized how quick her pulse had become, she took a few deep breaths and leaned back against her desk as she dialed her mom. She picked up on the third ring. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey mom. I’m sorry I didn’t answer earlier, I was on the plane with the friend I told you I was going on that trip with,” she paused, “But I just got back. What did you want to talk about?” 

“I hate that you can’t be here but, um,” she sounded like she had been crying, “You know how Grandpa had that cancer removed a couple years ago?”

“Yeah,” Ivy could feel her free hand shaking, so she gripped the edge of the desk. 

“We found out about a week into June that it had come back. This time in his spinal cord and his lungs.” As she spoke, her mother’s voice grew stronger and more steady.

“What do you- what does that- what?” She could feel her eyes burning with oncoming tears. 

“They said he had about a year if he did chemo.” 

“What about now? How is he now?” 

“He died today.”

“When? How?” 

“A few hours ago. He was at home. He had been getting so weak and thin these past months.” Her mother’s voice faltered and cracked. She cleared her throat and continued. “He was in so much pain,so much pain. He took a few too many painkillers and went to bed. It was very peaceful. Grandma was with him.” The tears had just begun to spill over when she slid down into her chair, her free hand turning to grasp at the edge of the seat.

“That’s good. It’s good Grandma was with him.” Ivy tried her best to control her breathing but it still turned to short gasps as she fought the sobs that wanted to take over. There was a long silence. “Did he do it on purpose?” Ivy asked quietly.

“We don’t know. He didn’t say anything to Grandma.” They were quiet again for a moment. Suddenly, her mother added, “He’s always said he didn’t want a long, drawn out death. He never wanted to drag it out and end up a burden to anyone.” 

“Yeah, he never wanted any fuss. We always joked that he’d be the one to outlive us all.” She tried to laugh remembering how he’d always complained about how he was dying. He’d been saying he was dying for the last thirty years, long before he ever had any health problems. They stayed quiet for a minute or so. Neither woman knew what to do or say, though they wanted to comfort each other, one had lost a father and the other a grandfather. “How’s Grandma holding up?” Ivy asked, sniffling. 

“She’s sitting by him now, holding his hand. She said she wants to stay with him for a while before we call the funeral home. She’s doing pretty well under the circumstances.” 

“How are you though?” Ivy wanted so badly to be home so that she could comfort her mother and sister like she should, like she wanted. 

“I’ll be fine. We’ll all be fine. He’s not in any pain anymore so, that’s good. I’ll be okay.” She mostly wanted to comfort her daughter who couldn’t be there to grieve with the rest of her family. 

“When will the funeral be?” 

“In about three days.” 

“Remember what I told you about embalming. Don’t let them trick you into paying for it. You don’t need it if he’s going straight into the ground after the funeral service.” Ivy continued to sniffle and shake a little as she spoke. 

“Are you okay baby? Will you be okay?” Her mother meant ‘will you be okay not being at the funeral? Not being there to say goodbye to one of the most influential people in your life?’ 

“I’ll live. Will you tell him I miss him? Tell him goodbye for me?” Ivy let her tears fall, suppressing any sound that tried to signal how badly she needed to cry. 

“Of course I will.”

“You should be with him while you can, for the both of us.” 

“Are you going to be okay, right now? Do you want me to stay on the phone with you for a while?” 

“I’ll be okay, ma. Just tell everyone I miss them. Tell Grandma and Grandpa I love them, okay?” She was really close to breaking down now. 

“Okay, baby. I love you. You can call me at anytime, whenever you need me.” 

“I know. Love you, mom. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Love you too.” And Ivy hung up. Leaning forward over her desk, she let the floodgates open and sobbed, her chest heaving with short gasps. 

“I wasn’t there. I wasn’t there.” She kept repeating to herself. She sat at her desk with her head between her hands sobbing until every bit of her head hurt and her eyes burned. By the time her breathing slowed to a normal pace, it had been about an hour and a half since she had arrived home and there was a puddle on her desk beside her phone. She grabbed a towel hanging nearby and wiped it across the desk before taking it to her face, wiping her nose. Glancing in the mirror, she frowned at how blotchy and swollen her face looked. Opening the little fridge beneath her desk, she looked for a bottle of water. When she realized she was out, she nearly started crying again. Shaking her head, she stood up, breathing deeply a few times, and picked up her purse. She’d just have to walk down to the convenience store and pick up a few things to restock her little fridge. 

As she left the building, she put in one ear bud, tucking the other one in the collar of her shirt. Remembering one of her grandfather’s only requests concerning his burial, she decided to listen to the artist whose tape he wanted buried with him, songs that she had heard many a time growing up. She kept it on as she walked the short distance to the store, even while she was walking around the little shop. Then one came on that caused her to stop and stare blankly down in front of her. She recognized it immediately, the song he said he wanted played at his funeral. The very tape he wanted to be buried with. She mouthed along with the words as she fought to keep the tears out of her face while she was still in public. 

“I saw the light, I saw the light, no more darkness, no more night. Now I’m so happy. No sorrow in sight. Praise the Lord, I saw the light.” She even sang a little softly, like a whisper, so the two other people that were around wouldn’t hear her. Blinking her eyes to wipe away any growing tears, she shook her head and wiped her face. 

“No,” she told herself, willing herself to not show any tears. “Come on, just hurry up and get out.” She willed herself to the counter to check out. The clerk, a young man, probably close to her age, seemed a little concerned as her scanned her items and bagged them. She could imagine how her face looked though she didn’t want to. She politely thanked him and began to walk out. Feeling better being outside of her little room, she decided to walk for a while before going back. She let music play in her earbuds again, listening to a couple playlists she would listen to when she was feeling down. People were out and about, enjoying what was left of the last night of the weekend before the boredom of the work week resumed Monday morning. She watched people as she walked aimlessly through the neighborhood. Passing all the little shops and bars, she thought she might be able to go back without falling apart. 

Not realizing her phone was on shuffle, a song came on, “You’ll Never Walk Alone”. Even if she hadn’t been so emotional that evening, that song might have brought tears to her eyes. As soon as she began to tear up, she ducked down into the subway station and to the side away from everyone else. Taking out her phone, she pulled up her text conversation with Chanyeol. “I can’t go back to that room tonight,” she thought. She sent him a message. 

“Busy?” In a little under a minute, he replied. 

“Did you miss me already? ;)” 

“Something happened. I don’t want to be alone tonight. Can I come over?” She asked, heading for the gates, intent on getting a head start to his place. Instead of texting her, he called. 

“Hey” She answered softly. 

“What happened? Are you okay?” He sounded worried. 

“I’m okay, I guess. It was bad news, from my mom,” she took a deep breath before explaining, “My grandad died today. I’m the only one who wasn’t there. All the family is home, except me. I wasn’t there.” Her voice started to crack and her chest began to heave again. 

“Where are you now?” 

“I’m in the subway station near my place. I don’t want to go back to that little closet and be alone. I just, I can’t tonight.” She was so close to breaking apart again. “No, not here,” she told herself over and over again in her head, “not in public.” She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. 

He told her which stop to get off at. He’d wait for her outside the station. It was a quiet ride. In just fifteen minutes, she was stepping out at his stop. Not bothering to text him that she was there, she just walked on out. Looking around, she stood outside on the pavement, waiting patiently. Shortly after she had stepped out of the station, he came across the street. Illuminated only by the streetlights, she could see his face under his cap, worried and distressed. She only smiled bleakly when he was close enough to her. She reached out a hand to him but he passed it to hug her, his arms around her neck and shoulders. 

“I’m so sorry,” he said quietly. She swallowed and hugged him back a little. 

“It’s okay. Let’s go, okay? Get off the street,” Ivy muttered, pulling away. 

“Here,” he said pulling his jacket off and putting it on her, taking her bag from her as he did. “Just in case anyone should recognize me.” He pulled the hood up over her hair and straightened his own hat. Putting his arm around her, he started them walking in the direction of the dorms with her little grocery bag in his other hand. She slid an arm around his waist and let him hold her as they walked. Her resolve not to cry in public struggled to continue just a few minutes longer as he led her into his building and to the elevator. A quick ride up and they were walking up to the door.

“Since we had the weekend free, most of the other members went to visit family. A few are still around but no one who rooms with me. I don’t think anyone else is home yet.” He unlocked the door and showed her in. He was worrisome and fidgeting as she slowly made her way inside, looking around. This was her first time seeing where he lived. It was only slightly cleaner than you would expect the dwelling of nine young men to be. Chanyeol seemed really nervous showing her in. “I wish I could have cleaned before you came over,” he muttered watching her pull the hood of his jacket down. 

“Sorry,” she spoke softly, almost inaudibly as she walked through the living room, seeing a few of the trophies they’d won over on the bookshelf and the laundry on the drying rack by the window. “No one else is home?” she turned to him again. 

“I don’t think so. Anyone could come home at anytime though,” he answered, stepping close enough that he could touch her. 

“Could we just go to your room?” she asked, afraid of letting herself go and one of his bandmates walking in to see her sobbing. He nodded, biting at the inside of his cheek. Taking her hand, he led her down the little hall and into the room he shared with Kyungsoo and Jongin. As they stepped in, he gestured to the bed to the immediate left. 

“This one’s mine.” He set her bag by the end of his bed, out of the way. Without saying anything, she sat down on the bed, holding his jacket close around her and staring ahead. He sat beside her and almost immediately, she leaned against him. It only took a few seconds more for her to suddenly sob again, finally letting herself break now that she was in the quiet, peace and private of his room. Chanyeol felt his own eyes water hearing her cry so intensely. He put his arms around her, petting her hair as she cried. 

“I wasn’t there. I wasn’t there,” she gasped quietly between sobs. She started to gradually quiet down, meanwhile quiet tears had made their paths down Chanyeol’s cheeks. 

“You couldn’t have known it was going to happen,” he tried to console her but he didn’t know much else to do but hold her and let her cry. 

“He built me a little playhouse in the backyard when I was five,” her voice was still unsteady but she had relaxed significantly. They sat on his bed with their backs against the wall. She finally lifted her head from his shoulder and leaned her head back against the wall. “It was blue with a pink door. He had more home videos of me when I was little than any other of his grandkids, or his kids,” she paused to sniffle and wipe her nose on his sleeve. “He was always so proud of me, graduating from high school with honors, going to college, studying abroad,” her voice broke remembering how far she was from home and she let out another sob or two. “Now, I’m the only one not there. I can’t afford to fly back in time for the funeral. I won’t get to see him and say goodbye.” She started to wipe one of her eyes with the sleeve of his jacket and he wiped the other with his thumb. 

“I’m so sorry,” he had no clue what he should say or what she needed to hear or what he should do. He kissed her temple and pressed his face against her hair. 

“I know you’re probably sick of me at this point, but could I just stay with you tonight. Sleeping alone will just end up with me crying more.” Chanyeol prayed that he would never hear her like this again, sobbing till she felt sick, her voice weak and soft. 

“I’m not sick of you. You can stay anytime,” he nodded. She smiled at that, a weak smile but a smile nonetheless. 

“Mind if I borrow some clothes to sleep in? This was kind of a last minute decision so I didn’t come prepared.” She sat up and looked to him. He nodded and pushed himself off the bed. After fumbling through a couple drawers he produced a sleeveless shirt and a pair of shorts. 

“I’ll leave so you can change.” He handed her the clothes and backed up to leave the room. 

Ivy couldn’t help but feel bad dragging Chanyeol into her own personal troubles, but who else was she supposed to lean on. She wasn’t that close with anyone else in Seoul, not even any of the ladies from her classes. The thought of burdening Chanyeol made her eyes want to water again. She stood beside his bed in his clothes, tightening the drawstring on the waist of the shorts he gave her to wear when someone began to walk in. Kyungsoo had opened the door but upon seeing Ivy standing in their room began to immediately walk out again. 

“Wait! I’m decent. It’s fine. You’re fine.” She didn’t want to put him out of his own room and she was fully clothed. He stepped back in and bowed.

“I’m sorry. Chanyeol was in the kitchen. I didn’t know you were here.” He didn’t move past his initial two steps into the room. 

“It’s okay. He should have said something if he saw you were home,” she smiled a little, trying to ease the awkward situation. 

“Are you alright?” he stared at her face, noticing the remnants of her crying spells. 

“I got some bad news from back home and I’m kind of having a rough night, so I’m staying with Chanyeol. I’m not here for anything weird, I just didn’t want to be alone, you know?” She shook a little just talking about how she felt. He nodded and stared at her, unsure of what to say. “Just pretend I’m not here.” She smiled to him again before picking up Chanyeol’s jacket and her phone and leaving the room. 

A few people were home. Kyungsoo, she ran into. Baekhyun walked past her as she went to the kitchen. He gave her a smile and little bow as he went presumably to his room. Jongin and Minseok were in the kitchen with Chanyeol when she walked in. They gave her smiles and bowed as they greeted her, which she returned as she stepped over to stand beside where Chanyeol leaned on the island counter-top. The boys talked for a few minutes about their schedule for the next day, which wouldn’t start till midday. After a few minutes and a pause in his conversation with the other guys, Chanyeol looked to Ivy, standing there patiently listening but obviously uncomfortable. 

“You okay? Does your head hurt?” he stood up straight and watched her face.

“Yeah,” she nodded. 

“You want anything for it or,” his question trailed off.

“I probably just need some water. Need to rehydrate,” she tried to smile again, keep things lighter than they were in front of the others. He grabbed a bottle of water for the both of them and left the kitchen, settling the both of them in the living room on the couch. He offered to watch a movie or play a game or just something to distract her from how bad she felt. She wasn’t interested, opting to sit the quiet of the house. Everyone else was going about their business, doing their own activities, eating, showering, or enjoying some time to themselves. Even though after a short period of time, most of them were home, nearly everyone was quiet or in the bedrooms, everyone was avoiding the living room. But Ivy couldn’t complain, she really didn’t feel like interacting with all of them that night, especially all of them at once. 

Chanyeol had his laptop, checking various social media at first, then moving on to fiddling with a few tracks. He knew if Ivy wanted to talk, wanted his attention, she would tell him, but right now she just didn’t want to be entirely alone. He sat on one end with his feet propped up on the coffee table, while she laid across the length of the couch on her back, with her head nearer him. They were quiet for a long while, except for the clicks of his keyboard and background noise of laughter and conversations in other rooms. She stared up at him occasionally. Part of her thinking about how her grandfather might have felt about Chanyeol. He would have liked him. They actually had a few similarities. Hard workers that would always rather put forth a smile than let others worry about them. Optimistic but worriers at heart. Bright and friendly, people like them never know a stranger. She caught herself smiling at him from there, but he caught her too. 

“What is it?” he laughed, looking down at her. She thought for a second, what to say. 

“Two things,” she paused, “One. You look funny from this angle.” 

“Two?” 

“I think he would have liked you.” 

“Your grandfather?” he turned his head to the side to better face her. 

“Yeah. I think he would have liked you. I think you two would have gotten along,” her smiled faded slightly. “You know, he never went to any of his sons’ weddings, only his daughters’. My mom even got him to wear a pink bowtie and a white suit at her wedding. He didn’t like the pink,” she chuckled a little, “I guess, I always figured he would be at mine.” She sighed, at least she didn’t have the urge to cry again. Looking back up at him, she smiled again and giggled this time. “I can see all the way into your nose from here.” He laughed and covered his face. Eventually they both quieted and she sat up beside him, crossing her legs and mimicking his pose with his feet on the table. 

“Remember this morning when you flipped out about the spider in the bathroom?” Ivy asked him. 

“It was a big spider,” he reminded her, much louder than the rest of their conversation. 

“It wasn’t that big,” she reminded him at a normal volume, leaning her head on his shoulder. “I wish I could go back to that. Everything felt great this morning. The only bad thing I could think of was that it was going to end but I didn’t think it was going to end like this.” Again at a loss for words, Chanyeol put a hand up to pet her hair. She held his hand, taking it from her hair to press it to her lips briefly, from there letting it fall to her lap. “Thank you for everything,” she whispered. 

“We’ll have more times like this morning, hopefully not with the spider.” Both of them smiled. “And as long as I’m around, you’ll have a shoulder to cry on.” Still smiling, she pressed her face against his shoulder with a gentle hum of appreciation. 

They never went back to his room. Instead, they ended up lying together on the couch, Ivy wrapped up in his arms, their faces close.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After learning about the death of her grandfather, Ivy spends some time alone. While thinking about the future, she starts worrying about whether she would want to stay in Korea in the future.

She woke up before him. Upon yawning and looking around the quiet living room, she realized she was lying on top of Chanyeol, one of his arms slung across her and the other hanging of the edge off the couch. Realizing she needed to use the bathroom, she carefully began crawling down and off him. He stirred a little. Gently shushing him, she pushed his hair from his face. She knew he must have fallen asleep after her. They were awake rather late. He settled again, bringing both his arms up, crossing them over his torso. Smiling at his sleeping face, she stood up and tiptoed to what she thought was the bathroom. 

After knocking once, the door swung open to a barely clothed Junmyeon, seemingly fresh out of the shower. Their eyes both widened and quickly averted their gaze from the other. 

“Sorry. I didn’t think you were up.” He stepped past her towards his room. 

“I just woke up. Chanyeol’s still asleep on the couch,” she gestured to the living room. He nodded. 

“Well, good morning.” Junmyeon smiled, obviously holding his towel closer around his bare shoulders because of Ivy’s presence. 

“Good morning,” she returned and they parted ways. When she was finished in the bathroom, she walked back to the living room and saw Chanyeol still asleep. Shrugging on his jacket from the previous night and curious if anyone else was up, she headed into the kitchen. Her hand still on the zipper of the jacket as she zipped it up, she smiled at Sehun as he turned around to see her. His eyes went wide, not like Junmyeon, who knew she was in the apartment, but like he didn’t know she was here at all, much less walking into the same room when he thought he was alone. 

“Hello,” he greeted her formally, partially bowing to her, a box of cereal still in his hands. She chuckled a little at his surprise, and his formality. 

“Good morning.” She took a few steps further into the room and tried smiling at him. He stared at the jacket that was obviously Chanyeol’s and obviously too large for her. It was already big on Chanyeol. 

“Um, you stayed over?” he asked, unmoving. 

“Yeah. Chanyeol and I fell asleep on the couch talking last night.” She felt a rumbling in her stomach and continued before he could reply. “Do you mind if I have some cereal too?” He glanced at the cereal in his hands and shook his head. When she started forward into the kitchen again, he stopped her. 

“I’ll get bowls. You can sit,” he nodded to the adjacent dining room, “if you want.” Quietly she sat down at the table and waited for him. He set down two bowls and the box of cereal before leaving and returning with a carton of milk and two spoons. The awkward air persisting, the two of them didn’t speak for a few minutes, simply pouring their cereal and milk and beginning to eat. 

“How was Kyoto?” Sehun asked, not wanting to seem impolite by staying so quiet. 

“Really nice. I really enjoyed it there. It was almost a perfect weekend.” She smiled at his question. Now that conversation had been opened, she couldn’t help herself. “You seemed surprised when you saw me. Did you know I was here?” 

“I didn’t expect to see you walking into the kitchen then.” He stared down at his cereal. 

“If Chanyeol was up, you’d have heard him before you could be surprised to see me,” she chuckled, glancing down at her own cereal. He smiled at that, chuckling gently with her. He remembered something but debated internally whether he should share it or not. Leaning forward and grinning like the devil, he decided to share it.

“Before he met you face to face, a couple of us caught him pacing around his room rehearsing his first conversation with you.” He laughed softly, remembering Chanyeol sleeping in just the next room. Ivy smiled and laughed a little. 

“He would.” Her smile was equal parts proud and amused. “What other things like that has he done?” With a topic that amused them both, their conversation had much fewer awkward pauses. Well, until a newly awoken Chanyeol came up to the dining table, a bit confused about Ivy and Sehun’s animated conversation. 

“It’s too early to be laughing so loud.” He commented as he stepped up beside Ivy, his voice still rough with sleep. The pair suddenly quieted and smiled at Chanyeol then each other. “Good morning,” Chanyeol greeted Ivy specifically, kissing her hair as he went to get himself a bowl and a different cereal. 

“Morning.” She watched him walk into the kitchen and return to sit beside her. 

“What were you talking about?” he asked, pouring himself a bowl of cereal. 

“You,” Sehun and Ivy smiled at each other briefly.

“How much of a dork you can be,” Ivy clarified. Chanyeol just chuckled, attempting to hide his embarrassment, knowing very well how much Sehun, his friend of close to nine years, knew about him. 

“Are you going to tell me what he told you?” he asked, fiddling with his breakfast. 

“No, that would take the fun out of it.”

\------------------------------------------

After a while she was on her way home with her little grocery bag in hand as well as Chanyeol’s jacket and a Rilakkuma off his bed. While sitting on a train home, she kept looking at the plush bear in her hands. He offered it to her when he saw her smiling at them after breakfast that morning. He even gave her one of the bigger ones. She smiled a little remembering how she replied when he asked her what she was going to do.

“What I always do when things are horrible. Listen to David Bowie until I no longer feel like everything is crashing down around me,” she paused and gave him a smile, an attempt at reassuring him that she was going to be okay. “It usually doesn’t take too long. There’s no point in trying to make it to the last hour of classes today, so I think I’m just going to wander a bit and listen to music. You know, just do some thinking.” 

As ideal as wandering around the city for the afternoon seemed, she ended up sitting in the cafe down the street from her place. At a secluded table on the second floor, right beside the front windows, she sat for several hours, watching people and cars in the street and writing in a notebook she reserved for when she really felt bad. Her venting journal, it might as well have been called that, that’s all that was in it. Her thoughts began with her family and her grandparents. Would her grandmother be following her husband of over 60 years in the near future? Would Ivy be there to say goodbye to her? Would Ivy be around to see her sister graduate from high school or go to prom or have her first boyfriend?

Ivy loved Chanyeol. She loved being around him. Being physically near each other, even being in the same city, was so much better than being on opposite sides of the world. But as much affection as she had for him, she felt homesick. She wondered how much she would miss, being so far away from everything that she ever knew. Her world was so much bigger than theirs. She was living abroad. She’s travelled more than anyone in her family but still there was something calling her back home. She didn’t want to miss anything happening at home but she wanted to enjoy the adventure that comes with living outside your home country. 

She thought about her own plans for her life. A degree and career eventually. She was already halfway there but then she decided to take a year and study abroad in Korea. Her relationship with Chanyeol certainly wasn’t anticipated either. Does one ever really plan to fall in love with someone? 

Everything she thought and wrote about led her to the same questions. 

Where was their relationship going? What was their end game? Were his goals the same as hers? His career was in Korea, and it was never going to be anywhere else but East Asia.   
Could she live here forever?

She didn’t know how to answer that question. 

Even more sad and confused than when she arrived, she sat there until eight in the evening, when she had worked herself up to the point where her anxiety made her question their entire relationship. Where were they going? Would they really go anywhere? Yeah, they felt great up until now but what about ten years from now? What about a year from now? Did he want the same things that she did? Her mind was racing with questions, fueled, ultimately, by their own mortality and her homesickness. She couldn’t take the uncertainty and texted him, asking if his schedule was over yet. Close to forty five minutes passed before she received a reply. He was headed to his studio now, if she wanted to see him. Within seconds of reading it, she was up and gathering her things. 

When she reached the door of his studio, she knocked and waited, wringing her hands and shifting back and forth on her feet. Her shifting stopped when he opened the door, smiling at her. He was tired, she could see it in his eyes. She could feel it when he hugged her not as tight as he did when she left the dorm earlier in the day. 

“Have you eaten tonight? I left practice and picked up some food on my way here. I have some left if you want any,” he offered as he led her into the main room. She shook her head as she looked around the studio for the first time. Although she liked it and wanted to smile, her anxious thoughts just came back, screaming to be put at the forefront of her mind. He watched her, standing there quietly, observing the room. “Are you okay?” He was wary, unsure what was wrong. She seemed nearly fine when she left. 

“Yeah,” she answered her default response then remembered who she was speaking with. “No. I don’t know.” She sat down on the couch against the wall. 

“What’s wrong?” He pulled his chair up to sit right in front of her. Putting her hands over her face for a few moments, she gathered her strength, unsure of how difficult this conversation might be to have.

“Where are we going?” She looked up at him, pleadingly, her heart pounding at such a loaded question. “What are we doing? Where are we going to be in five years?” 

“I don’t know. Together, I hope.” He reached out to take her fidgeting hands. “Why are you asking this?” 

“I was writing out my feelings and I started thinking about home and everything that I’ve missed and everything that I could miss in the future by living so far away from home. I started wondering whether I see myself in Korea in the future.” He asked and he got an answer, though it wasn’t something he was expecting or hoping to hear. His face fell at the thought of her wanting to leave and he stared down at their hands, hers continuing to fidget in his. 

“Could you see yourself in Korea in the future?” He couldn’t help but ask, rubbing her nervous hands in his.

“I don’t know,” she paused, “I can see myself with you.” He smiled a little at that. “But there are things that I always wanted in life that I can’t do here.” 

“You feel like you need to go back home.” His voice was quiet. She nodded. 

“I have things I need to do for myself. Plans that need finishing.” 

“Where do I fit in those plans?” He had a serious expression as he continued to look down at their hands. 

“I’ll finish my program here then go home and finish my degree. After that I think I’ll try to get a job in Seoul so I can come back.” They were quiet a minute or two. 

“It’ll take you about two years to finish your degree, right?” He asked and she confirmed with a nod. 

“Will you wait for me?” She watched his face, praying that this wasn’t something to turn him away. “Even if it takes two years?” He nodded. 

“I can wait, if it means you’ll come back.” 

“I just worry about the toll that having a long distance relationship will have on us.” She finally started to still her hands, squeezing his a little. 

“We were long distance before.” 

“Yeah, but not like this. Not when I know how comforting it feels just to be near you or how nice it feels when you hold my hands. How much better I sleep when you’re beside me.” She trailed off, suddenly trying to memorize the feeling of his hands holding onto hers. 

“How at ease I feel about everything when I’m with you,” he contributed. “ The feeling of your skin on mine. The comfort of your arms around me.” She smiled a little, almost pleased that he would miss her as much as she would miss him. “I’m already missing you just at the thought of you leaving.” 

“My program will last until February, so this isn’t something we have to talk about yet.” 

“Then why are we talking about it?” She could feel the solemnity in his voice without even looking at his face. 

“Because you know me, I’m always worrying about the future. I always want to plan ahead,” she paused and looked at him, smiling a little, “And most of the time, you make me focus on the present, on how much brighter my days are when I get to see you. And as much as I like to plan, I’m also very good at procrastinating, so let’s just leave it for today. Talk about it another time.” Tentatively, she brushed her fingertips across his cheek causing him to look up at her. She hadn’t been around enough to see him make expressions like this, expressions so tired and almost dispirited.

So often since they began talking, she was a source of refreshment for him. She gave him balance but the balance was offset that night. She came to him that night with only the sad reminder that they would have to part ways. 

A reminder that she was different than him. 

Korea wasn’t her home. 

Which left him with the question: could it ever be her home?


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the tour in full swing, Chanyeol gets a little forgetful when Ivy plans a special dinner for his birthday. Also, Chanyeol’s mom makes an appearance.

Weeks pass. A new course session starts and ends. The new tour is in full swing. The boys are only getting a few days scattered here and there to rest and have time for themselves. 

After that weekend in August and their conversation, they both made an effort to keep Ivy’s departure at the back of their minds, just tuck it away until next year. Chanyeol’s extended time away from Korea only made him cheerier when he could see Ivy, which wasn’t that often. They saw each other face to face twice in the past two and a half months. He usually fell asleep during their skype calls but Ivy didn’t mind, she knew he was working hard and it made him tired. 

But this weekend she was going to see him again. EXO was coming back to Korea for a few days. A few of the members had things to do in Seoul which meant Chanyeol was coming back on his birthday. Ivy had already warned him that she was going to make dinner for him, so he better come straight to her. She was so pleased with herself for arranging the whole thing. 

Ivy had never been an especially good cook. She could follow a recipe but she lacked the ambition to cook really inspiring meals. Although she’d never tried cooking Korean food on her own, she really tried this time. After all, this time she had a recipe straight from a Korean cook. This was also part of the surprise. 

The week of her finals in Level 4, about two weeks before Chanyeol’s birthday, she decided she wanted to surprise him by cooking a meal he loved as a child but she didn’t want to ask him about it for fear of giving it away. She knew his parents ran a restaurant and as slim as she believed her chances were of meeting either of his parents this way, she went for a late lunch there one day. She also thought of it as a treat for studying so hard for her finals. Part of her wanted to hype herself up and get anxious because it was his parents, whom she’d never met before, but somehow she kept herself calm. Chanyeol always spoke so highly of his parents, and they raised him so they must be great people. 

The restaurant was kind of out of the way but this was a special mission. The place was filled to the brim with pictures of him and his sister. She sat down and ordered lunch and just looked around for a little while. Being so amused with a collection of baby pictures of Chanyeol, she nearly missed seeing his mother walk from the register to an office. Willing herself to have courage, she asked the waiter if she could speak with the owner, being a friend of Chanyeol. The waiter seemed a little suspicious when she said she was a friend of Chanyeol’s but being a foreigner, he didn’t question her. When Chanyeol’s mother came out she stood and bowed deeply, introducing herself with a timid smile. 

“I’m Ivy. I’m a close friend of Chanyeol’s.” His mother’s face lit up with a smile as she reached out to shake Ivy’s hand. 

“Ah, Ivy.” She had a firm grip and a bright smile and now Ivy knew where he got his good looks from. 

“He told you about me?” Ivy was surprised. Chanyeol hadn’t mentioned talking to his parents about her, though it would be surprising if he didn’t. 

“It’s so nice to meet you. I thought Chanyeol would introduce us but you’ve come here alone.” Her tone was so cheerful, it was hard not to smile with her. Next thing Ivy knew, she was gesturing for them both to sit. 

“I was hoping to ask you a few things.” And the conversation began. They talked about Chanyeol as a child and his mother told various stories of him doing silly cute things, as well as times he got in trouble. They also had a discussion of foods that he liked and what dishes were in her range in terms of difficulty and money. They settled on a stew and his mother even wrote out a recipe on the spot for her, with extra tips and notes added on. Even though Ivy forewent her studying for the majority of the afternoon, it was still a very productive day. His mother not only insisted on giving her lunch for free but also insisted that from now on she call her 시어머니, or Mother in law. 

Back to the day in question, Sunday, November 27th, Chanyeol’s 24th birthday. 

Ivy had sent him a few messages at midnight but the main event was dinner and his gift, which was also very special. After his gift to her on her birthday, she couldn’t help but feel that she really needed to go the extra mile on his. She didn’t have the means to do something like what he did for her but she could recreate a similar feeling. 

Utilizing the communal kitchen in her building for the first time ever cooking a full meal, she evaded disaster at least three times. By the time she finished dinner, she was sweating, from stress mostly, and the building common areas were kept toasty warm once the weather started to get even remotely cold. Tasting the food one more time, she decided it was okay. Wiping her hands in a towel, she checked her phone. He still hadn’t sent word that he’d landed, it was a little after seven o’clock. 

“He should have been home by now,” she mumbled, going through her messages checking again what time he said he’d be back. She wasn’t wrong about the time. “Maybe there was traffic,” she considered. Deciding to set up a table anyway, she dumped any pots and pans she used in the sink for her to clean later. Then she waited.

And she waited, until the food on the table was cool but only looked more appetizing as she got more and more hungry. She texted him but never got any replies. She tried calling but it went straight to his voicemail. 

Eventually, Mrs. Ha came in to shut off the lights and Ivy was jolted awake from where she had fallen asleep at the table, a half eaten meal in front of her. She immediately stood up and started to gather the bowls on the table, the haze of sleep trying to cling to her. 

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize what time it was. I’ll clean this up.” Mrs. Ha watched her for a few seconds before picking up a spoon meant for Chanyeol and tasting the food. Ivy paused and waited for a reaction. Her landlady smiled gently and tried a little more. 

“Who skipped out on this meal?” she asked Ivy. 

“It’s my boyfriend’s birthday. He was coming back after working outside the country for a while. I told him to come here for dinner but he never showed. He’s not answering my texts or calls either.” The bowls in Ivy’s hands descended to rest on the table with a gentle, disappointed clank. 

“That’s a shame. This is good.” Ivy smiled at the compliment, but she felt her disappointment weighing it down. 

“I sure can follow a recipe, huh?” Like most people, she did her best to cover up her negative feelings. “I think I’m just going to clean up now.” Ivy couldn’t take anymore long silences with Mrs. Ha and took a few bowls to the kitchen. 

“You can leave the pots to do in the morning. I don’t mind. There’s not much cooking in the morning. Turn out the lights before you leave.” And she left Ivy on her own again.   
As quietly as she could, Ivy brought the dishes to the sink and began washing. The longer she stood in front of the sink the more tired and careless she got. She wanted to blame Chanyeol for ruining her plan. She really wanted to. She did everything right but he wasn’t there. Yeah, it was his birthday but he made plans. And Ivy wasn’t about to believe that there was no way he could have gotten in touch with her to tell her he couldn’t make it. 

She was so drowsy and lost in her own thoughts, she had forgotten she was holding a knife until she felt the blade against the skin of her hand. Immediately dropping it in the sink with a not so soft gasp, she saw the shallow cut left in her index finger. Sighing and putting a hand on her forehead, she gave up. Fuck the dishes, it was very late and she was tired and irritated. The dishes could wait. Flipping off the lights, she went upstairs for the night. 

\--------------------------

Chanyeol woke up mid-monday morning with little memory of the night before. They already had an afternoon flight but a delay caused their flight to leave much later than planned. By the time they finally boarded the plane, he was drowsy. And after napping off and on for a few hours, he was ready to pass out once he got home and half-asleep Chanyeol didn’t think to call anyone. His half lidded, slow blinking eyes were focused on his bed at home. 

He picked up his phone where it was charging by his bed. He did remember his phone dying sometime just before landing. He had a few notifications from various things and a few texts and missed calls. From Ivy. Dropping his phone and rubbing his hands over his face, he groaned.

“Shiiiiiiiit,” he hissed as he rolled his way out of his bed, nearly falling on the floor in the process. He walked out of the bedroom and through the dorm. He called her, running through apologies in his head. Her phone rang, several times, but she never picked up. Confused, he tried again. Still, no answer. He left a message. 

“Hey, it’s me. I’m so sorry I missed last night. Our flight got messed up and I fell asleep. I’m so sorry, baby. I know you were working really hard and I just totally ruined it. Will you please call me back? I want to see you today.” Frustrated with his own mistake and scared that she might be really mad at him, he hurried back into his room to change clothes.   
As soon as he could, he was in his car en route to her place. He texted her for the first time that day, “Where are you?” In minutes, a reply. 

“Home.” But that was all she said to him. 

Somewhere between 45 minutes and an hour after he left the dorm, he was parking in the alley beside her building and on his way upstairs. He knocked on her door and waited. He knocked again and waited. She wasn’t answering here either. Was she even there? Did she not want to see him? Why would she have sent him that text if she didn’t want to see him? He leaned his back against her door and checked his phone. Again, he waited, this time after sending her a text asking if he could see her. Nothing for several minutes. 

A young girl walking up the hall saw him standing against Ivy’s door. 

“You’re looking for Ivy?” she asked him in broken Korean. He jumped at her sudden appearance but nodded. “I saw her downstairs in the kitchen just now, on the ground floor.” She pointed to the stairs that she had just exited with a smile. 

“Ah, thank you.” His face lit up and he hastened back downstairs. It didn’t take long to find the kitchen. “Hey,” he greeted as he entered the room. She glanced around from where she stood at the sink. 

“Hey,” she smiled but it wasn’t a pure smile. It was a smile with a little disappointment in the eyes. Turning back to the dishes in the sink, she continued to speak. “How was your flight back?” 

“Late and tiring.” He walked closer and stopped beside her. 

“That sucks.” She stared at the pot in her rubber gloved hands. 

“Our flight got delayed and it was so late when we got back, I was about to pass out. I was half asleep and could hardly think straight.” He bit his lip watching her just staring down. 

“I knew you would have a good reason for not being there. I get it.” She nodded and held out a pot to him. “Could you dry these pots for me?” Still unsure of how mad she was with him, he took the pot and picked up a rag from the countertop. 

“I’m sorry. I should have found a way to call you or text you, especially after my phone died.” 

“Oh, you’re phone died too?” She sighed. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He paused, a pot still in his hands. 

“It means, I feel like I did a lot to put together a nice evening for my boyfriend who I’ve hardly seen in months and he sleeps through it because of a slightly delayed flight but not only that, his cell phone died too. So while I was waiting here for hours and I fell asleep then stayed up til two washing dishes and cleaning up a very special meal that ended up only half eaten and not by the person it was really created for, you just came home from the airport and fell asleep in your nice warm bed, without a thought to try to contact me and tell me what happened or why you decided you weren’t going to be here,” her voice broke on that last part. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeated quietly. “I should have called.” 

“Yes, you should have.” She handed him the last pot and stared ahead in silence for a moment or two. “I get it though. You were tired and didn’t think about it. And I’ve been so stressed these past few weeks, I just really wanted last night to go well. I don’t exactly have a lot of friends. I’ve got you and these two ladies from my classes but one of them, she left Korea last week. And the other has other friends that she spends more time with. So with you gone and not really anyone here to interact with regularly, I guess, my anxiety just spiked or something. I needed last night. It was supposed to make me feel like I was in control again. When I felt like I couldn’t do anything right, I was supposed to retake control of things by cooking a nice meal for my significant other on his birthday.” She pulled off her gloves and laid them by the sink, turning to look at him. Chanyeol finished drying the last pot. “I know sometimes I can get so wrapped up in my head that I don’t think about other people, so I get it. So, I might not be angry with you but I am sad that last night didn’t happen.” 

“I’m sorry, Ivy.” 

“I know. You can leave the pots in a stack on the counter, someone will come by to use them before long anyway.” He left the pot on the counter, along with the towel, and stepped over to hug her. Holding her close against his chest, he stroked her hair, hoping that all the apologies might mean something and even though she wasn’t mad, she wouldn’t be sad. Hugging him this time felt so much better than every other hug they’d shared before. It reminded her of when she was scared of something as a child and she would hug her mother and all that fear would leave. It was a similar sort of comfort, like she was smirking at her anxiety and telling it off like “Get lost, I told you I wasn’t alone. I told you someone cared about me.” That and he smelled nice. A few deep breaths at such close proximity and she really forgave him. When she finally looked up at his face, she had to wipe her eyes. 

“What? I’m not crying. Don’t look at me.” She laughed for the first time that day before he kissed her. Leaning into him, she kissed him back, arms still wrapped around him. “I had a present for you too,” she added pulling away from his lips. “You wanna go upstairs and get it?” 

“Yeah,” he replied against her lips before she stepped away from him and led him by the hand upstairs. Once sitting on her bed, she brought out a red gift bag.   
“I also worked very hard on this, so be nice when you open it.” She pushed the bag across her bed to him. Grinning, he pulled the paper aside and his mouth opened wide when he saw what was inside. 

“Oh my God, oh my God,” he repeated before laughing. He pulled out two medium sized plush Rilakkuma dolls. But the dolls were dressed very uniquely, nothing like what you’d find in stores. One was slightly larger than the other, that one wore blue shorts and an open white button down with short sleeves. The smaller one wore a little dress with flowers on it. 

“I know you have a lot of these but they’re cute and you gave me one to comfort me when my grandad died. I wanted to recreate the feeling from your birthday gift to me but for you. And they made me think of you.” Nervous about what he really thought about the gift, she felt the need to explain herself though she didn’t need to.

“They’re so cute. It’s us.” He kept oohing and ahhing at them. 

“And there’s more,” she reached into the bag for him and picked up two little hats from the bottom. She held up two hats just big enough for the dolls. One was a snapback with ‘seoulboyxo’ embroidered on the front and the other was a sun hat with a ribbon around it that said ‘ivyvine’ on it. “I just hope it’s not too much. I feel like it’s a little too much.”   
“Whaaaat? This is so cute.” He just stared on in amazement as she fit the snapback on his doll. It fit backwards with little holes where the ears could go through. “Did you make all of these clothes?” She nodded. 

“The hats too. And now I know several places in Seoul where you can rent a sewing machine and have embroidery done.” She felt the stress from the night before vanish seeing how much he liked his gift.

“Oh my God,” he examined the doll dressed after him. “He’s got little buttons and everything.” Chanyeol’s mouth probably hadn’t closed since he opened the gift.   
“I thought I might try to recreate the same sort of feeling that you created for me on my birthday, something really personalized and special. The meal would have really tied it all together.” 

“What do you mean?” he looked up from the dolls, confused. 

“I did a little investigating and found out some different foods you liked as a kid and prepared a meal based on that. It was good too. I have the remains of it in the fridge there,” she pointed to the mini fridge under her desk. 

“How did you investigate that though?” 

“I met your mom. Had lunch with her actually. I just walked into your parents’ restaurant and introduced myself.” 

“Wow, that doesn’t sound like you,” he set the dolls down on the bed in front of him. 

“I know, but I had a mission, to make this a good birthday for you,” she gave him a cheesy smile. 

“Can I try the meal you prepared for me?” And all too eagerly, the two of them gathered the dishes from her little fridge and travelled back downstairs to the kitchen to heat up the leftovers. Minutes later, she set down the final bowl in front of him and took the seat across from him in the dining room. 

“Ok, now be brutally honest. I know I’m not an inspiring cook but I really tried with this.” She nodded and smiled, waiting. Agonizingly slowly he picked up a spoon and his chopsticks and began to reach for one of the dishes. “Take this seriously, will you? I’m nervous. Your mother’s handwriting isn’t exactly the easiest to read and I don’t know if I understood it all correctly.” He laughed at her frustration and picked up the pace, taking his first bite. Staying silent and thoughtful, he ate a bit of rice, then another bite, and eventually he smiled. 

“It’s good.” 

“Hell yeah.” She hit the table with her fist. “You really mean it?” 

“It reminds me a lot of how my mom would make it.” 

“Reminds you’?” She nearly let herself get more critical but stopped and shook her head. “No, I’ll take that.” He continued eating, he hadn’t even had breakfast that morning. 

“What did you think of her, when you talked with her?” he asked, unable to contain his own curiosity of what transpired between his girlfriend and his mother. 

“She’s so pretty and she was so nice to me. From what I can tell you’re a lot like her,” she paused and chuckled as she remembered something from that day, “She asked me to call her my mother-in-law. I think she was a little annoyed that you didn’t introduce me to her first.” He was embarrassed about the mother-in-law part but overall he was happy with that. 

“I was going to go home for dinner tonight and see my parents. Would you want to come?” He glanced up long enough to ask the question then averted his eyes. Ivy went from nervous, to scared, to calm, to actually looking forward to it in a matter of a few seconds. 

“Yeah, let’s do it.” 

“Ok. I was planning to go over at about four,” he sounded like he had more to say but he was staring at her hands. “Is that a Star Wars bandaid?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 시어머니 is pronounced like shi-eo-meo-ni and means mother-in-law.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivy and Chanyeol attempt to comfort each other when Ivy’s departure is brought up. Ivy graduates from level five in her language program and spends the day with Chanyeol celebrating the anniversary of their first message. And finally, the end of February arrives and so does Ivy’s stay in Korea.

The scene was dim and warm, pleasant. A warm fire blazed in a stone fireplace. Outside the large window, the world was white with snow. The bluish haze of moonlight blanketed everything outside the room but inside, the room was lit by the warm light of the fire. 

Chanyeol sat on the couch. A young baby laid in front of him, grabbing at his face. He cooed and played with the small child as it giggled back at him. He looked so natural and happy playing with the baby that had his eyes and Ivy’s smile. Ivy watched them together and felt a sudden wave of almost overwhelming happiness, which as quickly as it appeared, disappeared. With a loud bang, like a door slamming shut, Chanyeol was suddenly gone and the baby had disappeared. As she looked out the window, she saw him walking alone through the snow into the night. He was leaving and all at once she felt that happiness be replaced with sadness and the feeling of being entirely alone. 

Something touched her legs and she gasped as her eyes flew open. Chanyeol sat on the floor beside the sofa in his studio where she had fallen asleep waiting for him. He had laid his coat over her legs. 

“Are you okay? You were crying.” He wiped the tears that had spilled over her cheeks. Sniffling and wiping her eyes, she shifted to face him. Putting her hand on his, reminding her that she had been dreaming previously, the feelings of the dream left her entirely.

“I’m fine. I don’t know why my eyes were watering like that,” she smiled to him and he smiled back, laying his head on the couch in front of hers. 

“So, why were you asleep on my couch? Because one of the guys was going to meet me here but then I found you asleep on the couch wearing what appears to be nothing but your underwear and my hoodie.” 

“It was part of my attempt to make the most of any time that we still have together. I was going to wait here and surprise you. What did you tell your friend?” She knew he wouldn’t want anyone over if he found her like this. 

“I told him not to come,” he grinned, sitting up. “What exactly were you planning to do once I got here?” 

“Come here and find out,” she sat up and pushed her hair over her shoulder, biting her lip. 

\---------------

After a while, they no longer occupied the couch. Chanyeol sat in his chair in front of his computer with his headphones half on, reviewing a few tracks he had been working on recently. Ivy occupied the other chair beside him with her legs folded in front of her, knees touching her chest. She fiddled with her phone at first but there were thoughts weighing on her mind and after a while, she couldn’t keep silent anymore. 

“I sent in my last application today, for university,” she broke the quiet that had settled around them. Chanyeol paused and pulled his headphones down around his neck. “I did send an application to Ehwa but I don’t think I’ll get in. All the other applications went to schools in my home country.” She was already thinking about when she would leave but he wasn’t keen on talking or thinking about it. 

“I’m sure you can get into just about any school you want to. I know you work hard at your studies,” he smiled and nodded, but it wasn’t a cheerful, encouraging smile. This was a smile with something to hide, specifically his desire for her not to go. 

“We need to talk about it, me leaving.” He set his headphones on the desk. 

“What is there for us to talk about? You’re leaving the country to finish your schooling. We’ll talk like we used to and in around two years we’ll get to see each other again,” he spoke plainly, his face blank. She put her feet on the floor and scooted closer to him, taking his hand off his mouse and into hers. 

“Chanyeol, I need you to remember something though. I know you get frustrated and lonely but me leaving does not have to do with you. If I already had my degree and was able to stay longer, I would absolutely stay. I like living here. I like you. So I have to leave, to finish my degree and tie up any loose ends back home but I’m coming back. It might not be immediate but I’m coming back as soon as I can,” she sighed. “So please stop worrying so much.” 

“I just worry about us growing apart.” 

“Why would we grow apart? It’ll be like before. The time zones will suck but we’ll have our late night/early morning calls and more to talk about when we’re not seeing each other face to face as often. Just like before,” she smiled trying to soothe his worries but they wouldn’t be soothed so easily. 

“But it’s completely different than before. You’re not my penpal, you’re my girlfriend. I liked coming home to you and goofing around with you, and relaxing on the couch with you, and making out with you in your room. And I know we’re both the type of people to get so wrapped up in what we’re doing that we forget to call or text or interact with anyone.” 

“We’re just going to have to make an effort then.” 

“What if it’s too hard and we grow apart. I get wrapped up in work and music and you’re so far away at college and you get all wrapped up in your school work and the people there and before you know it, someone else can love you better than I can. Someone who can follow you anywhere you go and see you everyday.” He hadn’t looked up from their hands in a while. 

“You’re afraid I’m going to find someone else,” she felt like her heart might break, seeing him so nervous and scared. “Baby, how could you think that?”   
“I know you’re not happy when I have to travel so often, when I’m away so much and you deserve someone who can be by your side everyday.” His hold on her hands relaxed and she felt a flicker of anger swell up in her. All of a sudden she gripped his hands tight and he looked up at her face. Tears welling up in her eyes and a stern expression on her face, though her lips quivered. 

“Do you want me to find someone else?” 

“No.” 

“Then stop acting like it. I’m here. I’m telling you that I want you, that I want to be with you. And you’re stuck throwing a damn pity party,” she pulled him a little closer to her. “Listen to me and remember this, okay?” She switched to a softer tone and her face relaxed, to something a little sadder and pleading. “You’re Park fucking Chanyeol. You’re one of the most hardworking people I know. You’re ambitious and talented, and kind and sweet. You can be shy and silly, and utterly hilarious and mischievous at times. When you love, you love with everything you have. I can’t imagine myself wanting anyone else.” He stared at her with wide eyes, a tear or two falling across his cheeks. ‘Will you please stop worrying? I might be going home but I’m not really going anywhere.” 

“I’m sorry,” he started to apologize but she smiled at him and wiped her thumb across his cheek. Without saying a word, Ivy stood up and positioned herself in his lap, placing his arms around her and leaning against his chest. 

“Stop apologizing or I’ll really get mad,” she smiled, knowing her outburst had helped him. Turning a little to look up at his face, she saw him smiling at her. Even though she had begged him on multiple occasions not to worry about their future together and tried her best not to worry herself, she couldn’t help but worry if the same things he feared would really happen. They would get wrapped up in their own worlds and drift apart. Although she was worried, she knew neither of them would let that happen but the quiet anxiety lingered at the back of their minds even after they pushed it aside. 

“I’m sorry,” he chuckled softly. Stretching upward a little, she kissed him, sweet and short, a reminder of what she had just previously said to him. She had no intention of going anywhere, even while she was away. She pushed her fingers through his hair, which had been a mess since he joined her on the couch. 

“Your hair is a mess,” she commented, trying to smooth it out.

“And whose fault is that?” They both chuckled. Turning back to the computer in front of them, she settled against him again. 

“So, weren’t you going to show me the song you’d been working on?” 

 

\----------------------------------

Ivy sat by Maja on graduation day. It would be her last time in that auditorium. She was receiving her certificate for completing level five in the Korean language program that brought her to Seoul, and it would likely be her last time receiving anything for that program. The ceremony passed slowly as Ivy reflected on her time there. She hadn’t needed to repeat any levels but she only barely passed on more than one occasion. It had been hard keeping up with it all but she had a few good people to lend her support through the last three semesters. Maja had been helped her on several occasions when Ivy was so frustrated that she wanted to quit. They’d studied together and had their own little adventures in Seoul, mostly getting lost together while searching for a new restaurant that they wanted to try. 

Of course, Chanyeol helped her too. He tried to tutor her several times but mostly helped her practice and gave her comfort and companionship. He was someone for her to lean on while she was there, even though he might not have always been right beside her. This was a good chapter for her. She was so nervous to move to another country and now she was nervous to leave. 

She walked up and across the stage. With a handshake and a bow she was walking off the stage, certificate in hand. Movement at the back of the auditorium, not far from where she was walking to, drew her attention. A familiar smile beamed out in the dim auditorium, paired with waving hands and a bouquet of flowers. She didn’t think he would be able to come. Smiling back to him, she went back to her seat. As soon as the program was over, she hurried back to where he stood along the back wall, greeting him with a hug. 

“I thought you were busy today.” 

“Yeah, I thought so too but some things got moved to tomorrow, so I have most of today free.” She just smiled at him as he handed her the flowers. 

“Is this the boyfriend?” Ivy realized Maja had caught up with her. Turning to her friend, she smiled and answered, suddenly nervous. 

“Yeah, this is him.” Maja shook his hand and introduced herself. 

“박찬열 입니다.” It wasn’t until he introduced himself that she realized, staring at his face for a moment before looking at Ivy in surprise. 

“Like EXO, Chanyeol?” She looked to Ivy. “Wow, so that’s who you’ve been dating this whole time? The guy you met online?” Ivy nodded and Maja paused a moment. “Any of your buddies on that website?” They laughed. “I’m kidding. You guys have any plans for the day?” 

“Well,” Ivy glanced up at Chanyeol, “tomorrow is the four hundredth day since we first spoke, so we’re counting that as our anniversary. But I guess we’re celebrating that today, right? Since you’re working tomorrow.” 

“Yep,” he smiled at Ivy, then the other woman. 

“Oh, okay. Well, I know some of the others from our class were going out to dinner and maybe drinks tonight. I didn’t know if you knew, or wanted to come. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind you bringing your boyfriend along.” Maja was actually very interested in how the others would react to him joining them. 

“I knew about it, I just didn’t know if I was going to go. We might,” she glanced to Chanyeol, “just catch up with you guys later. We’ve got a few things to do.” 

“Okay. Well, I’ll see you guys later then. Have fun on your date.” Maja gave Ivy a hug and the both of them a smile as she walked away to greet another friend.

Ivy and Chanyeol did have plans for the day but they weren’t that serious.They only had three objectives for the day. 

First they had lunch at the first restaurant that they had lunch at together, the little family run traditional place within walking distance of the university. It was toasty warm inside as they reminisced about their early conversations. They still couldn’t agree on the existence of ghosts or how dogs would wear pants but now they could argue about it much more proficiently in either’s native language. 

After lunch, they drove to what was their priority for the afternoon, the jewelry store. Switching back and forth between languages as they debated rings, she knew the saleswoman who was helping them must have been a little confused. Finally though, Ivy stumbled across a pair of rings and immediately smiled. Hitting Chanyeol in the arm to get his attention, he turned and looked. “These ones,” she decided. 

The third thing that they planned that day was a simple one. They picked up some hot chocolate to go and sat in his car, by the park that they walk through on their first afternoon together. It would have been ideal to sit outside on the bench where they sat before but it was February. And the bench had ice on it so that wasn’t an option, instead they settled on taking advantage of the darkly tinted windows and made out in the car for a while. 

“Could I take your sweatshirt with me when I go?” She leaned her head back against the seat after kissing him for a while. 

“You mean the one that you took a few months ago?” He mimicked her, leaning back against the driver’s seat. 

“No, I just gave you that one back last time you were here. I meant the other one that I took to replace that one,” she grinned at him. He chuckled at her stealing his clothes.

“Okay but I want something of yours.” 

“Okay. What do you want?” She waited as he thought for a moment, biting his lip. 

“That black thing that you wear sometimes?” Ivy scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“Chanyeol. Really?” 

“What? I’m giving you my sweatshirt.” 

“Yeah, but that’s a sweatshirt, you’re talking about my underwear.” Both of them couldn’t help but blush a little, talking about the prospect of giving him her underwear so casually. 

“Okay. Something else,” he thought again. “How about that oversized t-shirt that you like to sleep in sometimes, the gray one?” 

“That I can do. I like the black thing too much to leave it in another country.” He gave her a questioning look. “It makes me feel sexy and powerful.” 

“It really does though,” he commented, remembering his own encounters with it. 

“Shut up,” she shoved his shoulder and looked away. 

She looked out the window for a few minutes, Chanyeol humming along to a song on the radio. She would miss these moments the most, she thought. 

\-------------------------------

The morning of her departure came too quickly, as these things often do. Luckily Chanyeol was around to see her off. If he followed the schedule of the group, he would have been on a plane coming back to Seoul when she was entering the airport but he took a flight overnight so he could be there to take her to the airport himself. 

Knowing how nervous they both were, they made a point of acting cheerful on the ride to the airport, singing along to the radio and making jokes up on the spot, anything to keep things light and distract them from her luggage that rested in the back of his car. When they stopped in the parking garage of the airport and it came time for them to say their goodbyes, Ivy was the stronger one. They stood at the back of his car, the trunk open with her suitcase and bags waiting for her to pick them up and roll away. She smiled up at him and shook their clasped hands a little. 

“I love you.” It felt as natural as breathing to say it by the time they stood there in the airport parking garage. 

“I love you too,” he smiled back and removed his hands from her so he could hug her. Kissing her forehead, he sighed and tried to stop himself from getting too emotional. “Don’t flirt with anyone else,” he joked, looking down at her.

“I’ve already got my ideal guy,” she grinned and held up her left hand with her ring that they bought together earlier in the month. “Why would I ever want anyone else?” Leaning her head against his shoulder, she hugged him back. This could very well be the last time they hold each other for up to two years. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and for the moment tried to memorize the feeling of holding him. When she reminded herself that she needed to leave, she pulled back a little and looked up at him. 

“I need to go,” she reminded him. He nodded but leaned down to press his lips to hers, hands on either side of her face. They’ve had their share of make out sessions but never had they shared such a desperate yet gentle kiss. He didn’t dare verbalize his desire for her to stay, knowing how much she really did need and want to go home for a while but this kiss was him begging her not to walk away and get on that plane. She knew it but she also knew he didn’t want to make her stay. Not realizing she was clutching his jacket till they separated, she smiled at him again and smoothed his jacket down. “I’ll text you when I land. Okay?” She leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. He nodded, kissing her forehead one more time.

“I love you.” 

“I know. I love you too.” She held his hand in hers for a moment, before picking up her backpack from the trunk and taking the handle of her rolling suitcase in her other hand. “I’m not going to say goodbye because before you know it, I’ll be coming back.” 

“I’ll be here when you get back.” 

“I left the gray shirt in the front seat,” she leaned her head in, “with an added bonus inside.” She grinned at him and checked her phone. “It’s getting late. I should go.” 

“Okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He hugged her one last time and kissed her hair, both of them taking one last breath of the other. She nodded and started to walk away. 

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” And she finally turned and continued on away from him. Chanyeol was left alone, leaning against the back of his car. Once she turned the corner and left his sight, he returned to the driver’s seat of the car. He leaned back against the seat, his lips quivering as he stared ahead at the dashboard. After a few moments, he hit the steering wheel with a pathetic grunt and leaned his head against it, imagining what might have happened if she stayed. If she had finished her degree at a school in Seoul and gotten a job there. If she had stayed that long, he might have proposed by then. He might still. 

He glanced to the side, seeing her shirt folded neatly on the seat. Picking it up so that it unfolded, a piece of black lace fell out. He chuckled and smiled as he picked it up with the shirt. He rubbed the lace between his fingers, thinking about her, thinking about the first time he remembered her wearing it. 

That weekend in Kyoto. 

He was sure they’d reminisce about that weekend years and years after it happened. The way they felt. The way they made each other feel. Her mess of hair splayed across her back as the sun began to shine through the curtains. Finding marks from her lipstick on his neck and chest. Waking up next to her makeup-less face next to his. That night when she wiped the makeup off her face but asked him to leave the lipstick marks on him because she liked to look at him like that. Eating the leftover cupcakes in bed, while she wore just his shirt from the night before and that bit of black lace he held in his hands. 

He thought about his birthday and how badly she wanted to do something special for him. The dolls she gave him. He thought about those weeknights between concerts when he’d have a chance to rest and they’d put on face masks and watch TV or they’d play games together. They’d make bets and establish prizes and have their own little competitions. He thought about the times when her anxiety would get the best of her and he’d talk to her till she’d calm down again. The times when her anxiety wouldn’t let her sleep and he’d send her music to help her, even singing for her. More importantly, he remembered the nights when he would feel so tired and frustrated and everything felt so heavy on his shoulders and she’d be ready to comfort him any hour of the day. She’d talk him through his problems like he would for her. 

She was his best friend and the woman that he loved. 

As he sat there thinking in his car in the parking garage of the airport that late February morning, there was a strong chance, he thought, that she just might be the woman that he wanted to be with for a long time to come.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivy adjusts to life at home again, then life at university. On her way back to Seoul, she reminisces about a reunion they shared midway through her time away from Seoul.

Ivy’s first few days home brought a strange feeling similar to culture shock. She’d spent the last nine months learning to live in Korea and now she was thrust back into her home country and old ways. She was once again able to understand all the labels at the grocery store and drive her own car into town and see her old friends for lunch but still go home to her parents’ house out among the fields and trees. In the first week or so that she was home, she didn’t miss the sprawling metropolis she called home for several months before but soon she found herself daydreaming about being there again, so close to palaces and museums and all the cafes and the music and a few people that she’d become so accustomed to. Even Mrs. Ha and her worried, grandma like tendencies seemed like a pleasant memory. 

At first she and Chanyeol called nearly everyday and when they would be busy, their calls would grow less frequent for a while but they always called back as soon as they remembered how long it had been since their last call. The summer lasted too long to Ivy. She spent it working at her old place of employment, helping out scanning old files for a small town pest control agency.

Finally, when school began and she once again moved out of her parents’ home to live in the dorms at her university, things finally started to get interesting again. Well, more nerve wracking at least. She was once again in a new environment and faced with the task of meeting new people and making new friends. She managed to find a group of people to hang out with in her major, though she wasn’t sure they were considered friends but rather just people to pass the time. 

Her roommate was hardly ever around and kept her part of the room neat. Ivy was able to talk freely on her video calls with Chanyeol without worrying about disturbing her roommate. And on the chance that her roommate was around, out of nervousness and a desire for privacy, Ivy would switch to Korean. At first her roommate thought that Ivy was married, by the ring on her left hand, and her husband was foreign and that was why she talked in Korean on their phone calls and one day she asked Ivy about it. Ivy couldn’t help but laugh before explaining the situation, leaving out Chanyeol’s celebrity status for the moment. It was a welcome enough assumption and she didn’t mind the way the ring warded off unwanted attention. On some days she would wake up in the early morning to call Chanyeol, she would talk to him from the common room of her dorms or sometimes outside on mornings when it wasn’t too cold. 

Time passed both quicker and slower than they thought it would. They both buried themselves in their work, looking to make time pass quickly, but between phone calls and especially between video calls they would both feel the horrible ache of being so far apart. When they would look at each other through the screen, sometimes they’d forget for a moment that they couldn’t touch each other. But that feeling of separation would quickly resume and they’d be left wishing they were somewhere else, somewhere together. She worried about him a lot, asking if he’d been eating and sleeping enough to keep up with his activities and schedules. Even on the nights and mornings when he was obviously very tired and would obviously rather be asleep, he was still cheerful during their calls. And when he fell asleep on those calls, she’d tell him a simple ‘goodbye’ or ‘good night’ and always either ‘sleep well’ or ‘dream of me.’ Of course there were times late at night and early in the morning where she would fall asleep on him during a call but he stayed longer than she would, listening to her gentle snore. He liked watching her sleep for a while before ending the call, or sometimes he’d just wait until her end would cut off or he had to leave. Some of the best times they had during their time separated was spent on those video calls. 

 

Ivy stared at the ring on her hand as she waited for a taxi to take her to her new address in Seoul. All two years that passed, she kept it on whenever she went out. It reminded her of him everyday, reminded her of her goals. She wanted to learn a language, she wanted to travel, she wanted to find love. She found all of these things in Seoul, she wasn’t about to let any of it go. 

She remembered a specific time while she was living in her home country again. During her second summer since coming back, he was staying in her country for KCON and offered her plane tickets to come see him while he was there. After not being able to see him face to face for over a year, she gave him little resistance. The trip there didn’t matter that much, what she did or thought on the drive to or from the airport or even on the plane. She was just happy to see him again. The whole trip was a blur up until she arrived at the hotel, assuming it would be easier to meet him there. 

Her heart felt like it might jump out of her chest while she was in the elevator, headed to the twelfth floor like he told her. He wasn’t waiting outside the elevator so she followed down the hall, not even realizing the smile on her face wondering if he would be just around the corner. When she turned the corner and saw him leaving a room, turning to see her, she couldn’t help but hasten her pace. As cheesy as it might seem to some people, they ended up running to each other on that nearly deserted hallway, taking the other into their arms with a fierce hug. Chanyeol even picked her up a little. 

“Hey,” she spoke a little with her face pressed up against his neck. She could feel him chuckle at the simplicity of her greeting.

“Hey,” he replied back into her hair, his arms still tight around her. Footsteps and the sound of the elevator prompted them to separate and re-enter the room he just left as strangers rounded the corner, still connected by their hands. Dropping her bag on the floor as the door shut behind them, Ivy and Chanyeol turned to each other and smiled. He looked down at her hand in his. “You’re still wearing the ring,” he pointed out, raising their clasped hands a little to look at them. 

“You’re still wearing yours?” She moved her head to look but he took her other hand in his. 

“I haven’t taken it off.” He let his hand leave hers to caress her cheek. 

“I bet that’s caused an uproar in the media,” she commented. 

“It has. Everyone still speculates who could possibly be dating me. They’d be so surprised if they learned the woman who holds my heart is a beautiful, smart college student from another country,” his face moved progressively closer to hers as he spoke until their lips were almost touching. 

“People keep thinking that I’m married. I bet they’d be surprised if they knew my boyfriend was an international popstar.” She pecked his lips with her own. 

“You still don’t want to go public,” he asked. 

“You know what it would mean for your career. It would be one thing if you were dating another idol but I don’t know what would happen if everyone found out you were dating a nobody. I would really rather not. Maybe one day, when I’m back in Korea, but certainly not now. It would just make everything more complicated. But one day we will,” she chuckled, smiling up at him. 

“It’s up to you,” he nodded, their noses brushing each other. She leaned her forehead against his and they closed their eyes. 

“I missed you.” Her hands abandoning his to clasp together behind his neck, fingers playing at the edge of his hair. They both giggled as he put his arms around her waist, pausing a second to tickle her sides. She kissed him again, longer this time. It wasn’t until she felt his hands drift closer to the waistband of her pants that they stopped. “What’s the plan for today? I assume you have a schedule for the whole weekend since you’re here for work.” 

“Nothing else planned for today except an early night in. Tomorrow, we have rehearsals in the morning and a panel in the afternoon. We don’t perform till the last concert,” he realized that didn’t leave much time to see her. “But we’ll see each other at night and we’ve got the rest of the afternoon.” He sounded apologetic but he didn’t need to apologize.   
“I know you’re busy. It’s just so nice to be near you again.” She smiled up at him as he kissed her again briefly. 

“Well,” he checked his watch, “it’s only two thirty. What do you want to do?” She thought for a moment, well, she made a thoughtful face and pretended to think it over. 

“Well, we could go for a walk and do some sightseeing. If anyone asks, I’m your guide/translator.” He smiled at the thought of them being able to walk down the street together. “But later we can get dinner, come back here, and catch up a bit then turn in for the night.” She trailed her hands down his shoulders, stopping on his chest. He knew exactly what kind of catching up she meant and nodded. 

Ivy remembered she got her lace underwear back on that trip. It was also the last time she saw him face to face. That was a little over a year ago. 

It wasn’t easy, those two years they were apart, but soon everything was about to fall into place. She knew, like that last time they saw each other, as soon as they hugged each other, all of the time that had passed between their meetings would disappear and it would feel as if hardly any time had passed at all.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivy surprises Chanyeol with her return to Seoul. They spend some time together and a big question gets answered. (Feat. appearances by Kyungsoo and Baekhyun)

July 2019

Chanyeol was at a fan signing event with the group. He was excited to see the fans as always but he was also a little distracted by the fact that Ivy was coming back tomorrow. That fact only made him smile more and gave him a boost of energy. It was difficult for him to stay focused as Suho and the others spoke. He found himself daydreaming about Ivy and everything they would do when she got back. They’d go for bingsu together and go to the park at midnight. He’d be able to hold her hand and when he tries to get her to let him carry her on his back, she’d complain and try to carry him and they’d both fall to the ground. They’d laugh and brush the dirt off each other before making out on the merry-go-round then walk back to her place or his studio. He’d play with her hair and she’d laugh when he tried to braid it. And when he finally got the courage to ask her if she’d stay with him as his wife, he hoped that she might be overjoyed to answer ‘yes.’ 

Oh, how he missed her. For two years, his chest ached at the thought of how far apart they were. For weeks after she moved away, he would have thoughts on his days off and during his free time, ‘Maybe Ivy wants to get lunch today,’ even going to pick up his phone to text her but before he can type, he remembers. She can’t go to lunch with me today. She’s at college. She’s probably asleep right now. His eyes grew sad and his smile faltered when he thought about how lonely he’d been, how on the plane home from their previous visit he’d cried, how most nights he’d lay down with a pillow under his head and another in his arms, wishing he could feel her lying beside him again. 

Kyungsoo’s elbow in his side brought him back to the task at hand. Resuming his smile, he reminded himself what was happening tomorrow and it was easy for his energy to return. His turn to speak came and he delivered his message with enthusiasm. 

The event ran as smoothly as expected. Fans lined up to get their autograph and shuffled along in front of the table where they all sat. Chanyeol devoted his entire attention to the fans who appeared in front of him. His infectiously cheerful attitude had each fan stepping away from him with a smile and they made him happier too, knowing he had just made their day with a few kind words. He felt great, content and happy and ready to work and get through the day so tomorrow could come. Everything was going as he wanted.   
The sweet young teen whose hands he had just held and eyes he just complimented stepped away and the next fan stepped up. Looking up from the table, Chanyeol asked for her name but his smile quickly disappeared. 

“My name is Ivy,” she smiled at him, feeling a little tearful having not seen him in so long. He couldn’t even think for few seconds, he just stared ahead as his mind was screaming ‘SHE’S HERE!’ His smile returned brighter than before, if that were even possible. He couldn’t make a scene no matter how much he wanted to climb over the table and hug her. With so many fans around he didn’t know what to do. “You know, you look a lot like my boyfriend,” she commented, helping him in his indecision. He took her album in his hands and began signing his name. 

“Really? He must be pretty handsome.” 

“Oh he is. Maybe even more handsome than you.” She smiled as he began to play along. 

“I doubt it.” He smiled up at her, obviously close to breaking character in this little act. 

“Well, we haven’t seen each other in a while, so maybe I’m idealizing things.” She smiled at him but before she could be ushered along the line, he took one of her hands in both of his and kissed it, causing the fans that saw to gasp and shout. Ivy laughed, knowing that none of them knew how much this means to her and Chanyeol. And as a staff member came to usher them along, Ivy and Chanyeol exchanged a look, they were both so wonderfully happy to see each other again. 

As the fansign ended, Chanyeol was even more hyper than before. On the drive back to the dorm that afternoon, he was nearly bouncing in his seat. He walked with a steady, purposeful pace into the lobby of their building because he just knew she was waiting for him. Sure enough, when he turned to the side just inside the front doors, there she was. She was sitting on a loveseat against the wall to the right, eyes down at her lap and her hands fiddling with her phone. As he started walking over, she looked up. Discarding her phone and purse on the seat, she stood up and took a step forward before he reached her, throwing his arms around her waist and her own wrapping around his neck. They clung to each other, desperate not to let go. There have been several times in their relationship when one or both of them felt like they couldn’t breathe or that the other seemed like their source of oxygen. This was another one of those moments. Like they’d been underwater for so long, like two years, but they finally resurfaced. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were back?” he grumbled into her hair, his arms still snug around her. 

“I thought I would surprise you,” she replied back. 

“That was such a cruel way to surprise me.I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t touch you.” 

“You couldn’t leap across the table and hug me like this,” she added. 

“I wouldn’t leap, I wanted to climb over,” he felt the need to clarify. She laughed at him and he smiled, feeling her laugh against him. Pulling away a little, she looked up at him, moisture around his eyes.

“Aw babe, are you crying?” she asked in a concerned rather than mocking tone. 

“No,” he smiled, knowing she saw through his lie. 

“I missed you too.” She reached up to wipe his eyes with her thumb.

“Where are you staying now? Did you get that teaching job?” 

“Yes, I did. I moved into my apartment yesterday. It’s just a fifteen minute walk from here.” 

“Nice. That’s good. Do you like it?” 

“Do you want to go see it?” They smiled at each other and she pushed away from him to grab her purse, shoving her phone inside, and took his hand in hers. “Let’s go. 

 

___________

It was late August now. This birthday, Ivy didn’t want anything fancy and she told Chanyeol that. Nothing special. All she wanted was a nice dinner and a night in with him. Just a nice simple evening except with ice-cream cake. So this particular Friday evening, they bought an ice-cream cake, ordered in, and chose a few movies, opting to use the living room at the dorm, so they would have a larger television and more comfortable couch. Ivy might have an actual apartment now but it was still an officetel with a cheap couch. Continuing with their new trend of dates every weekend, they continued their way through the X-Men film series with X-Men: Days of Future Past and Deadpool, followed by X-Men: Apocalypse, if they thought they were awake enough to watch a third film. With the first movie, they ate dinner. At the start of the second movie, they cut the cake. A little later into the second movie, Ivy got a second piece of cake. By the time the credits were rolling, they were a little sleepy. They let the credits finish and the DVD return to the menu. It was quiet without the television going and Ivy had already begun to get drowsy, until Chanyeol spoke at least. 

“I keep thinking about that song they played,” he commented staring at his phone. 

“Hm, what song?” Ivy tried to stay in the conversation. 

“The song. When he looks over and sees Vanessa and the music starts playing. You’re the Inspiration,” he sang a line as he looked it up on YouTube. A few seconds of silence passed before Ivy heard the first notes of the song play through the speaker on his phone. He started singing along and Ivy found herself singing along softly from where she laid on the couch. The further they got into the song, the more enthusiastic Chanyeol got. Ivy even sat up to sing with him. By the last verse, they were singing to each other, playfully but there was an underlying seriousness to it. They meant the words of the song. They were sure that as loud as they had become, they must be bothering the others in the apartment but that didn’t deter them from standing up and singing to each other with no regard for how good or bad they sounded. 

“You're the meaning in my life. You're the inspiration. You bring feeling to my life. You're the inspiration,” they clasped each other’s hands and sang with their faces close together, both on the verge of laughing at their spontaneous karaoke session. “Wanna have you near me. I wanna have you hear me sayin'. No one needs you more than I need you.” As the song faded out, Ivy collapsed back on to the couch with a sigh, Chanyeol opting to sit down on the floor by her legs. They sat there and laughed for a moment but the next video started playing. They listened. It was another song by Chicago.

“Tonight it's very clear. 'Cause we're both lying here. There's so many things I wanna say. I will always love you. I would never leave you alone.” Ivy sighed again, still smiling.   
“God, I love Chicago. This music was like all my dad would play around the house,” she commented but Chanyeol didn’t hear her. He looked kind of dazed for a few seconds but all of a sudden, he stood up and dashed out of the room. Ivy turned to look in the direction he went and as he came back into view, she watched him return, a confused look on her face. “Okay, what the heck was that?” He knelt down on the floor by her feet again and held out a velvet box. It looked a little big for a ring, Ivy thought. Maybe earrings or earrings and a necklace or something. “Come on. I told you not to do anything special or extravagant. I didn’t want any gifts.” 

“It’s not really a gift,” he opened the box. “It’s a promise.” It was a ring. With a more than fair sized diamond adorning it. Eyes wide, she looked up at him. 

“You’re proposing to me to a song from The Karate Kid 2.” She felt like her heart might explode.

“I didn’t know that. Is that bad?” he seemed suddenly wary. 

“No. For some reason it feels kind of funny. I don’t know why.” 

“I’ve been trying to find the courage or the right time to do this but I think it happened. I was already feeling good about tonight being the night but then we started singing and I just felt like I could sing with you until my lungs burst. I feel so right when we’re together and so wrong when we’re not. I’d sing until my vocal chords can’t make sound anymore if it would make you happy.” He took one of her hands in one of his. 

“I don’t want that. That would literally be horrible,” she chuckled and squeezed his hand, “But I’d walk through fire for you, you know that, right?”

“I know,” he nodded. She took off their couple ring and offered him her left hand. 

“Well, then, what are you waiting for?” she asked, wiggling her fingers at him. Hurriedly and with the brightest smile, he slipped the ring onto her finger, tossing the box onto the couch. Before he could lean up to kiss her, she leaned down, hands of either side of his face. He ran his hands down her sides, pulling her down to the floor by her hips, settling her on his lap. 

“I love you,” he whispered between kisses. 

“I know.” 

“Wait,” he pulled his lips away from her, “should I have asked your parents first?”

“No. It’s fine. They know about you and I’ve talked with them about this possibility and it is ultimately our decision. Besides, I’m pretty sure I’d marry you anyway.” She leaned her forehead against his.

“I talked with my parents about it. They like you so, they’re on board.” 

“I’m pretty sure your mom has been on board since the beginning.” They smiled, enjoying the joy that they shared for a few moments. After a few seconds, Ivy chuckled to herself.

“What is it?” 

“Husband,” she giggled.

“Wife,” Chanyeol countered, feeling her giddiness rubbing off on him. 

“We’re going to have to tell everybody,” Ivy’s voice calmed.

“Eventually, not tonight though,” Chanyeol leaned his head down, nuzzling his face against her neck. 

“We should tell our parents though. They should be the first ones to know,” Ivy leaned over and picked her phone up off the couch. “Now would be a good time to tell my mom, she’d be awake now.” 

“I guess I’ll tell my parents and my sister.” He picked up his phone and followed her lead. As they were typing their brief announcements to their closest family members, Baekhyun’s voice sounded through the hall. 

“I’m just passing through to get some water from the kitchen. I’ve got my eyes covered and closed, I won’t see anything.” Ivy and Chanyeol saw him walk through with his hand over his eyes and his face turned away from the living room.

“Should we tell him?” Ivy looked to Chanyeol and he grinned. “Hey, Baek.” They stood up and watched him as he took a few steps backwards, eyes still covered. 

“If you’re trying to pull me into a threesome or something, I’m flattered but I don’t really see either of you that way. Ivy, you’re more like a cool little sister and Chanyeol, you’re.. Well, you’re you.” 

“Shut up. And uncover your eyes, there’s nothing to see. We want to tell you something,” Ivy explained. He uncovered his eyes and grinned at them. 

“Did he finally ask?” 

“Did he talk to everyone about it?” Ivy glanced to Chanyeol. 

“Everyone in the group and the EXO staff members, probably more. I wouldn’t be surprised if he talked about it with the guy at the convenience store or the ahjumma downstairs or the take-away delivery guy. He was talking to anyone he knew about you,” Baekhyun explained. Ivy smiled up at Chanyeol blushing beside her. Kyungsoo stepped out into the room from the hallway. 

“Did he finally ask her?” he joined the rest of them. Ivy stared at Chanyeol for a moment, before turning to Kyungsoo. 

“He did. We’re engaged.” Ivy finally said. Baekhyun started clapping and cheered for them. Kyungsoo grinned and shook Ivy’s hands, congratulating her, while Baek hugged Chanyeol. And they switched, Chanyeol hugged Kyungsoo and Baekhyun gave Ivy a hug. 

After a few minutes of talking, the boys went back to their rooms, presumably because it was such a late hour, and Ivy and Chanyeol were left alone wondering what to do. They stood there quietly for a little bit before either spoke. 

“You wanna just go back to my place and go to bed?” Ivy suggested. 

“Okay.” 

And that’s how they ended up in her bed, lying awake at one in the morning. Well, Chanyeol was nearly asleep but Ivy was still awake, propped up on her elbow beside him and messing with his hair. Looking at Chanyeol’s sleeping face, she thought, this man is really not very handsome. His mouth is hanging open, his hair is a mess and weak as can be. He’s a tall, clumsy tangle of limbs. But he’s got the brightest smile and a gentle heart. He works hard to get what he wants and to do what he believes is right. He’s got ambition and passion and kindness. And most importantly, she thought, glancing to her ring, he was hers and she was his.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life goes on for Chanyeol and Ivy. More challenges come up against them: Chanyeol’s military service, the press, health problems and expanding their family. But at the end of the day, only a few things really matter.

“Last Monday, EXO member Park Chanyeol and his wife, whom we’ve only seen together in public a handful of times since they announced their relationship four years ago shortly before their wedding, were seen visiting a women’s health center in Gangnam as well as a nearby restaurant shortly after. The biggest surprise though is that it appears they will soon be parents. Chanyeol’s wife, Ivy appears to be well into pregnancy. Witnesses speculated she could be due for delivery this winter, perhaps even before the new year.   
“Chanyeol returned from his military service shortly after the beginning of this year and the couple seems to be wasting no time starting their family.  
“Many fans seemed to have mixed feelings on the couple’s status but overall they have been wishing them all the best in this new chapter of their lives.” Ivy put her phone down to look at Chanyeol. “I hate it. I hate people commenting on our lives. Like it’s one thing when you’re young and unattached but we’re married,” she complained, “With a kid on the way. I don’t want pictures of me in the news. Not like this,” she tapped her hands on her stomach and leaned against the frame of the bathroom door. 

“You knew this would happen, why are you complaining so much?” Chanyeol asked, too busy washing his face to look over. 

“I wasn’t thinking about people taking pictures of me pregnant walking on the street when I married you,” she paused, “Besides, I’m pregnant, I can complain if I want to. And people taking pictures of us on the street when I just want to go to my doctor’s appointment, get lunch, and go home is completely within reason to complain about.” 

“I know,” he wiped his face with a towel and turned to her. “I’m sorry this stuff happens. I’ve already talked to my manager about keeping us out of the news. And more importantly, keeping our little boy out of the news,” he grinned as he pressed his hands on her stomach. 

“I really don’t think it’s a boy.” 

“How do you know though?” 

“It’s just a feeling. This isn’t a boy.” She stepped away into their bedroom and Chanyeol followed. 

“Well, I guess we’ll find out who’s right today. Won’t we?” 

“I suppose we will.” 

They had a bet you see. Whoever guessed the sex correctly chose the theme for the nursery. Ivy wanted a garden theme. Chanyeol wanted a zoo theme. They were still deciding on a punishment for the loser. 

“Babe, can you help me with my shoes? I can’t reach.” She leaned against the wall while he tied her shoes for her. As he stood up to gather his own shoes, she let her hand touch his arm as she walked back into the kitchen. “Thanks babe.” 

“Are you eating again? I thought we were getting lunch after the doctor’s appointment,” he called from the shoe closet. 

“This is pre-lunch. A snack for the road,” she called back, returning in seconds with an apple and a bag of chips. 

They took his car to the doctor’s office. Her bag of chips didn’t even make it to the halfway point but the apple was still sitting in her purse. Through the doctor’s appointment, they made remarks to each other regarding the sex of the baby to the point that even the nurse gave them strange looks. And finally the moment of truth came. 

“It looks like it’s a boy. Congratulations,” their doctor gave them a cheerful smile. She was a sweet lady but Ivy just groaned at the discovery because she knew Chanyeol was beside her silently cheering and applauding himself because he was right. 

“Sorry. We had a bet going. I thought it was a girl and he thought it was a boy. So he wins,” Ivy explained, while Chanyeol was still congratulating himself. She looked over at her husband, finding his little victory dance difficult not to smile at. “You done yet?” He patted himself on the back one more time.

“Wait,” he held out his hand for a high five from Ivy, who just stared at him, then the doctor, who just laughed at him. He high fived himself and nodded. “Okay, I’m done.” The doctor saw Ivy’s expression and decided to comment. 

“Nothing is definite until the baby is born though. Sometimes baby girls will be positioned in a way that makes it appear on the ultrasound as a boy but when they’re born they’re a girl. So there is still a chance,” she explained. Ivy didn’t say a word, she just smiled at Chanyeol, who looked like he was re-evaluating his life choices. She high fived the doctor.   
“But how common is that?” he asked.

“It’s not uncommon.” 

“See. It’s not over til it’s over. We’ll find out in two months.” 

 

Chanyeol was wrong. 

A short two months later, in the early hours of the morning, before daybreak, Eun-Yeong Harmony Park was born, but when they handed her to Chanyeol, the bet was the last thing on his mind. He was too busy memorizing her face and the sound of her cry and the feeling of her in his arms. She had a head full of hair and the cutest little eyes and lips he’d ever seen. He couldn’t stop staring at her, even when he gave her to Ivy. They made that, a whole new person, with Ivy’s eyes and Chanyeol’s lips. They both felt so full, of happiness, of a variety of emotions that it left them feeling very strange. It made Chanyeol think of their wedding and the immense happiness he felt. That was sort of like this but this was a thousand times better. 

“You’re so incredible,” he stated, staring ahead at his newborn daughter. 

“Are you talking to me or her?” Ivy asked. 

“Both of you.” 

*****

“Eun-Yeong-ah! It’s time to go!” Chanyeol called from the door. The now five year old little girl came running through the house to collide with her grandmother’s legs. 

“Be good for Grandma, okay?” Ivy told her daughter. Chanyeol’s mother was there to take her to her piano lesson then to the park. 

“We’ll be back about three but if you need more time, I can take her home with me,” his mother offered. 

“That would probably be best. We don’t know how long recording will take,” Chanyeol replied, “We’ll come pick her up as soon as we’re done.” 

“Eun-Yong-ah, are you ready to go?” his mother asked. Eun-Yeong shook her head as she looked up at her grandmother. “Why not?” she asked the five year old. 

“I forgot something,” she said turning around to hug her dad’s legs. Chanyeol picked her up and offered his cheek to his little daughter. She kissed him and hugged his neck. “Now, mommy.” She reached her little arms out towards Ivy, who took her daughter into her own arms. Eun-Yong repeated her hug and kiss routine, before Ivy let her daughter back down on the floor again. She took her grandmother’s hand and nodded to her. “I’m ready now grandma.” The adults couldn’t help but chuckle at her.

Ivy and Chanyeol left at the same time as his mother and their daughter, headed to the recording studio. Shortly after Ivy returned to Seoul, Chanyeol overheard her singing while washing the dishes one night. He didn’t say anything then, he just listened with a stupid grin on his face. But as it continued to happen, he asked her about it, if she ever considered really working on her voice and trying to refine it. He thought she had a lovely tone and with a little effort she could sound really good. And more and more often after that conversation, he found her singing along with him and joining him in the studio. 

This however was her first time helping him with a song that would go on a legitimate album, which kind of blew Ivy’s mind. She had no formal training, she just goofed around with her husband but now she’s helping him put together a professional album. She doesn’t know everything but neither does he. He tried his best to teach her everything he knew once she began to warm up to producing music together. 

There was a couple other people with them for a while as they tried to record parts of the song but eventually, the two of them were left alone, trying to edit and figure out what was missing from the track. They had been listening to it for hours now and it was only getting more difficult to discern places for improvement. Ivy checked the time, well past eight o’clock in the evening. 

“I wonder how your mom is doing with a rambunctious little five year old,” she commented. 

“They’re fine,” Chanyeol said blankly, lost in thought and restarting the track for the umpteenth time. They listened again, Chanyeol intently and Ivy half-heartedly, daydreaming a bit. All of a sudden, she clapped her hands loudly, startling Chanyeol. Eyes wide, he stared at her waiting for an explanation. 

“I have an idea,”she said calmly. Scooting closer to him, she put her hand on the mouse to the computer in front of him. She started clicking, altering sounds and moving pieces of the song. She just kept going so long that Chanyeol pushed his chair back and took her former spot beside the computer, rather than in front of it. “Try this,” she eventually said, playing the song again and scooting away again to let him back at the computer. He slid back over and listened. Head bobbing with the beat, he smiled at her. 

“It’s good.” 

“Did you expect me to do something bad?” she asked. 

“No, it’s just good. You knew what to do when I didn’t,” he turned back to the computer, saving their changes. 

“At least I can help with something,” she sat back in her chair. Chanyeol yawned and did the same. 

“I wonder if Harmony is asleep by now. It’s close to nine,” he glanced at his watch. 

“I hope she is then she’ll sleep on the ride home and all we have to do is lay her in her bed,” Ivy commented, yawning as well. The pair was quiet for a moment. While Ivy thought about what she was going to eat when they got home, Chanyeol was thinking about something every different. 

“Do you think we could have another one?” he spoke quickly, almost making Ivy miss what he said. Ivy looked up at him slowly. 

“You want another baby?” she sat up. 

“I mean, if you want to.” They were quiet a moment. 

“I’ve thought about it,” Ivy confessed. “I know we could afford another kid but are we ready for that? We barely manage the one we already have.” 

“We’re great with Harmony. I know we could handle two. Besides she’s starting school so that’s less of the day that she’ll be with one of us.” 

“You mean with me,” Ivy added. 

“You know, I try my best to be around as much as possible.” 

“I know.” They sat in silence for another minute, the both of them thinking over the pros and cons of another mouth to feed. Ivy thought about when they began talking about having their first child. Chanyeol had only recently returned from his military service a few months prior, and the two were talking about things they wanted to do. Ivy wanted to write a book and Chanyeol wanted to start working on some solo projects but then he mentioned a project for the two of them. She asked what he meant by that and he launched into this well rehearsed and well thought out speech about how much he wanted to be a father and how they would both make such great parents. Ivy took some convincing but she knew time was ticking and if he believed she could be a good mother then maybe she could. 

Now, the second time around, she knew she could handle one baby but could she handle a baby and a small child and an emerging career as a writer at the same time, all the while supporting Chanyeol? But he was right, Harmony would be in school soon and she’d have more time and it wasn’t like the second baby was coming tomorrow, she had time to finish her second book; she already had it planned. She loved Chanyeol and she loved her daughter more than anything, so what was one more child? Another child to love, another child just like her and Chanyeol. 

She smiled eventually. Now was as good a time as any.

“If we’re going to do this again, you’re changing more diapers,” she finally said. “I mean it, whenever you’re around you have to change any and all diapers that need changing.”   
“Anything,” he grinned in victory. She stood up and straightened her shirt. 

“When did you want to start working on this new project?” she smirked at him with her hands on her hips. 

“I could tell my mom that recording might take all night and Eun-Yong needs to stay there tonight,” he suggested, picking up his phone. 

“Text her,” Ivy nodded. They were quick to save their work and shut off all the lights and equipment. For the first time in a long while, they were eager to get home. She was sure they broke at least five traffic laws on the way home but Chanyeol’s hand frequently found it’s way to her thigh throughout their drive home. Chances for passionate, loud, uninterrupted sex were rare after having a kid and they were both ready to not have to keep things quiet or brief. 

She pressed up against him from behind while he unlocked the door to their apartment. Caught up in their giggly eagerness, Chanyeol picked her up as soon as they were inside the door. 

“Oh my God! You’re so much heavier than when we first met,” he groaned, staggering momentarily. 

“Shut up! You like me soft,” Ivy countered and kissed his cheek, lips venturing to his ear as he carried her towards their bedroom. 

*****

Chanyeol walked into their apartment around midday. He’d been away for a few days and was just now returning home. He headed straight to the bedroom, intent on dropping his bags there and unpacking. On his way though, Ivy poked her head out of the bathroom with a smile. 

“Hey, you’re back. How’d it go?” she asked.

“Really good. Everything went great,” he paused to kiss her in the doorway. 

“That’s great,” she commented before returning her attention to the stick in a cup that was sitting on the bathroom counter in front of her. He glanced in to see what she was so focused on and his eyes lit up as he recognized the stick. 

“You think you’re pregnant?” He left his bag in the hall and stood beside her in the bathroom, the both of them staring at the stick now. 

“My period hasn’t come for almost two months and I’ve been crazy nauseous for the past like five days, so I’m pretty sure of what’s going on,” she glanced at Chanyeol behind her and he was just smiling. 

“How long do we have to wait for it?” He put his hands on her shoulders. 

“Based on the package, it should be close finished,” Ivy picked up the glass and looked at the indicator on the stick. The second line indicating pregnancy was already showing up though not quite complete yet. She showed Chanyeol. “Pretty sure, that’s a positive.” 

“You don’t sound too excited,” he pointed out, a little disappointedly. 

“I feel like I might throw up.” Chanyeol moved to look at her face as she stared ahead. A few moments passed before she moved or spoke again. “Nope, I’m okay. And I am happy,” she smiled at him. After setting the cup on the counter, she hugged him. They were adding another member to their little family, she was just as happy and excited as he was. She missed him those last few days so they lingered in their hug. 

“Did you wash your hands after you filled that cup?” he asked. Her eyes widened as she thought back to when she filled it. 

“Uummm, yeah. I mean, I rinsed my hands,”she answered and he pushed away from her. 

“Okay, I’m gonna go take a shower now.” 

 

Only a matter of days later, something changed that sent Ivy slipping into a panic. 

“Hey, babe. I just wanted to let you know, I’m gonna head over to see Dr. Song at one this afternoon. I’ve been having some weird bleeding and I’m feeling kind of scared. I need you, okay? Let me know when you’re on your way,” Ivy left a message for Chanyeol, after she tried calling him twice. Nervous and afraid, she walked down into the subway. Biting her lips, she fiddled with the strap on her purse. She wouldn’t let herself think about what these symptoms could possibly mean. It had only been a week since she took the pregnancy test. She had an appointment to see Dr. Song the next day anyway but some sudden unusual bleeding sent a wave of fear through Ivy. 

In the waiting area of the office, she fidgeted like she did on the train, biting her lip and rubbing the ring on her hand. Chanyeol hadn’t called or texted her and he was nowhere in sight when they called her name. 

“Please be here soon,” she whispered as she stood to follow the nurse. When they started the sonogram, she was praying for it to look normal but it didn’t. There wasn’t the normal spot or two showing a budding embryo. The technician looked confused and mumbled something that Ivy didn’t understand. Regardless of whether Ivy understood it or not, it didn’t sound like anything she wanted to hear. The woman excused herself, telling Ivy that the doctor would see her in a few minutes. As soon as the door shut behind her, Ivy picked up her phone to text Chanyeol. 

“Please hurry. I think something is wrong.” She could feel her chest heaving as her breath quickened, terrified of facing whatever this was alone. After a few minutes, she felt her phone vibrate.

“I’ll be there in five minutes.” He wouldn’t be quick enough. Dr. Song walked in with a somber expression as soon as she finished reading his text.   
“Could your husband not come with you today?” the doctor asked. 

“He’s on his way. He’ll only be a few minutes, less than five.” 

“Oh. Perhaps we should wait then?” Her fear outweighing her eagerness to know, Ivy agreed with her. The doctor excused herself and stepped out again. Ivy stared at the text, her eyes continuously moving between the text and the time. The sound of the door opening again startled her, but in came, Chanyeol and Dr. Song. He immediately hugged her.

“We’ll be okay. It’ll be okay,” he whispered quickly before he stood beside her, an arm around her shoulders. She held his hand that rested on her shoulder, desperate just to touch him after getting so worked up. 

“I think you both know that there’s a problem with the pregnancy,” she began. “It’s an uncommon condition but what you’re experiencing is a partial molar pregnancy, where an embryo and a mass of abnormal cells begin to form. Essentially, there was an error with the genetic information and a fetus couldn’t develop but a pregnancy still tries to happen.” Ivy’s hand which had previously been clutching at Chanyeol’s hand on her shoulder went limp and the two of them just blankly stared ahead. “Your body is already trying to expel it and that’s why you’re experiencing bleeding.” 

“So it’s a miscarriage?” Ivy asked quietly, her hand dropping to her lap. 

“A molar pregnancy, technically but yes, it’s a miscarriage.” Dr. Song looked up at Chanyeol a moment and soon stood up, excusing herself for a moment. “I’ll give you a moment alone.” Ivy turned when she felt Chanyeol take his hand away from her shoulder. He had his hands over his face, his hand was wet where he had wiped the fresh tears from his eyes. She hadn’t felt tears come until she saw his face. Ivy was never one to cry silently while tears drifted down her face but this time she didn’t sob. She stood without a word and faced her husband, tears welling up in her eyes. Gently, she pulled his hands away from his face and swiped her thumb across his cheeks, wiping off his tears. Placing her arms around his waist and her cheek against his chest, he tried to swallow his tears as he hugged her back. 

Although they only learned about the pregnancy a week ago, the loss that they both felt was the loss of a child. It was more than just the bundle of cells that they lost but the child they had already been mentally preparing and planning for. They didn’t know what to say to each other, or even if they should say anything. Did they need to? He was very involved when it came to the first pregnancy and when their daughter was born. He wanted to be there for everything but this time, he wasn’t sure. He watched the pain in Ivy’s face when he walked in and when the doctor began explaining. He knew she must be in so much pain and that only added to the hurt he felt. 

“I’m supposed to be the strong one,” he muttered. 

“That’s stupid. We’re both strong,” she replied in the same manner. “But so is this.” 

 

When Chanyeol parked the car in the parking garage at their building, they sat in silence for a few minutes. 

“Are you going to be okay?” he asked finally, his soft question seeming loud in the silence of the car. 

“I guess so. I mean, I’m not right now but eventually, maybe,” Ivy leaned back against the seat. She wished she could crawl into bed and stay there for a month or two just wrapped up in a blanket, with Chanyeol joining her every so often. But she had a five year old coming home from school in thirty minutes and meetings with her publisher at the end of the week. Glancing over at Chanyeol, she knew he wanted to do something so she held out her hand to him, sliding it under his. They both stared at their clasped hands for a while. Whatever they faced, even this, at least they didn’t have to face it alone. 

 

*****

“You know this is the first time I’ve been out on my own in this country, like I’m not here with EXO or for anything to do with work,” Chanyeol commented. 

“What about our second wedding? We stayed with my parents for like two weeks; that wasn’t work related,” Ivy gave him a weird look. 

“You know what I mean, we’re not with your parents or anyone else, it’s just us.” 

“I know. I get it. It is pretty nice, isn’t it? No kids for the night.” 

The kids were with Ivy’s parents, an hour’s drive away from the hotel Ivy and Chanyeol were staying the night at. They were back near Ivy’s hometown for her twenty year high school reunion. It was an altogether strange experience for her, thinking about how long it had been since she was in high school. Twenty seemed like a big number in this context. Afterall, she was nearing her 38th birthday and Chanyeol his 41st and that in itself was a strange thing to think about. The passage of time always feels strange. 

They were preparing for the reunion dinner that was commencing in just minutes downstairs in the hotel’s ballroom. Ivy walked out of the bathroom to see Chanyeol buttoning his shirt in front of the mirror. 

“How do I look?” she gestured to her dress and struck a pose. 

“You look fantastic,” he smiled, finishing the last button. 

“Yeah, but is it just fantastic or is it like so fantastic that people will wonder who I am and regret they didn’t talk to me in high school?” she put her hands on her hips. 

“That's kind of petty, don’t you think?” 

“Yeah, well, it’s high school. I can be petty if I want to.” 

“But, you’re not in high school.” 

“Well, I wasn’t like you in high school. I didn’t have girls lining up to see me in gym class. I sat at the back and never got noticed. Some of my friends were bullied by the popular kids but no one even noticed me. One time, my teacher called on me towards the end of the semester to read in class and three different people asked, ‘who is that?’” she stared at him, “I don’t get noticed.” 

“You’ll get noticed now. You’re beautiful and successful and have the most handsome husband on your arm,” he reached out to her, putting his hands on her waist. “Let’s face it, we’re basically a power couple now.” 

“I’m not successful to make us a power couple,” she grumbled, not moving as he pulled her closer. 

“You make basically as much as I do with your books. You might not be super famous but you’re still successful,” he kissed her forehead and she finally relaxed in his hold.   
“Okay. So, they didn’t know me then, but they’re gonna know me by the end of tonight.” 

“If anything they’ll know you for being the really attractive woman with the Kpop star.” She pushed him away and looked at his face. 

“Number one, I don’t want to be known as just your wife. Number two, I never told anyone I went to school with, except Hope, about your career,” she confessed. 

“Oh”

“Yeah,” she paused, “actually, it could make for interesting conversation.” 

“You want to brag about me being so successful?” 

“Only after you brag about how successful I am. Are you down with that?” He thought for a moment.

“I brag about how great you are all the time. I’ve got this.” And they were agreed. “If we’re going to be petty high schoolers, let’s do it together.” 

***  
As the evening continued, Ivy and Chanyeol were met with several people who didn’t even know Ivy graduated with them. They were the more popular kids in her high school, the ones who frequently looked down on students like Ivy and her friends. Here was Ivy, a published author of multiple books, mother of two, with a husband who was, as a classmate described, a tall drink of water. For a short while, she felt a little smug that she had done so well in life. She finally got to be one of the cool ones and it wasn’t entirely due to her relationship. People were impressed but as she got into conversations with people that she actually knew and learned about their stations in life, she felt that pride fade. Many of them were still living in their hometown. Some of them were unemployed. Some of them were working dead end jobs in the same offices and shops in town and the surrounding cities. Some of them were divorced and some were still as smug and superficial as they were in high school. 

Eventually, she pulled Chanyeol to the side. 

“Let’s stop talking and just dance.” She wasn’t pretending anything about her success but she was tired, tired of seeing people being bitter about her doing so well. She realized a lesson she already knew: don’t brag. It won’t make you feel better. If anything, it’ll make you feel worse. She knew this lesson but got caught up in her memories of high school. Chanyeol was right when he told her she wasn’t in high school anymore.

Even though they were trying to stop the worrying and try to have some fun, Ivy got a call from her mom. Their youngest, who was only two years old, refused to settle down until mom and dad were there. Hearing the angry toddler on the phone and their Harmony, now nine, missing her parents as well, Ivy told them she and Chanyeol would be coming back that night instead of the next morning. 

Leaving shortly after the phonecall, Ivy drove their rental car the hour long trip to her parents’ house. It was after midnight when they parked in the driveway. Her mother was still up, but barely awake, while the two little ones were on the couch, both of them already asleep. Ivy sat down between the two and when she did, their son grumbled and tried to grasp at his mother. She pulled him into her lap and immediately he settled and fell asleep again. Her mother gone to bed, Chanyeol followed Ivy’s lead and sat down on a section of the couch that reclined and pulled out the footrest, discarding his jacket before sitting down. Ivy shifted to sit beside him, making use of the footrest as well, while Harmony stretched out lengthwise along the other end of the couch, a throw pillow beneath her head. After a few minutes, Ivy lay awake, still thinking about all the events of the night. 

“I like this better than that stupid reunion anyway,” she whispered, looking down at her son sleeping against her. Chanyeol smiled, his eyes still closed. He put his arm around her shoulders as she leaned into him. With his other hand, Chanyeol helped move his son onto his lap. The toddler didn’t seem to care. She snuggled into her little family.

“This is what happiness feels like,” she thought to herself. Seeing Chanyeol sleep while holding her and their young son reminded her of their wedding day. They had two, one in Seoul and one in her hometown, but she thought about the first one. She didn’t want a quick and efficient Korean wedding but she kind of got that, but just a slightly slower version. 

One of the moments she remembers the best was when she first walked in and she saw him standing there. Part of her was surprised he actually showed up, that he really wanted to marry her. She was surprised she didn’t cry more that day. It was nearly thirteen years ago but she remembered every note he sang and every word he said that day. She always loved it when he sang for her but when he sang a song for her that he’d written specifically for the wedding, she didn’t think she could love him more. It held so many miniscule details about her that she didn’t think he would care about much less notice. She didn’t think she could love him more that day but then life kept going. He left for his military service within a year and they had to be apart all over again. But when they reunited that time, he came home to her. They knew there was no separating them now. 

For over a decade, she was there to listen to his frustrations, to comfort him, to cheer him on. She always felt he did so much more for her than she did for him but he thought about it the same way. She was always there for him when he needed it, when he needed someone to hold him, someone to tell him he was worth loving, someone to tell him he could do whatever he dreamt he could. They were each other’s best friend. 

As Ivy stared at his face and the faces of their children, she thought about how she could have followed an entirely different path if she hadn’t responded to his email, or if she just hadn’t joined that website in the first place, or if she decided not to log on that night when he was on. Those little choices led her to concerts and restaurants and all sorts of different countries and to someone that very quickly became a very important person in her life. 

Everyone makes choices in life. They can be simple, like what color shirt to wear today, and they can be big, like moving to a foreign country. And sometimes, little decisions, like learning a new language or replying to an email, can lead to big ones and they can lead to the best parts of your life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This series was originally posted on my tumblr side-blog, lana-writes, between 19 January 2016 and 23 September 2016.
> 
> There is a playlist that corresponds to this series. You can find it at the following link, http://8tracks.com/lanolynn/my-pen-friend-chanyeol/ 
> 
> A moodboard corresponding to this series is also on my tumblr, or you can follow this link here -> http://lana-writes.tumblr.com/post/154090778708/listen-to-me-and-remember-this-okay-she/ 
> 
> If you made it this far, I'd like to thank you for reading and taking the time to give this some attention. I loved writing this series. I put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into this and I've loved every moment of it. I hope you did too. If you have any comments or thoughts on the series, please comment away! I love feedback on my writing. It keeps me going and keeps me improving!   
> Again, thank you so much for reading! I hope you have a blessed day/evening!

**Author's Note:**

> This series has been posted previously on my tumblr side blog, lana-writes.  
> There is also a playlist to go along with this series found at the following link, http://8tracks.com/lanolynn/my-pen-friend-chanyeol/


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